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[–]I3usuk 290 points291 points  (28 children)

Take it away = kid no phone

Destroy = kid no phone

Why choose the latter? 🤣

[–]Southern-Leather3001 120 points121 points  (1 child)

Anger issue. Some have lower emotional control

[–]I3usuk 29 points30 points  (0 children)

If I were the kid, I’d be like "damn this girl got issues" lol

[–]Adventurous-Ad-1274 29 points30 points  (1 child)

If i were the kid. I would find my way to steal the phone

[–]SuccessArtistic7641 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If i were the kid, i would grow up with anger issues too

[–]inkycharaz 10 points11 points  (3 children)

but the parent says "taking it away.." doesn't it mean they have took it away b4?

[–]I3usuk 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Yes, how would the kid have access to the phone if it’s been taken away. You destroy it and only reach the same conclusion. Even worse now you burned the money you paid for the said phone.

[–]inkycharaz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

the kid might've grabbed the phone from the parent's room secretly, but yes I agree it is a waste of money now since it is destroyed 😞

[–]Balbatos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lock it away... Put at your office, safelock, lock your room, etc. So many different ways other than smash it.

[–]karlkryecclesiastes 7:9 21 points22 points  (5 children)

ego

[–]jianh1989 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Temper

[–]ThatDandySpace 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Tempered Ego

[–]belagak 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Broke the tempered glass

[–]Successful_Middle578 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Glassed the broken temper

[–]Successful_Middle578 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Egoed temper

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Take it away -- been doing the recommended good parenting. I finally snapped. Next time I would give away the phone for free and cut the postpaid

[–]I3usuk 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Take it away better? You do realise that destroying the phone and taking it away reach the same conclusion. One is permanent damage, one is temporary.

[–]Array_626 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everyone keeps focusing on the phone and it being destroyed, permanently gone as if this is some kind of economics, financial optimization issue. But I want to point out that what the child learns from this is that it is ok to destroy things, other people's things, if you get angry enough and its their fault. What else is a child supposed to learn from watching their parent treat them this way? If its ok for them to be treated this way, then naturally it must be ok to treat others the same way too.

[–]CukiGorgeous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did you give the access to smartphone to the kid?

[–]SulkingOnion 0 points1 point  (4 children)

The kid would steal it back?

[–]I3usuk 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Hide better? Keep it with you at all times? Are you guys incapable of outthinking a child?

[–]Impression_Huge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I'm saying dawn like it really is not that hard to make sure they don't get to it

[–]Ok-Arm-3100 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Put it in work office drawer.

[–]Junior_Pie8255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kid jus gonn sneak in and take the phone. talking from experience, did recon mission to find where they hid my phone. snuck in their bedroom when they’re asleep. dad once bought a fake book with a safe in it to keep the phone away, i found out which book and cracked the safe with paperclip i learnt from youtube. This was back when i was 14-15

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bowl314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No kid = kid no phone

[–]Panzercuck 124 points125 points  (12 children)

man I had parents who takes away my phone constantly growing up . It was effective in controlling me though . Not sure why it didn’t work for your son but I feel like smashing it is bit excessive .

You’re just showing him smashing stuff is the answer when you’re angry . He might do it to you in the future when he becomes older or repeat it to his kids.

EDIT : to clarify , my parents didn’t just take away my phone as a means to control . They used physical means and verbal attacks too . What I meant is that I was forced to obey because do I really have a choice ? I still went through other forms of discipline that until today made me a problematic adult .

[–]IdioticZaccNot Malay Nor Chinese Enough 30 points31 points  (5 children)

It was the opposite for me, it made me more addicted by making me see screen time as this scarce and valuable thing that I have to spend every second on before it gets taken away, which only made them take it away more because I keep being on my phone and also find ways to get my phone back. I would risk getting beaten half dead with several parts of me bleeding, just to sneak a couple of messages to my online friends because of it every single day

[–]BewareEthan 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I would risk getting beaten half dead with several parts of me bleeding

O.O sir/maam are you okay?

[–]IdioticZaccNot Malay Nor Chinese Enough 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yea, the abuse (against my siblings) been tone down ever since the incident I tried to report the abuse, the report didnt go well as the cops were all against me and all told me about how they beat their kids too

Its a whole nother thing but it was what made me believe in ACAB, police station culture just makes people horrible even if you joined as a good person

[–]Panzercuck 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Went through something similar too when I was form 3 . I sneaked and turned on the WiFi router after my parents went to bed just so I could say sorry to my girlfriend at that time after we had an argument . Not sure what woke up my dad that night ( could be my room light shining ) but he caught me and took an umbrella , hit me with it and told me to kneel down and ask for forgiveness.

My dad sometimes had a really aggressive way of disciplining us when we were growing up and idk if I can blame him or blame his ancestors for this.

Well I turned out to be a good son in the end . I don’t commit crimes but I just have emotional issues like anxiety , fear and anger issues .

[–]Dry_Arrival_7993 9 points10 points  (2 children)

my parents used to forbid us from playing computer. one day my brother played with it while my parents were at work. when my father came back and found that the computer is spoiled he beat the shit out of my brother and chased him out of the house. about 5 years down the road my brother ran away from home and worked in a cyber cafe. i grew up in an abusive house my mother used to slam my head against the wall. now that I'm in my thirties i can vouch that abuse and anger is what destroyed my family, i became anti social and unemployed for many years. both of my brothers on the otherhand grew up to hate everybody and became violent

[–]Panzercuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can relate to some parts like how I still have some unsolved mental and emotional distress today . I still don’t get along with my parents

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. I hope you can find peace. In Malay we have this saying berdama dengan takdir. Embrace and acknowledge ur life not perfect. You can't change the past but you can create a perfect future according to ur own terms

[–]devilhand9327 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Same to me, take away my phone if I'm on phone too much. This were back in black and white phone 🫠🫠 they also blame me for the phone or tv if I got bad grade. Not just taken, barred from using it. So limited from watching favorite cartoon on tv, limited from using phone. And that verbal also. They told me to study and study 😅😅 I'm not some lazy person, it's just that I like entertainment because I hadn't got anything fun to do. Because they don't let me go out to play with my friends. So i had no choice but to cram everything in my head. The only thing they don't get angry is when I read study books. Even reading newspaper too much would get me scolded, or even reading comics, or even things not related to study..I tried to paint on a paper that were thrown away from painting class one time. I drew a mountain and rivers. My little sister saw it and called it beautiful but she also tells my brother, brother then come and look it a few times, and warn me not to draw again because how wasteful it is to the paper. Little did he know that its was the paper I recycle from bins just to paint myself because I know he would say something like this in the first place. It was sad but I can't help but reminiscing all the simple things that I have been barred to do during growing up.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Errr.......I don't know how to react. But I hope u grow up well

[–]Reignszun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Real, my mother broke my phone before and I lwk had no motivation to do better lmao (for context: I’m not allowed out nor do I have a sibling or friends to play w irl) when I used to lock in better for studies n shi if she just took it away

[–]iscreamsandwiches 98 points99 points  (3 children)

+1 trauma

+1 dare not to reach out to you when they encounter issue in life

+1 crack in relationship

edited to add one more (from u/panzercuck)

+1 learn to smash thing when thing don't go their way

I know it's bad but if the kid anger me too much, I might make the same choice too. Tho I guess the main problem is in me (?). Parenting is hard or rather living is hard.

Sitting down and talk it out is the best action/outcome but it's hard to have everyone on the same page.

Maybe your kids spend time on phone to chat with their friends as to not to feel left out, maybe it's something they interested in that you are not aware of, maybe they are learning on their own because they think they are lacking academically.

Nah, I'm just spouting bs. It's probably brainrot or porn.

But we can't be 100% sure of it, so better ask them and try to understand why they choose to do so (this applies to other scenarios too) instead of asking them to blindly follow your order or force them to do something without understanding why they do so and also let them know why you want them to do otherwise.

Sorry for the long text. I know it's much easy to say it than to do it, but just my 2 cent which I probably will forget when I encounter similar scenario.

TL;DR not the best way to stop kids from using phone but might work short term at the cost of ur relationship with them.

[–]vladizlav24 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For real. Childhood trauma shapes a kids future if it's not managed properly.

[–]Equivalent-Ant-1918 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good thing OP reach out and acknowledge, this is the first step of moving forwad things and being honest to OP urself. Now the next thing to move on is communicate and understand from deep down between the both. whats the cause and effect, if both have a solution and agreement then give it a try. The solution wont have to be an answer immediately and it might go in a wrong ways but we can always circle back.

Try reaching out to ur son. after all thats the mini version of u.

[–]surrealle 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Apologize for lashing out. And then explain but don't accuse. Your anger is yours to control. And you lost it. But wait until you've cooled down.

Your anger is totally relatable, especially if you've been commuting long hours and working all day. But you need to explain that you lashing out is you losing control and you feel guilty about it.

But make the phone absence semi-permanent.

If your son somehow still finds a way to get to the phone even when you hide it, then you just suck at hiding it.

When you lay down a rule, you'll need to enforce it. You cannot go, "Biarlah, okaylah, just a bit more lah,"

No means no. 2 hour limit? Done. Take the phone away.

Not doing chores or homework? No phone.

Enforcement of consequences is paramount, because kids will always test the boundaries. Always.

It's not easy raising kids. I sometimes raise my voice until the whole apartment block can hear me. And when I'm really angry, I punch or slam the table. Heck, I hit the roof of my car once because my kids were being bratty.

Sometimes I explain why I'm angry. I'd tell them, I lost control over my feelings, I feel like everything I do is wrong, I'm tired, etc.

Sometimes I do the explanation right after, sometimes it takes me a day. As long as I've cooled down, I'll explain. It's tough, trying to not tread the line between explaining and accusing.

But they're kids, they'll behave for a few days (or hours), and they'll do the same shit again. Impulse control is low for them because their brain is not fully developed yet.

Another thing is, do you yourself use the phone a lot? Or your partner? To the kids it's hypocrisy that the adults can stare at the phone for hours but they can't.

Gotta practice what you preach.

But I'll say this.

You're doing your best. Kids these days are different from when we were kids. The way our parents raised us is different. The time we have to teach our kids, to raise them to be good human beings is limited, especially with the long commute and working hours in our era.

The challenges are much, much different. Social media, AI, fucking algorithm designed for maximum addiction. We're preparing them for a future we have no precedent for.

The fact you're feeling guilty shows you're trying really hard to set a good example.

Keep it up Mommy/Daddy!

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Agree on the challenges...

[–]Reignszun 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’m 15 and I can say that taking away the phone every few hours for him to study/do something else is better then give back for a little and take back before he’s supposed to go to sleep. The problem with taking it away is that we’ll get more addicted bc we’re stressed abt losing even a few seconds of our screen time. If he does chores/studies/touches grass then you can “reward” him with a few minutes, it did motivate me to lock in so I can yap with my online friends longer. But tbf I’m a teenager so might be stupid asf advice la

[–]surrealle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You said your kid is 15. Sorry man, my kids are not at that age yet. I have ZERO idea how to raise teenagers. Kind of hard to sit down and talk at that age. I know I was difficult at that age.

Don't forget to take some "me time". Go on a trip with your SO without the kids.

A good recharge helps reset the physical and emotional wellbeing.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully... I don't want to scarred him but at the same time if I let this continues he will continue in destructive path..10 hours daily on phone = like a job

[–]wenameitming 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Yes and you need therapy.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Need it badly

[–]NorthKing9 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Sure it's not ideal. But here you are realising your mistake and being aware about your actions speak volumes in itself.

So, no you're not a bad parent. Just got to control your emotions better. So your child could follow your example one day.

And yes kids can be rough especially during their rebellious phase. But that's parenting. Everyone goes through it. So know that you're not alone.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Don't know who u are, but thanks. Really need this

[–]CivilAssociation5095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this only works if you apologize to your kid and take steps to improve on your behaviour.

if you regret online but continue being an asshole to your kid, all that's gonna happen is your kid is going to learn that you are not his safe space and he will grow distant. In 20 years you will be asking what you did wrong because your kids don't share things with you.

[–]Tseug97 23 points24 points  (10 children)

  1. Did your children get high score in exam?
  2. Did your children sleep lately due to phone?
  3. Is your children surfing adult content?

These are some of the reason to smash phone. If you really don't like your children to play phone long hours, you may create a fake job that play handphone 24 hours. Don't let them sleep, when they wanted to fall asleep you wake them up. Until they say don't want to play handphone anymore.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 10 points11 points  (9 children)

  1. Used to but now mostly drops from A/B to 50 +/-
  2. Was up playing game. And he has trouble waking up.
  3. Caught him watch porn anime. Took away his phone 1 month. It was 2 years back. Now addiction issue.. this has been almost 2 years battle. He used his phone 7-10 hours daily and sometime up to 15 hours. On top of that he would play game on his laptop. During online class he can play game on his phone. I'm too fed up

[–]karipapixel 9 points10 points  (1 child)

time to take him out to touch grass abang. ambik cuti and take him out on a holiday together. break the cycle.

[–]MimickingApple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. You can do a lot of things to fill the empty space that phone addiction left. Go to some remote ass place to camp with your son is always an option. Also, encourage exercise. Can't play phone if you're dead tired in the first place.

Parenting is hard, that's a given. Try being more proactive in your parenting style rather than reactive so that your kid knows you care.

[–]Panzercuck 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just out of curiosity , how did you approach your son after catching him watching porn ?

I assume you’re a young millennial Malaysian / Asian parent ? Not so old school or boomer like ? Correct me if I’m wrong but how did you approach this matter ?

I ask this because I feel like the general consensus to deal with this matter by boomer parents is gonna be to harshly discipline your son so I wonder what did you do instead ?

My cousin got caught many years ago because he forgot his iPad was linked to the Bluetooth speaker on his e bike so the porn sounds was blasting from his bicycle and his sister got traumatised and then his mother forced him to show what he was watching 😂🤭

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I talk to him 1-1- Porn is everywhere on the internet ..soft porn, hard porn. It's normal to be curious. We can't control to be curious but we can control our action. Accidentally saw 1-- skip that part. Or simply close it. If he don't have control, just don't watch the whole anime series. I made him read the a report on porn addiction with me. Discuss about it, what to do if he encounters porn, how to acknowledge the curiosity and how he can control the outcome by having self control and how his decision can help him make better action

[–]Federal-Response3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those games and TikTok videos are designed to make people addicted to them, not to mention children's brains are not strong enough to handle that addiction. So you can't blame your children and all. Try to involve more in your children's life.

But when you're trying to be involved in your children life, either travel, listen to him, be patient, except for some dangerous and totally unreasonable thing, please make sure you respect and listen to your children. I really hate things like:

Mom: Do you want to eat mi goreng for breakfast Child: No, bread is enough for me. Mon: Are you sure? Child: Yeah I'm full.

Then after a while

Mom: Nah, mi goreng for you to eat before you school Child: I already said I don't want Mom: I prepare this for you and you say you don't want? You know it's not easy to prepare this. Child: I already said I don't want

And the dispute starts. Then the parents starts to complain how disobedience their children is. But did they even listen to them what they need? Yeah sure some thing that is bad or dangerous should be ban, but for small things like this please give some respect.

And also, sexual education is important, do teach your children about it. Especially the internet is within our finger, do tell your children what is right or wrong. He is already 15, it's normal to have the eager to xxx, especially kids nowadays reach puberty early

[–]-the-popeye- 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How young is your son?

[–]Ehero88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Set example out of it, he caught watching hentai the worst offender and you show u dont tolerate that shit is a good example and he gonna or better be remember it.

When thing cool off u should be talking, apologize for the behavior but not the lesson and resolve his addiction issue.

Also try explore healthygamergg youtube channel, certified shrink for this kind of stuff, good lesson for both parent and kids

[–]Aggravating-Law6151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

up to 15 hours?? damn ur kid should get paid

[–]ManekiNeko5460 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Smash your own phone now in solidarity.

[–]IdioticZaccNot Malay Nor Chinese Enough 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Had abusive parents that kept taking away my phone, all it did is made me worse and more addicted because I kept seeing my screen time as limited and threatened. I'd always stressed out about losing a second of my screen time because who knows when my parents is going to take away from me. It didn't help that I had close online friends

My younger siblings had much less strict regiment. They were wayy less miserable as I was and has better control over screen time and addiction

I don't have the best answers but all I know is that the method doesn't always work and most of the time just make screen addiction worse. You have to be more involved in his life and understand him and his reasoning I suppose, you definitely traumatized him with this though

[–]SkyVett 3 points4 points  (0 children)

bad parenting? yes. everybody makes mistakes so forgive yourself and try again.

[–]SnooTigers1505 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Give old phone instead..one that have no internet access, just calling and messaging or maybe the old phone that couldn't make him playing any games because of the version is too old for the dev to support.

[–]desvalent2002 6 points7 points  (0 children)

[–]sparxicles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you a bad parent? No.

Was that a bad parenting decision? Yes.

You need to control your temper better. You are teaching your kid that it’s okay to lose your temper to get what you want. As humans we all make mistakes and the fact that you are aware and look for help online shows that you want to be a good parent. You just need to follow through with actions now.

[–]O2mofo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

10 hours? Send 2-3 years Dagestan and forget

[–]RedRunner04 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes. Yes you are. Nothing ever warrants destruction of property.

You’re the parent. You’re the one who should know better. If your son developed a phone addiction, it’s not an overnight thing. It would have developed for a long time. Likewise, the solution is also not an overnight thing.

Question for yourself - was your son raised a tablet kid? If he is, the addiction was caused by you.

[–]queb74 6 points7 points  (0 children)

[–]Upbeat-Jellyfish-494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tringt zaman kta tkde phone masa kecik. Smua brkumpul kt ruang tamu klu msa malam tgk tv. Klu katun doraemon. Digimon. Pokemon. Berebut remote tv. Ada interaction between siblings.

[–]SlowEntrance5503 1 point2 points  (8 children)

You can just lock down the internet?

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I'm working from home. Sometime I have to work late..and wifi connect with CCTV ..I don't think this is an option

[–]Sena93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah OP, next time ask for help first before snapping. Believe people here able to advise what to do. But yes, router have the capability to block mac address or throttle the speed

[–]PristineEagleZero thoughts, Empty brain 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My dad used to use Meet Circle to control wifi. Maybe if you want to use that.

[–]HyperDronaku suka terbang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I dont have the experience, but I DO have the experience of watching my friend go through it. We were playing one day (long time ago) and when we got to his house, his dad was waiting in the living room and was PISSED. I don't know about what but I sat my ass down on the couch and DID NOT MOVE. My friend sat across form his dad on the living room sofa (a second one, different from mine) and started yelling at him. After a bit, he asks for the phone and SMASHES it onto the ground. The freaking tile cracked, not sure if the phone survived. That's the first time I ever saw my friend's dad mad cause he always seems chill.

BUT, to answer your question from my perspective, personally I don't think so. Maybe yeah, save some money by not destroying the phone but it worked. My friend's dad passed a few years after he did that to my friend and nowadays my friend loves him to bits, no matter what happened, he respects him highly. Hope this helps.

[–]rain_man_primetime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did u smash it in a cool way? Or angry and lost control way. If u smashed it in a cool way, it’s a statement. W for you! If u smashed it in an angry way. Well, what he sees is probably my dad lost his shit rather than I shouldn’t be using the phone.

Nonetheless it happens right. Just appologies for the emotional part. Then talk to him about this phone issue.
And don’t buy a phone as an apology. Seperate this two things. Ur behavior and his phone addiction are 2 separate issues.

FYI im a dad myself. I know it’s hard and easier to have this hindsight advice 🫣

[–]bmw320dfan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Force your kid to do martial arts or sports.

He needs to learn how to be a man

[–]UnemployedBehavior 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean good way to show actions got consequences I guess but depending on how old your kid is, could backfire lol.

[–]akshobhya07 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey OP, let me tell you a similar story that happened to a relative of mine. It was a father and daughter story.

Some background info: Daughter is the youngest among siblings and was dad's favorite when she was a child (can say daddy's little princess).

One day dad came back home frustrated because his friend cheated him of money. His daughter was using her phone, apparently chatting with a guy and laughing (she was in high school at that time). He told her to stop chatting and to go and study, but she continued. Out of anger, he smashed her phone. She cried. That incident changed her life and her perspective of her dad.

She's in late 20s now (more than 12 years since the incident). She said the most hated person in her life is her dad (because any other "mistake" he does to her or others she relate back to this incident). Also, she stopped talking to him for years and only talks on important matters if necessary.

I tried to remind her on how she was her dad's favorite last time. She said nah, that was just her dad acting in front of others 💀, and only she knew that he never loved her in the first place (which I disagree but her trauma does not see otherwise).

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll have to figure a way to patch things up

[–]The_XiangJiaor/Malaysia refugee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like there are two kids in this situation.

[–]Tricky_Wait_6304 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Small IQ & EQ intelligence. You’re the one who should grow up

[–]LordCustard1011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may have yet to extensively explore the “take it away” option. Unless he flat out have stole it back from you when it’s on your person. There is always a better option than smashing it up. Just a waste of money.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was 2 am.. he was playing game while chatting on voice call. I snapped.

[–]Ok_Sheepherder4451 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologise for you behaviour and talk it out. Make sure he understand. It ain't perfect but I'm sure through conversations he will understand why things happen even when they shouldn't

[–]-OddLion- 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How old is your son?

[–]perkinsonline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids should never be given smart phones before the age of 16. Replace the phone with smart TV and tv games.

[–]Desperate_Injury3355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh damn good luck to you when your son grows bigger and stronger then you

[–]AlternativeMechanic7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes why give him in first place

[–]Worried-Article-6865 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just make sure you make it up for the kid, you may thought he is spoil but he still have feelings, and just think first before you do any drastic measure, consult with your spouse or someone who is reliable like your parents, ask them how to properly teach your kids, good luck OP

[–]benloh98 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Just turn off wifi🙂‍↕️

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm working remotely. So need wifi. I do parts of my task night time so I have more free time during the day

[–]Efficient_Stomach_21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh, could have just change the password 

[–]Due-Diamond-2562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, it's half Ur fault because you gave him a phone in the first place- it depends on how old Ur son is but now that it's smashed, I guess he had to do whatever you ask him to do in order to get a new phone (I got my first phone when I was 12/13(?) because I got straight As on my finals)

[–]awkward_loudness 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If it happens more than once, then that's a problem.

If it happens once and you realize you were overacting, then just say sorry and use parental control features on the phone next time.

Everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs second chances.

To err is human.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Once. Any parental feature that cannot be bypass?

[–]awkward_loudness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point is not to be confrontational with your child, since it will only make it worse. There are good parental features on Android and Apple, and you can also use a WiFi router with parental features and family DNS filters as a secondary measure. Since it's 10 hours usage, you need to slowly "wean" your child from the addiction (not cold turkey), and introduce other constructive dopamine-inducing activities that don't involve screen time. Remember that boredom is good since it allows the brain to be creative. Make it a household rule to not allow any devices in the room at bedtime. Lack of sleep will disregulate mood and erode willpower. Social media is the worst for kids. Solve it by arranging face-to-face meetups with friends and family.

[–]Aengeil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try make playing with phone as a reward for his good deed or studying

[–]Normies96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]Madmartigan2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things that might have been solved sooner when pent up ends up with escalation.

Clearly you are not happy with your son using his phone so much. Try turning off the Internet to the whole house and spend some time together doing other activities. Read a book, converse. You need to give them options to the phone rather than saying stop using the phone.

[–]BabaKambingHitam 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not a bad parent, but definately one that need to take some time off. The fact that you lost control, means you are overwhelmed. Take some time off, and then sit down and have a real talk with your kids. Communication doesnt always solve a problem, but it always opens up opportunity.

Kids memang hard to control their nafsu. Dont take it too personally. You have been teenager before so you know how hard it is to stop fapping while you know you should.

Jokes aside, legit sit and talk with your kid ljke equal. Not as parent. Let him offer a solution to you, dont force yours on him.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like ur thinking

[–]Practical-Employ-862 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valid smashout though

[–]Techno3452 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you are

You don't need a kid, you need therapy

[–]londong9000 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Mind if I ask? How is your son?

[–]Jaded-Philosophy3783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

losing emotional control is bad. You can punish, but must always be in control of your emotions while doing so

[–]vladizlav24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well my dad used to smash my ps1 cause my grades went to shit. Then he bought me another one after some time even when my grades didn't improved much lol. I miss the old man sometimes.

[–]Careless_Biscotti_94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anger issue. You should try and fix that. As a parent your actions could leave a massive negative impact on your kids life.

[–]xXShunaaXx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My father did the same when I was younger don't worry, I don't hold grudges not sure your son

[–]hanshazel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using phone more than 10 hours every day?? how??? 15 years old kid spent like 6-7h in school on average on weekdays. I feel like when u say that u take away the phone, u should do it everyday? like no phone 1h before bed or something? no phone during school hours? if u applied this rules, the screen time he could have would be like less than 6h? right? it’s how u set limits to ur child? 10h everyday doesn’t sound like setting limits to me.

[–]Crafty-Jacket7954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao, next time your kid will smash your walking stick.

[–]muhammadameer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you smashed it Infront of him then yes you are, you have shown him that you are never to be trusted if he is going through some problem because you will smash him. He will keep everything to himself. Apologize to him and explain how you were wrong to smash his phone even though he was on it for 10 hours which is insane. Next is up to you to research the best way deal with your son's addiction.

[–]Express_Job1008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking it away and hide it lah 🤷🏻 now gotta buy new phone 💀🤦🏻

[–]666sin666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like typical asian parents. Nothings bad about it. Kids also need to learn consequences of their actions.

[–]Soft-Ad-1574 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not approach him the way you’d hope your parents responded to you. Instead of seeing playing phone as the problem, see his escapism as the problem. And understand why is he trying to escape from reality, is it something at home? school? himself? Try to take some time out of your busy schedule to show him life, let him enjoy your company and show him there’s more than looking at the screen. Because clearly, his choice shows that life is undesirable outside of his screen time . Good luck to you both, I said what I said as I’m sure my parents wished they did things differently as well.

[–]kearikan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can take it away but never lose your temper (if you're a father. mother do whatever lah) in front of your kid.

[–]Emotional-Age-4176 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately bad parenting produce bad parents.

[–]LeRoyVernon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy him a suitable "phone". He's smart since he can bypassed everything. Lead him to the right path.

[–]felixaNg 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You should be jail

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

For?

[–]felixaNg 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Domestic Home Terrorist.

[–]Optimal-Abies-9756 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been experiencing this before as a kid. My father smashed my phone back when I was around 11 I think. Honestly, I do understand why he’s doing what he did back then, now. But at the time, nope. I feel like its just uncontrolled anger for no reason. But in my case theres no parental control as such prior to the incident. Just an advice to not play phone too much. And by the third time he smashed my phone. Anyway, reflecting back what happened, idt you need to smash it. Smashing it in a controlled manner is not an issue btw. But i would assume thats not the case here. So Its a mix of anger control + discipline issue. Meaning, either he really had his way of taking it back from you (which means he take it without your permission) or you actually always give in when he asked for it. Thus, my actual advice would be to be discplined and firm upon what you say. If you said screen time is 5 hours for example, by 5 hours no more phone. And if you say exceed 5 hours and no phone for you tomorrow, so you have to be firm upon what you said. What I found many parent did is they say something, and later give in when their kids ask for the opposite in hope that their kid knows self control. No, kid has almost zero self control, or at least not enough for parent to rely on it. So nope, be firm on your words. And when you did, they will know. Kid is actually far more observant than we think. They know if your words hold weight or not. So be firm. Even if you smash his phone in the sense that you said for example, if you exceed 5 hours again this time, im gonna smash your phone. And when it happens, you smashed it, no anger no emotion, just simply standing on what you say, i find it to be no problem. But its only a problem when its mix with anger. Nevertheless, what happens, happens. Its pointless to think too much abt it, might as well think abt what you can do better next time. Hope this helps.

[–]Late-Skill-2295 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Take the phone away and replace with a Linux Laptop instead

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even know what is Linux laptop...have to ask chatgpt..might be an option

[–]Ok-Arm-3100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just swap the smart phone to a feature phone. Only provide the smartphone with a written agreement with the kid.

[–]sinisters666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you did good.

[–]caparismeAffirmative Action Beneficiary 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This sounds like one of those ragebait answers on quora

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And utlr point is?

[–]Clear_Tomorrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hulk smash 👊🏻

[–]Excellent_Garbage836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parents are always so quick to blame the kid, but has anyone stopped to ask why he’s glued to his phone? If he’s a child, could that behaviour is a result of the parents’ actions? or lack of involvement 🤷‍♀️ unless the son is a full adult then maybe he deserves it 🤣

[–]Obba_Lokerat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes

[–]SuperSpastic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some kids only learn the hard way. In certain situations, smashing a phone isnt auto right or wrong, it depends on the context such as the child's behavior & whether its a one off lesson rather than abuse. If u can afford to replace it afterward, I don't think its that big of an issue. Parenting isnt one size fits all & every situation is different. Have a nice day, sir/madam.

[–]JUSANIN0225 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, 10 hours a day usually happens because the kid has no other interesting alternatives. Try planning more real-world activities and spending quality time with him, rather than just breaking the phone out of frustration.

[–]oncealwaysanother 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a step too far. You balked the moment you let anger decide.

[–]ianhooi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

taking it away and it didnt work, how did he bypass that?

[–]Better-Wasabi-2686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not a bad parent. You’re a frustrated parent who reached a breaking point.

Smashing the phone probably wasn’t the best response, and I think you already know that. But the bigger issue here is not the phone itself, it’s what is driving a child to spend more than 10 hours a day on it, and why every limit turns into a battle.

Once things calm down, it may help to apologise for losing your temper without apologising for the concern. Something like: “I was wrong to smash your phone, but I’m still genuinely worried about how much time you’re spending on it.”

Then perhaps involve him in creating the next set of rules instead of imposing them entirely. What is he doing on the phone for those 10 hours?? gaming, social media, chatting, or just doomscrolling escaping boredom? The answer may matter more than the screen-time number.

How old is your son? I think the approach would be very different for a 10-year-old compared with a 17-year-old.

[–]jommakanmamak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should have taken away his charger or change the WiFi password

Mind games, indirect

[–]Helpful_Lawfulness68 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologize, tell him you were wrong. Explain to him what drove you to act that way. But most importantly apologize and don't let him think it's ok for adults to break things.

[–]ED-W111N 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back then if my dad doesn’t want me to watch tv, he’d bring me outside and do something else that would entertain me like sports or just go out for a walk

I don’t believe smashing the tv is the answer and you should def apologize

[–]RizArtRoyale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I by no mean close to become a parent but I do know what to be in kids/teen shoe. If you try to control them without boundary we don't like it. I know all my friends back then who got parental controls always find a way to bypass it.

I don't think you a bad parent if you tried what you can. Addiction is one hell of a habit. I don't know how old is your son is but different age require different approach. Remember your son isn't just your son, he also a human being. Try to talk about it, try to communicate in a way. Try counseling if things still didn't go well.

[–]MizdurQq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Context matters. How old is your son and what is he browsing on his phone? When I was growing up as a primary school kid, I spend easily 6 hours watching TV. My mom got angry, and took away the astro card all the time. It frustrated me a lot. But here’s the catch. What was I watching? 60-70% NatGeo Wild, Animal Kingdom, Discovery Channel, remaining 30-40% Cartoons. I as a kid was far knowledgeable as compared to my peers when it came to biology and general knowledge. So did my mom made the right choice then?

On your reaction, fine? I guess? We’re all outsiders. We don’t know your story and people snap. It happens. If it’s not a recurring issue i’d say don’t beat yourself up too much

[–]NevenRKSROuch! Stop it, it's painful[🍰] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Actually for me you're good. Coz you tried all the other ways. He didn't listen so that's the consequences.

People being bitter saying you're bad or have anger issues simply coz probably they have their life and whole treasure in their phone and can't afford to lose it.

You don't have to put yourself constantly in the bad side.... sometimes "violence" is needed. I don't mean in abusive way, but... it's just a phone... and for a kid... IT'S JUST A PHONE. Unless they have Bitcoin account there with considerable amount of money... otherwise no use.

If his game or something mattered more, that should reflect in him handling it responsibly, which he failed.

See I'm siding by you because you have tried all the other possible ways and yet he took advantage of your kindness.. failing to foresee what could be worse. Now he knows for his future phone (if any).

Don't easily give in to him or comfort him. Take a few days. 👀🪷❤️🌌✨

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for acknowledging that. Thanks for at least try to confort me. But I do agree with other comments to certain degree. Could have handled it better. I don't even care about the phone

[–]NevenRKSROuch! Stop it, it's painful[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha I love to give contradictory comments because I want to promote introspection on both aspects. Had the comment section flooded by people siding on your side, my comment would be favoring the kid instead 😂🫶🏻❤️🌌✨

[–]ghim7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bonus point if you smash the phone in a cool way infront of your kid.

Also, you can set WiFi daily time limit directly via your router to his device’s specific MAC address. No parental control on his phone needed.

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use his dumbbell to smash it. If you are not gonna respect the rules, U won't have privilege. Before ur phone destroy u, I destroy it 1st.....I think I sy something like this. I didn't even yell. I just had enough

[–]GroundbreakingCry132 0 points1 point  (4 children)

not bad..just stupid..u can always takw the phone and give ur child to play for how many hours u want em to play with it..now u have to buy em new phone..ur a joke man..

[–]Initial-Roll-9662 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You should smash your son.

Then you will still have the phone. /s

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phone not important?

[–]VoreusGladius 0 points1 point  (2 children)

as someone who had similar way of growing up
you lost your temper, smashed your kid's phone, assuming you didnt lash out your anger on him
now your kid is going to dislike you, and learnt that its okay to do something violent after losing temper, might even rebel against you even worse without truly knowing and understanding why

He might even grow up to be a man who smashes things when he loses temper

id just talk with the kid about the good and bad of spending too long time on the phone if its affecting his well being
or negotiate a deal with the kid if its affecting his grades, that he is to maintain his grades at a certain range or there will be consequences

but eh its just what i think

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Done all the good parenting..done heart 2 heart talking a week before that ..how it affects his studies, his daily function. He promise to be mindful... And yet continuously use HP more than 10h daily...at 1st he said he was listening to music and sleep with his phone. But when I caught him in action play game late at night while on voice call with his gamer friend, I snapped

[–]VoreusGladius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point id just nego a deal with him Since he is aware of the good and the bad of it

He is to maintain his normal duties and his grades (not as harsh as to be top 5 of his class, top 10 or 15 of his class is reasonable)

If he manages to keep his part of his promise then he is free to manage his time as he pleases

If he fails then there is this and that consequences

Also try to ask him how he feels about his learning environment, are there anything that is hindering his progress, and what can be improved

[–]aksjxhsu 0 points1 point  (1 child)

it feels good right?

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does..😅 but now regret overwhelming

[–]Fries_and_burgers_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a bad parent? definitely; you just showed to your child that aggression and even violence was one of your methods in dealing with him. you smashed his phone, you destroyed his possession, to solve a problem. you took away something that was his to use, and inflict destruction on it. The question, am I a bad parent, has one answer here: yes, definitely.

but its not irredemable or evil, do not just take that first part of my statement in a vacuum. I understand how much you, a parent, have to go through every day to live, support, finance, and raise your family and your children. I can understand and deeply sympathise with your predicament; so many things la need handling, so much work to do, and your patience dwindles and you can feel suffocated and alone, whether you choose to do it alone or have a partner or no.

It does not make it right, however. there are many other ways to solve this without being too authoritarian; for example, make time to sit down with your kid and have a conversation. "what's been getting your attention? you're so focused on your phone I notice you keep looking at it for hours every day. It's fine to keep using it alot but I also notice you have been negligent with doing your homework, or when i call for you you don't answer."

you cant stop your kid from using the phone: unlike with, say, vapes or smoking, phones have so much stuff you can do on it that you cannot immediately decide the long hours he's been on it was for bad stuff. Maybe it's friends from school, or people online yang share interests, or maybe he found books to read, or been reading wikis. I don't know your kid, and i don't care how much you do, little or no; it's your responsibility to nurture that kid to be a fine adult, and that means, in this current era, to help him navigate the online world just as much as the physical world.

I also am very aware la, that with him on his phone a lot, its very likely he's also neglecting to talk to you and the family; your frustration would be very justified in that case, as with more reasons. Again, you can address this in your conversation with him.

I cannot give the full advice on *how* to speak to your child; I am single and happily so and only 24. I will say, and idk how you might accept this one, that you and him have to be equals here when conversing; no lording over him as his parent, no taking the reigns, no tight grip. that's just gonna make a kid who doesn't listen to their parents, who can learn to slink away for his own freedom, and one who can lie and keep secrets. Do NOT force him to develop these traits, he's gonna push you away despite your best intentions.

you're gonna have to decide on how you want to approach him next VERY carefully, because well, after this, idk la. You might not repeat doing this mistake, but he's gonna remember that forever. Forever. Ask me how I know. and ask me why it doesn't matter how you feel about this, but he WILL develop resentment towards you if you don't rectify this. Search on google la on how you can proceed. Pure gentle parenting work as good as purely strict parenting, which is 50/50 good to terrible.

But what do I know? You know yourself, you know more abt your kid, you handle this.

[–]Mysterious-R07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you bought it, you smashed it. nothing wrong here. just buy another one then give it to your son with a warning(if he need it). or you can ask him to work to buy a new phone(based on his age)

[–]Aeyith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair, could have handled it better since the phone is coming out of you guys punya paycheck maybe, or at least leave it at taking it away / putting it inside locked safe.

A good thing is, your son is finding way's to get what he wants, that a great dedication. We know your son is going to do great things. Now, we perhaps need to guid your son to find interest that would make him have that same amount of dedication. Or send him to boarding school if he's of age 🤣

[–]Rednosesamx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely understand the frustration as a parent. Next to do is send the kid to martial art class which they do teach respect and discipline before combat. That's the only option for now. Yes I have lost my temper at my child before however I do sit down and talk about it after and explain why I reacted that way and explain how I grew up when I was a child. I used to be an evil sob kid, I was born with horns and tail oy missing was the trident. We are still learning eventhough we are grown ups and always will have room for improvement

[–]Economy_Appeal_6030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mind telling how did he bypass your previous methods? Taking away his phone should've worked, how did he bypass that?

If he took it back from your purse, you just had to keep it somewhere else. Also, why don't talk with him, like I mean actually talk to him nicely asking him is there any way he would understand you and stuff like that. Get him ice cream first, then try talking to him

[–]OkCategory9615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh, never heard of screentime?

[–]Youlknowthatone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tried this but the phone survived. Our fault for buying a hardy phone lol.

Anyway this is not the way to go. They will grow up thinking disappointment is expressed through anger.

[–]Flashy_Muffin212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rotan!!!!

[–]Extra_Cranberry_2913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just take it with you wherever you go why need to smash it? You’re teaching your son a bad habit of throwing/smashing things in anger

[–]AkiSilvanna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh, and most frank, everybody has anger and i wouldnt totally say you are a bad parent at least imo. Thats just how humans are. You cant say no one makes mistakes nor anybody doesnt lash out. Heck even I did too sometimes even between siblings nor anybody but what i learned is that one realized it and approach the other person and appologized. Talk through things out. Because in the end we are all humans. We try to be good and sometimes doing good methods dont really work so you got frustrated and did the things you regret but you realized it and that alone made you different than others already. Some never realized it and just think what they did is right. So for me, no one can say 'control anger' as easy like lemon squeezy. You can try but at some point you do make mistakes but hey acknowledge it and communicate.

And parenting isnt even easy either. No kids want their parents saint like angels but they can see one tries at least and kids are good at seeing intentions. All I'm saying is there is not really one way to teach another and there is many ways.

Dont be hard on yourself. Being a parent is a big challenge but trying to be a good one is even more so just try your best. I'm sure your kid will understand, especially teaching kids in these days. Such big challenge

[–]clym88 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Curious how taking it away doesnt work. And how old is your kid? Ten hours is a lot, factoring in school and sleep. Sound a bit wtf. How did it even come to this stage?

But what's next though? Are you guys talking like normal now? Have you agreed to buy a new phone? Got conditions?

[–]Automatic_Voice5145[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't know what he did to his phone. I set parental control max 5 hours of usage. Somehow it will show like it is under 5 hours and then next day it will show real hours of usage. Taking it away work for a while. Repeated offence. I told him y smashed. Repeated warning. I'm not gonna buy him new phone

[–]clym88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what does he do on the phone and what did/ do you expect him to do in the absence of a phone? Sounds like it's not a necessity in the first place, but lets be fair, all kids get screentime, keeps us sane as parents. He got hobbies? Yall do stuff together usually?

[–]Oseanfed66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First is it a gift from someone if yes. Sigh you just screwed yourself over..

They if smart enough.. Will sue you in low claims court

IDK how that works but I'm no legal expert

2nd.. Couldn't you give him.. A Nokia. Or a flip phone in Te beginning.

3rd Why not buy him a phone that is one bad but still useable in some way I've been using the same old phone from 8 years ago

[–]GymsharkSingh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk how it works with these days kids, but i was addicted to my computwr as a teen, one day dad broke my computer and ever since then ive been obedient and its also helped me as its not like my dad broke it and just left me at home, he would take me out and stuff. I feel making them a little scared is good, these days kids are spoilt and pampered

[–]Xc0liber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if is good or bad but the one thing I know is your kid will learn from your actions.

Whether he learnt the lesson from it or he'll only learn the bad part, only time will tell.

[–]TechnicalCap13 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Good job, OP . It shows son that you mean what you say about no phone. You are trying your best to cure him of his addiction. Good parenting, because you care about him and his future so much.

[–]TechnicalCap13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't replace the phone anytime soon. I am surprised some commenters are asking about replacement. Give it six months at least, and monitoring of his behaviour before even considering. How old is the son?

[–]Affectionate-Cry4216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see you. It’s frustrating. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Parents are not perfect, we are humans too, we make mistakes.

Show your child how to make amends when we did something wrong. You can apologize to him and let him know that at this stage he is not matured enough for a phone as he cannot control himself.

[–]Taikor-Tycoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, just take the phone away, not for good but certain time only. Let them have their phone time when allowed.

Second, find a replacement for them after no phone time. Don't expect them to find it themselves. Assign them chores, introduce new things (e.g. pickleball), fix a study time, activity time in the park...

Third, remember that change takes time. Kids in trouble, they can't get out of it. They need you. Your patience, creativity and resourcefulness is needed here. Keep this in mind

[–]onima_mahiro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes if you really want to get rid of your son's phone don't let him find out especially not letting him see you smash it

[–]CyberTrooperForB40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apa yang diganti dengan phone tu? Kalau rampas phone dari budak dan lepas tu mak bapak sambung buat hal sendiri macam biasa, itu bukan menyelesaikan ketagihan phone... Itu mendera perhatian budak tu...

Kena ganti ketagihan phone dengan sesuatu yang bermanfaat macam bersukan... Main drone pun dah kira bermanfaat untuk skill video zaman sekarang ni... Main bola, renang, apa apa sukan boleh sangat ganti ketagihan phone... Yang penting mesti ganti...

[–]Axolotl_Yeet1No 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bad parent? Nahhh

A bad choice? Arguable

My mom did the same with my sister. Twice too. To be fair, she did warn us many times before it happened. I also got warned a few times before due to keep being on the phone and not helping in the house but never thought she'd actually do it. There is a breaking point for everyone and your son is breaking yours. I suppose your son is old enough to understand the reason you're smashing the phone even if it's not justified. Later, maybe have a talk eith ur son. Get him to promise not to do stuff you don't want him to do and you will promise something for him too. I saw the comment about his degrading academics too so maybe try to start on that. 15 is not too late to get his academic back up. Try to make him active is sports too or other hobby like camping or hiking. You're a good parent for not ignoring the problem with him, just not a perfect one and that's okay because everyone got flaws

[–]goldwave84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old is Yr son, OP?

[–]DragonFable88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you have anger issue, just hide the phone or bring it to your work place. Everyday 10 hours is too much

There is a lot ways to prevent your son use the phone

[–]Anxious-Net-9016 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how old your kid

[–]KaleidoscopeOk2422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mum smashed my psp. Guess what it doesn't affect my grades at all. All it left me is trauma and hatred. Congratulations, your kid will remember this forever and no they will never thank you pr think that what you're doing is for their good.

[–]FattyGobbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you were a kid, did your dad ever destroy your Nintendo or PlayStation?

[–]littlebeetle_129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well..from psychological pov, son is going to learn violence is the effective way to gain control. Might affect how he treat his wife or kids in the future.

[–]Pi_Orbital 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old are you OP? If I may ask.

[–]Gakaito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smashing things is definitely wrong. Your kid will copy this behavior and choose violence when something doesn't work as he wanted.

Imo, what you can do now to prevent this from happening is to admit your mistake and apologize to your kid for losing your temper. Let him understand that this is wrong.

Then please take time to listen to your kid and figure out why he is addicted to phone. He might not be open to you, but please stay patient and don't just push your own opinions on him. Show him that you care about him. Let him know why you think that it is harmful to him and try to work out a compromise together.

[–]_0iii0_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The trauma still comes tho, maybe apologize and explain it why you did that with gentle talk

[–]Ok-Experience-4955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh seems like your kid has underlying issues if we are excluding everything everyone has said about you already. Addiction isnt something that manifest just because you took coccaine, hospitals has been giving people morphines and no one got addicted compared to their weaker variant(heroin).

He probably needs better alternatives to his gaming, if school isnt something that gave him this option(friends/etc) then he needs something else, which can be quite literally anything. School results won't fix how your kid feels if that isnt what he strives for.

Probably best way to salvage the current situation, you can do is explain that you wanted the best for him which is for him to spend more time with his studies and alternatives other than gaming, like hanging out with friends, sports, hobbies and/or with friends.

Fyi study results arent everything btw, your kid needs to want to live first and results should be secondary. Funny how we used to hate our parents for shit like that but they wanted the best for us and they do not know how.

[–]gruvjack1200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old is your son? Kids from this generation were born when the internet, phones and personal devices already existed. It's hard for them to imagine a world without these devices and therefore a life without them.

Explain in clear terms the negative impacts of overuse (fatigue, eye degradation, loss of focus in school, etc) and the risk of viruses, scammers and other negative elements.

Get him to understand it and agree on a limit of use per day plus cutoff time to put the phone down for the night. Honour the agreement and get to keep the phone.

[–]retxed018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Better to set up daily tasks or chores and let him earn screen time as a reward instead.

[–]ismiameen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son is the same way. His IQ too high for his own good. No matter what i do, he figures out a way to bypass. He learned how to hack android to be able to byoass the paremtal control. And he somehow is able to get whatever password i create. I now gave up. I told him to just use his phone in his room and i told his siblings not to be like him. No other way.

[–]virgotop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand people who destroy things. Like why??

[–]wen_ray_cpl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old is your son?