I know he’s your first love and absolutely never ever try to force someone they don’t want to do, but he sounds awfully selfish and if he’s selfish in bed he’s selfish out of bed and you just haven’t figured it out. You deserve better but with him being your first love it makes it very, very, hard, so it’s best to just accept that it’s him and stay until things are better or worse.
You’ll do that for him but he won’t do it for you? What else doesn’t he do for you and won’t even consider doing? Licking your vagina is “nasty” but sucking his cock isn’t? That is nothing other than misogyny.
I mean, for many women it's the only way they can orgasm at all. Most women cannot orgasm at all from penetration alone. You'll notice she didn't mention him making her come. That matters a lot to some people and it's pretty disingenuous to act like oral shouldn't be important to anyone just because it isn't important to you.
Most likely, his selfishness towards sex won't get any better. No doubt, sexual satisfaction is not the only thing he is selfish with. Truly take time to consider what you are getting out of this relationship. It may not seem bad now, but 20 years down the road when you are getting older and would find more support and commitment to each other's happiness helpful. It can feel lonely.
He will not change. If he satisfys you in other ways and your okay to go without, that's gold.
I won't go so far as to decide for OP that he's selfish.
I don't have patience to give head (or frankly a hand job) to my BF, not only has he not pressured me to do it anyway, he will find satisfaction with penitration/his own hand.. And he gives an AMAZING hand job.
So, as I find it takes time and stimulation to finish, he will spend A LOT of time giving it to me. Does that make me selfish? Maybe, but it works. I wash most of the dishes so...
does he do other things to make you cum? thats very important here. also, you mentioned that he said if you don't want to do it to him you don't have to, but that you don't mind it, so you do it. the truth about sex is that there are some things your partner might not like doing, that you're into. You might be willing to do something for them, but they find that same act a hard limit. Ive known guys who wanted to eat me out, but because I just don't like oral, I said no. As well, don't try to convince him to do it. It's not cool to try and change someone's mind about sexual acts.
He will never give oral to you. Make your decision accordingly. If a man doesn't like a sex act, he has a right to refuse. Do not push a person to change their preference. What you should do is leave the relationship in the first few sex sessions if he doesn't enjoy giving oral. That's the ONLY sign you will ever get it regularly in a relationship. Don't bargain several months or years later, it's ridiculous
He's entitled to his preferences and that's a boundary for him. You can't change it and you shouldnt try to; that's a choice he'd need to make free of any pressure. With that said, calling it nasty is really unnecessary and it makes me wonder if he's extremely immature.
I'm taking issue with one thing however and that's refusing to kiss you after you give him oral. If he thinks his genitals are so dirty that he can't stand to kiss you after you perform oral on him, he needs to work on his hygiene. I'd suggest you stop giving him oral until he cleans himself better so that he stops associating his genitals with making your mouth soiled to the point he can't express affection.
Dang some girls in here are giving some awful advise .. first of all… if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it period .. not liking something doesn’t make him selfish .. now about you going down on him, if he doesn’t care for it and you don’t care for it, don’t do it to him… only do it if YOU like it.. it’s okay for men and women to not like oral.. it doesn’t mean they’re not attracted to you it doesn’t mean they are selfish or misogynist .. it simply means they don’t like it like some people don’t like bananas … i will say though, if u notice it makes him uncomfortable but you are curious about it, talk to him about it openly .. ask him if he feels some type of way about it and ask him if he would be willing to try it or not .. not sure how old you guys are but it’s not uncommon for relatively less experienced people to feel awkward about oral..
Is a woman who doesn’t like giving head a lesbian? People are allowed to have preferences. And if it’s not compatible with your preferences you break up.
I'm sure most of us who are straight and sexually active have been with a man like that. They don't change so if he's not getting you off in some other way then this is how your sex life is going to stay.
That's all very true, but also dont do things for him that he wont do to you!!!! Do not be putting time and energy into manually or orally pleasuring this man if he isn't doing the same for you, or you're kind of a dummy lol. And in ten years time, you'll be paying 50 percent of the bill but doing everything for the home and children, and come night time, you'll be pestered yourself to partake in sexual activity you get sweet fuck all out of. You may not mind now, but you'll mind then. So i think she should leave, and if not, at least make sure theres equality going on inside AND outside of the bedroom. They can make out & have PIV if both parties are ok with that, but it shouldn't ever be one sided acts of sexual service.
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You get yourself an eater. He’s not an eater. If you need an eater and that’s a dealbreaker for you, you find someone who will do what he won’t.
I know he’s your first love and absolutely never ever try to force someone they don’t want to do, but he sounds awfully selfish and if he’s selfish in bed he’s selfish out of bed and you just haven’t figured it out. You deserve better but with him being your first love it makes it very, very, hard, so it’s best to just accept that it’s him and stay until things are better or worse.
You’ll do that for him but he won’t do it for you? What else doesn’t he do for you and won’t even consider doing? Licking your vagina is “nasty” but sucking his cock isn’t? That is nothing other than misogyny.
Or confused sexuality. I'm convinced dudes who don't eat p, don't actually like p all that much.
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I mean, for many women it's the only way they can orgasm at all. Most women cannot orgasm at all from penetration alone. You'll notice she didn't mention him making her come. That matters a lot to some people and it's pretty disingenuous to act like oral shouldn't be important to anyone just because it isn't important to you.
Pickmesha
This is literally the most pick me drivel I've ever seen in this subreddit lmao
Years from now you're gonna be like "omg why did I put up with that? My pleasure mattered as much as his did".
Unrelated but I just love the womanhood in this comment section. 💖 Every woman deserves their wants and needs fulfilled
Most likely, his selfishness towards sex won't get any better. No doubt, sexual satisfaction is not the only thing he is selfish with. Truly take time to consider what you are getting out of this relationship. It may not seem bad now, but 20 years down the road when you are getting older and would find more support and commitment to each other's happiness helpful. It can feel lonely.
He will not change. If he satisfys you in other ways and your okay to go without, that's gold.
I won't go so far as to decide for OP that he's selfish.
I don't have patience to give head (or frankly a hand job) to my BF, not only has he not pressured me to do it anyway, he will find satisfaction with penitration/his own hand.. And he gives an AMAZING hand job.
So, as I find it takes time and stimulation to finish, he will spend A LOT of time giving it to me. Does that make me selfish? Maybe, but it works. I wash most of the dishes so...
Throw out the whole man and get a new one. I didn't know what I was missing until I got one who is ALWAYS hungry and knows what to do
Is he giving you an orgasm every time you have sex? Because you deserve that as much as he does. You are not a human sex toy.
There’s a man out there who will give you exactly what you want.
does he do other things to make you cum? thats very important here. also, you mentioned that he said if you don't want to do it to him you don't have to, but that you don't mind it, so you do it. the truth about sex is that there are some things your partner might not like doing, that you're into. You might be willing to do something for them, but they find that same act a hard limit. Ive known guys who wanted to eat me out, but because I just don't like oral, I said no. As well, don't try to convince him to do it. It's not cool to try and change someone's mind about sexual acts.
He will never give oral to you. Make your decision accordingly. If a man doesn't like a sex act, he has a right to refuse. Do not push a person to change their preference. What you should do is leave the relationship in the first few sex sessions if he doesn't enjoy giving oral. That's the ONLY sign you will ever get it regularly in a relationship. Don't bargain several months or years later, it's ridiculous
I definitely wouldn’t want someone doing that to me if they didn’t want to, but I don’t want to do it either, and I will not.
Sis you must give the same energy to him: no oral for you means no oral for him. Just stop.
He's entitled to his preferences and that's a boundary for him. You can't change it and you shouldnt try to; that's a choice he'd need to make free of any pressure. With that said, calling it nasty is really unnecessary and it makes me wonder if he's extremely immature.
I'm taking issue with one thing however and that's refusing to kiss you after you give him oral. If he thinks his genitals are so dirty that he can't stand to kiss you after you perform oral on him, he needs to work on his hygiene. I'd suggest you stop giving him oral until he cleans himself better so that he stops associating his genitals with making your mouth soiled to the point he can't express affection.
Well…. I think he’s kind of a coward quite frankly, but if it were me I’d stop going down on him. Fair is fair.
Dang some girls in here are giving some awful advise .. first of all… if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it period .. not liking something doesn’t make him selfish .. now about you going down on him, if he doesn’t care for it and you don’t care for it, don’t do it to him… only do it if YOU like it.. it’s okay for men and women to not like oral.. it doesn’t mean they’re not attracted to you it doesn’t mean they are selfish or misogynist .. it simply means they don’t like it like some people don’t like bananas … i will say though, if u notice it makes him uncomfortable but you are curious about it, talk to him about it openly .. ask him if he feels some type of way about it and ask him if he would be willing to try it or not .. not sure how old you guys are but it’s not uncommon for relatively less experienced people to feel awkward about oral..
He's gay
Is a woman who doesn’t like giving head a lesbian? People are allowed to have preferences. And if it’s not compatible with your preferences you break up.
He’s gay
I'm sure most of us who are straight and sexually active have been with a man like that. They don't change so if he's not getting you off in some other way then this is how your sex life is going to stay.
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That's all very true, but also dont do things for him that he wont do to you!!!! Do not be putting time and energy into manually or orally pleasuring this man if he isn't doing the same for you, or you're kind of a dummy lol. And in ten years time, you'll be paying 50 percent of the bill but doing everything for the home and children, and come night time, you'll be pestered yourself to partake in sexual activity you get sweet fuck all out of. You may not mind now, but you'll mind then. So i think she should leave, and if not, at least make sure theres equality going on inside AND outside of the bedroom. They can make out & have PIV if both parties are ok with that, but it shouldn't ever be one sided acts of sexual service.
This ^
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