r/196

My brother already doesn't let me be around my nephew without their supervision, and that's just because I am an atheist, leftist, and support LGBT. Once I'm far enough in my transition that it'll be impossible to hide the fact that I'm trans, they likely will completely disown me and never allow me to see their kids.

My nephew is the sweetest, smartest little kid I've ever seen. He is barely 2 and he can count to 100 and memorize song lyrics his grandma, my mom, writes for him. He's so active and he loves communicating and he's loved by every member of our family, including me. I'm also pretty sure he thinks I'm the coolest uncle ever, he's always so excited to see me, he always yells out his special baby speech nickname for me, despite now being old enough to properly pronounce my name. He loves to jump on my bed and show me his coloring and shoot my little inflatable basketballs through the door hanging hoop I have. I love seeing him, I love playing with him.

But I'm not trusted enough to be close to him, because I reject bigotry and fight for human rights. They just had a daughter and I didn't even get to hold her when we visited them in the hospital. And it's just going to get a hundred times worse when I become fully trans.

My mom and sisters are currently the only ones who know. I don't trust my oldest sister that she'll be respectful about it when it comes to the rest of my family, she doesn't really like me and parrots a lot anti queer talking points. My younger sister is very supportive, I'm so glad that I could help her grow into an innate respect and love for those who are different. My mom understands but also often doesn't. She blames my hrt for why my depression is getting worse. I don't feel very secure in my relationship with her since I came out. I really don't know what my dad is going to say.