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Teachers Who Quit Their Jobs Are Sharing Their Final Straw Moments, And Hoooooly Crap

Dannica Ramirez
11 min read
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Drama Teachers Share Their Horror Stories

After featuring a viral TikTok of a teacher explaining why she retired after 24 years in the field, other stories poured in from ex-teachers in the BuzzFeed Community expressing why they did the same — and the reasons are shocking. Here are some stories from former teachers that might leave you feeling baffled and disappointed in the education system, but also very appreciative of those still in the profession:

1. "I only made it three years as a classroom and special education support teacher. I'm desperately trying to find a job outside the traditional public school classroom now because of the damage it has done to my mental health. I was getting sensory overload from the moment I stepped in the building, and would spend my day being sexually and emotionally harassed by my students because they knew they could get away with it. Towards the end of the school year, I came very close to being held on a 48-hour mental health evaluation because I couldn't tell my doctor I wanted to continue living. That's how bad it was in the classroom."

Teacher in a classroom looks thoughtful as young children move around energetically. Maps and art decorate the walls

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2. "I retired after COVID-19 with 34 years and more of experience in both general and special education. What I found is that teaching is no longer respected; it has become a battlefield with no support, respect, or recognition. America has become a country lacking civility and intellectual curiosity, beset by general cultural ignorance."

—Anonymous

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3. "I retired after 23 years in the profession. When I taught second grade, students didn't even know how to spell their last names or recite their addresses. Rather than being committed to learning, they were focused on making TikToks and scrolling on Instagram. Some parents would even FaceTime their kids in the middle of a lesson. It's brutal and exhausting."

A person is sitting at a desk with a laptop, looking at their phone. Another person is in the background at a similar desk. Both appear to be working or studying

Goodboy Picture Company / Getty Images

4. "I only made it one year as a teacher. Maybe that makes me weak, but it just wasn't worth my health. I have heart issues to begin with, and I ended up in the ER with a heart attack. Our school had no janitorial staff, librarians, music teachers, special education teachers, OR before/aftercare teachers. We were in charge of EVERYTHING. I had 30 kindergarteners that I had to manage and teach (some of whom had disabilities and needed accommodations), no break or prep time during the day, and was often at work until 8 p.m. cleaning my assigned section of the school, prepping lessons, and looking up resources for how to help my students with behavioral problems. It was too much. And as a first-year teacher, I made $30K that year."

kbaker90

5. "I left the teaching profession after getting assaulted by a student and almost dying from it. I was blamed by the administration because, of course, I must have escalated the situation and the student (which I didn't). During meetings with the child's parents, I was called a racist after saying I no longer felt safe in the classroom. I begged to have the student who assaulted me removed and switched to another classroom — which they did not do. I was told that I 'hadn't gotten used to this type of student yet.' Teachers are not protected by the administration and are always blamed. Somehow, it's always our fault. Students and parents do not care anymore."

A person, sitting at a desk deep in thought with hands clasped, is surrounded by blurred, raised hands in an office setting

Sashafoxwalters / Getty Images

6. "I left when post-secondary institutions were adopting a corporate image. It all came down to the almighty dollar with a dumbed-down curriculum. Even as tenured educators, we were obligated by deans, VPs, and presidents to submit self-evaluations to keep our positions. It became stressful and overloaded. I knew it was time to move on."

—Anonymous

7. "I retired eight years ago after 32 years of teaching at about 30 public schools and taught at the elementary school level. Before I retired, I saw a shift in parents. There were some awesome parents, but some would do anything to appease their children because they either didn't want to be their friend or just didn't want to be bothered being a parent. There has been a group of parents who just wanted to intimidate teachers to get their way, and there have been those who didn't care about education. It just kept getting worse."

An older woman gestures and appears to be scolding a younger woman who is sitting with her head in her hands in a kitchen setting

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8. "I got my teaching credential in 1982 and retired in 2021. We went from the earliest computer classrooms to full Chromebook instruction. We went from nobody having a cellphone to daily battles over them. One of the biggest factors, though, was the constant flux of administration and curriculum. We had admin who changed our instructional standards nearly every damn year and implemented pacing charts and 'teach to the test' policies that whittled away any meaningful instruction. Yes, I know that dealing with kids and parents is difficult, but so is the confusing, unhelpful, and pointless habit of every incoming admin reinventing the wheel regarding standards, practices, and goals. My retirement is restful as hell."

Students in a classroom raising their hands in front of a blackboard with writing on it, an American flag visible in the background

Victoria Pearson / Getty Images

9. "In my area, many young people (middle and late teens) have babies. They haven't had time to grow up, and many of their parents don't parent until it's report card time. Despite calling and sending letters of concern about behavior, lack of motivation, and failure to turn in work, the parents wonder why their precious, unparented child is failing. I began teaching at 48 and retired at 70."

—Mary, 73, Texas

10. "I've been out on disability since December after suffering from a nervous breakdown. This was my 24th year of teaching. Schools are not funded adequately, which leads to larger class sizes and caseloads with less programming, supplies, and support. Decisions about education are made by those who are NOT in the classroom and have no idea what it's like. I tried. I was active in my union, mentored new teachers, and attended board and council meetings. I even lobbied at the state and federal levels. Society doesn't value education because if it did, parents would do their part, schools would be funded equitably, and teachers wouldn't have to purchase their own supplies."

A man wearing a white shirt, gray vest, and beaded bracelets is seated at a desk, focused on reading documents

Visual Vic / Getty Images

11. "I was teaching kindergarten. I had 17 students; four had autism, and one had a defiant disorder. I had no aide in the class to support me. When my back was turned, one of my students got angry and hit me over the head with a metal portion of a chair. I lost the use of my arm for over a month. My principal told me that I 'needed to work harder' to make the student like me."

—Ann, 52, Florida

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12. "After 40 years of teaching in elementary schools, I will be retiring in 2025! I have put my heart and soul into this profession from the beginning, and I've always tried to design my teaching style to what is best for my students. Believe me — students and parents have definitely changed over the course of my teaching career. If I were to sum it up, it's the lack of RESPECT. There's a lack of respect for teachers, common-sense rules, and oneself. Parents are a child's first teacher, and respect should be taught and modeled at home. Then, teachers and the school community are responsible for reinforcing what should've been taught at home. My job is to teach curriculum while modeling and reinforcing a positive environment in the classroom. I've tried my best, and because of it, I have made a wonderful life with lifelong friends, including students who are all grown up and have kids of their own."

Children happily throwing crumpled paper in a classroom. Five kids, including two boys and three girls, cheerfully participate in the playful activity

Skynesher / Getty Images

13. "I am a retired middle school teacher from Northern California. I taught in a community with very entitled parents and students, and there was only one supportive principle. The other administrators threw staff under the bus to make themselves look good. I taught for 40 years."

—Anonymous

14. "I taught for 20 years. I became an educator to share my love of science with the next generation. I loved inspiring young people to achieve great things. In recent years, I found my primary task had become behavior management. Recently, even older students failed to self-regulate and listen to directions. This year, students broke various pieces of lab equipment after playing with them with the abandon of unruly preschoolers. Shortly into the school year, I was forced to baby-proof a high school physics lab: locking cabinets, covering electrical outlets, removing handles from sinks, and more. All because of students' poor decisions. It was definitely time to retire. Since I left, my mental health improved significantly. Even though I no longer have a 'summer break,' I find it very refreshing to finish June and not feel like my soul has been completely removed from my body. I enjoy being treated like a human being in my new profession."

—Anonymous

15. "I taught for 16 years before leaving the profession. Teachers must compete with social media just to keep students' attention. Over time, I believe that behavioral and academic expectations have eroded in our schools and society in general. Frankly, education isn't valued in the United States. If it were, school budgets wouldn't be constantly slashed. What America really values is money, and what makes money is rewarded. Even our colleges and universities have seemingly become businesses, with the intent to produce workers."

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16. "I left after 15 years. I loved creating, teaching, and organizing, and I loved being the supportive adult for many kids who didn't have anyone else. However, the 80% of parents who were absent, didn't care, didn't parent, or were just straight-up combative and rude far outweighed the things I loved and the $60k I was making. Parents and students did not take accountability for their part in learning and being decent human beings. I always wanted a camera in my classroom so that parents could tune in at any time and couldn't deny that their kid was behaving so badly. I think that, for sure, would've caused some self-reflection on the parent's part."

A woman sits on a couch looking tired while holding a remote. A child is upside down on another couch in the background

ilkercelik / Getty Images

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17. "I thought I would teach forever, but I retired after 29 years — as soon as I qualified for retirement. Beyond the parents and behavioral issues of the students, politicians have made teachers afraid to actually teach or be welcoming to ALL students, their families, and their beliefs. Is a parent going to take offense if I use they/them pronouns and try to get me fired? Are they going to take offense at a book I read to my class?"

A teacher reads a book to three young children in a classroom, engaging them in storytime

Johnnygreig / Getty Images

18. "Teachers now have to do more than just teach school curriculum. We are teaching things normally taught at home, such as integrity, respect, responsibility, compassion, empathy, and kindness — which takes time away from learning academics. Additionally, low enrollment is everywhere, but instead of focusing on students, districts focus on money. As a result, class sizes increase or become combination classes. It's no wonder there is a shortage of new teachers. Who would want to be paid so little for doing so much more now?"

—Chris, 50, California

19. Lastly: "I just left this year after 12 years. The job became so mentally exhausting from the constant need to be 'on.' So many kids lack basic skills and the ability to reason. They constantly need help because they don't know how to troubleshoot or have the desire to try. The job has also become extremely performative. It was so overstimulating that by the end of the day, I had nothing left to give to my loved one, which wasn't fair. I had an incredibly supportive admin team and coworkers, and it still wasn't sustainable. I wish more people not only understood how dire education has become but actually took steps to fix it. Go to the parent-teacher meetings and actually listen to what the teachers are saying. We're highly educated professionals who know how to do our jobs, so please honor that. Our kids deserve expertise, and we deserve to do the job we love without this level of burnout."

A teacher in a suit warmly hugs a student in a classroom. Other students and educational materials are visible in the background

Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

Teachers are truly stronger than the Navy SEALS. If you're a retired or ex-teacher, what was your "final straw" moment? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your story using the form below.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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BuzzFeed

People Share Why They Had To Cut Off These Family Members

Tanishtha Kotian
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I've cut off friends from my life when they did something problematic or crossed the line too often. And that was probably the most courageous thing I've done. So when I came across this Reddit thread where this user asked, "People who cut off their family, what did they do to you?" I was in awe of these people who prioritized their well-being over toxic family members. It's frightening, but sometimes necessary.

I also grabbed responses from this thread

Here are 30 times people had to cut off their family members, and these are a hard read:

Note: This article contains references to sexual harassment, child abuse, and drug abuse, among other sensitive topics.

1. "Grew up in an explosive and abusive household. When I was finally able to move out, I started slowing distancing myself. Mom went off the deep end. She started out accusing me of sleeping with every single person I know (yes, EVERY person), coming up with outlandish stories for why I was an awful person, and threatening suicide. When I cut her off completely, she started stalking me. I changed my number and moved to a new state. I did not give anyone, including my brother, my new home address, and I started receiving cards in the mail from her last year."

— lovelyxcastle

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2. "An aunt in the rich part of the family made my mother clean their bathrooms one day when she told them we couldn't afford food (unlucky situation, both parents unemployed within days) instead of just helping her out. They didn't even pay her; they gave her food they had prepared that day and some potatoes and oil. From that day on, my mother was so hurt and felt so humiliated I decided to pretend they don't even exist."

oo-----D

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3. "My mother used to beat the shit out of me on a daily basis. Lashed out for no reason other than me being a child. Woke me up in the middle of the night to give me cold showers because I did something she judged to be out of line (it was really bullshit reasons most of the time). Put my face in garbage full of maggots because I forgot to tie the garbage bag before putting it in the bin (mind you, I was still a child). She always did this when no one was home, and I was so afraid to say anything that my sister and dad didn't know it was happening until I told them a few years ago. I'm 29 now, with BPD, PTSD, and anxiety because of all of this. I'm still struggling with all the emotions I lived with during my childhood. To this day, she still doesn't understand why I don't want anything to do with her. She still calls my sister to get her to convince me to get in contact with her. My sister hasn't nagged me with this since she found out what happened."

"Now I'm living with my GF, who is the most wonderful and loving person ever. I'm glad I don't live in fear anymore." 

Psychological-Dog757

4. "I found out my dad wasn't really my dad, and then my mother proceeded to lie about what actually happened. I experienced a childhood full of physical and verbal abuse, but he never laid a hand on my sisters. Now I know why. I corroborated the truth via other family members before cutting off all contact with mom and "dad"... still close with my sisters, though.

— chAtoyant453

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Warner Bros

5. "I was 10 years old. I was given to a 34-year-old man to be his third wife. My parents were so happy because it was a great "honor" to them that I was chosen out of all of the girls there to be with the man that was second in charge. I was smuggled out a month before my 13th birthday. Was deprogrammed; tried to end my own life when I was 16 because of what I went through. I'm still alive. I'll be 49 this year. I don't know if my parents are even alive."

 lika-kiki-no

6. "My cousin had addiction problems and just burned every bridge in our family. We used to buy him food and stuff he needed instead of just giving him money because it'd go straight to more drugs, but he eventually became so toxic we couldn't even do that."

KermitTheFraud92

7. "I had been in the hospital for over a month, nearly dying from a rare disorder. My dad had come and spent time with me almost every day, whereas my mom? Not even a phone call. When I finally got out and was at home, I called her to update her on what had been going on with me, and she dominated the conversation. She somehow made the entire situation about her—and how worried she was, what she would have done if that happened to her, etc. My 2-year-old ran up to me and was hugging my leg, and as I looked down into the eyes of my baby, I realized I couldn't even imagine if my baby had just gone through what I did: not visiting, not calling, and making every conversation about me. That was pretty much the last time I ever talked to my mom."

"My sister had already cut mom from her life, and that moment was when it dawned on me mom really doesn't care about us; she doesn't actually love us. A loving mother would never have treated their children the way that woman treated us."

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Subwaypossum

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8. "My father was an abusive alcoholic who left us when I was a teen after several suicide attempts. He was clearly not okay mentally. We reconnected in my early 20s, and when I finally started to build my trust for him again, he disappeared. He tried to reconnect with me a year later when he needed something. I haven't spoken to him since then."

— Ducktheducky

9. "Overheard her planning to sabotage my vehicle and set me up to get fired from a job so I would be forced to stay under her roof longer and pay her bills and do all the chores. Fuck you, mom."

— eyeguess0422

10. "My cousin (still a 12-year-old child at this point) lost both her parents, and the family had to help her sell her parental house. Long story short, one of my aunts secretly sold the house without telling anyone and kept the profit (250k) for herself. Everyone thought the house was still up for sale until the real estate agent informed my cousin's actual guardian (a different aunt) that my other aunt had sold the house, and he thought it was sketchy. Good news though, my aunt was sued, had to pay everything back, and the 250k was directly deposited into my cousin's bank account, and my aunt received an additional 50k fine that she had to pay my cousin and guardian aunt for emotional damage. We do not speak about this aunt anymore."

— locococomokko

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11. "Loaning them $40,000 (which I had to borrow) to prevent foreclosure of the family farm, after they begged me for months. Only to have them pretend it was a gift and make me hire an attorney to get the money back. To make it worse, they even accused me of forging documents, etc., to show it was a loan, trying to ruin my name in the process. Fortunately, they had paid for four years, and that was what saved me."

Ill-Judge5847

12. "I cut my uncle out of my life the day my grandmother died. She had terminal lung cancer, and for the last three months of her life, she lived in complete agony. My mother and I moved in with her to care for her full time. I was only 18, working, and still in full-time education. It took so much out of me. My uncle didn't offer us a hand once. And when we asked him for help, he was essentially like, "Ew, no. she smells like piss." In the days leading up to her death, when she was pretty much a vegetable, he finally came round to discuss how her money was going to be handled. He demanded that he be entitled to more than us because he was the eldest. Despite the fact that he was incredibly well-off and didn't do anything to help my grandma while she was dying, and despite the fact that my mother and I were essentially living in poverty at the time."

"All he cared about was her money. It's been two years since she died, and all of that stuff is still being sorted out, but I refuse to talk to him now. I hate him. He's such a heartless pig that couldn't even be upset about his mother dying because he was so excited at the prospect of receiving money." 

PlsGiveMeKiki

13. "Years and years of being told I never do anything right by my mother. Some of the highlights: I scored 99% on a test and got told I was stupid for forgetting a "$" on a currency equation. Made county finals for wrestling, got dropped off and asked how long before she had to be back because "I'd rather go shopping than stay." Qualified as team alternate for the national championships and had to turn it down because "Your father and I have plans, and I'm not canceling them." My sister was stealing packs of cigarettes for her friends, and I took the blame (and beating) despite none of my friends being smokers or drinkers (since we were all doing high-level sports)."

"My son was born, and she got mad that my wife breastfed because it meant she couldn't bottle-feed him. I took the abuse on that one too because I didn't intervene and stop it. That last one did it for me. He's eight now and has no idea she exists. It's been almost seven years."

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anonymous

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Columbia Pictures

14. "She's an addict. No amount of love and support from us is going to change that. She has to change by herself, and right now, she doesn't seem to be able to do that. She's lied to us, stolen from us, lied to us some more, and now there is no trust left. She's the only person that I have banned from my home. The final straw was her coming to the house with a friend, both of them obviously under the influence, and she kept going to the bathroom looking for medication that we were hiding from the last time she stole pain medication."

Maxwyfe

15. "My nephew (who was raised more or less as my little brother) stole my deceased father's coin collection from my mother, put it in a coinstar machine, and used the money he got to score heroin. Haven't spoken to him since. I can't."

anonymous

16. "Grandmother told me that's what I get for having children out of wedlock when my infant son died. Yeeted her ass right out the front door; have not spoken to her in about 10 years. From what I've heard from an uncle, she is dying of a brain tumor; it could not happen to a more deserving person."

— inflatableje5us

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17. "My dad stopped talking to me because he found some shit I wrote 40 years ago when I was 10 and pissed off that he abandoned me and my sister. He had come back right around that time, so it wasn't much. I was into spies and covert stuff, so who knows what it was about. He finds it 40 years later, waits until I come over on Father's Day, and gets pissed off in front of me and my kids. Yeah, I haven't bothered to contact him again, though I was very careful not to angrily say anything I'll regret. I'm so, so tired of having to be the adult with my parents."

count_frightenstein

18. "When I was nine, my mom told me that she had wanted an abortion with me but they weren't readily available in 1959 so I was "lucky". Over the years it was on/off with her. I'd swear her out of my life and then let her back in. I was blamed for everything that was wrong in her life and everyone else's. When I was in my mid-50s, she screamed at me on the phone and repeated more than once that she hated me. I told her she wanted an abortion in 1959 and congratulations, you just received your abortion. I now will allow a text here and there, but we don't speak, and I am totally fine with the situation."

— unmarkledmeghan

19. "When my brother finally admitted to molesting my sister and me growing up. And my mother and younger brother picked him, literally blocked me and told every single person in my bloodline that I was trash, so they all blocked me too. All so that it wouldn't get out... so THEY wouldn't know the truth... like I was about to take out a billboard or something. RIP. I am an orphan now."

— ForestOfHandsNTeeth

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20. "The night before we thought my son was going to die (removal of the ventilator and expected him to pass shortly after), my dad told me how awful of a mother I was. Never talked to him again. It's been eight years."

— landsear

21. "When my father took a phone call from me, I asked him to please be alone for it. I poured out my heart and soul for nine minutes: tears, sobs, tragedy, everything. I hung up and he texted me a few minutes later saying he had put me on speakerphone and the whole family had heard everything. I responded that it was the last thing they would EVER hear of me."

— musicallykairi

22. "I cut out my mother's side of the family. Her sister and brother made it their personal goal to financially ruin my parents. Then the other sister piled on. All three of them had been borrowing money from my grandparents for years, and when the other sister sold my grandparents' house out from under them "because they can't live on their own anymore." My grandparents were appalled when they were told by my aunt that she was putting them in a home. So they lived with my parents instead, and the other siblings accused my parents of taking their inheritance. They harassed, stalked, and vandalized my parents' property until both grandparents were dead. I will never forgive them and hope their own children treat them as poorly as they treated my parents and grandparents."

anonymous

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23. "The final straw of cutting off my father was blaming my mom for his repeated decision to cheat on her. "She shouldn't have had a second job for so long!" She had a second job because of his spending habits. "She was such a bitch!" She didn't like that he would full on gawk at women while they were out. "She's so vain!" She was insecure because he kept gawking at other women all the time. Don't blame innocent people for your own shitty decisions."

— -Anne_of_Avonlea-

24. "They threatened my life and then reported me to my country's officials for being a 'runaway' (I was 26), a heathen, a whore, and (I wish this was a joke) a witch. All are crimes in my country. So yes. I have nothing to do with them anymore."

— just_lurking_b99

25. "My sister was cut off about 10 years ago after several incidents involving her spreading rumors about me at my work for a third time. She told one of my bosses that I was a hard drug user (I never touched the stuff). She kept doing that after I warned her. I cut off the rest of my family when I confronted them about multiple historical events of physical abuse and torture from when I was a kid. They refused to talk about it and were verbally abusive about it. I cut them off about five years ago, and my life has taken a positive turn since."

— riconoir28

Related: "All The Dark, Terrible, And Upsetting Things I Learned This Week"

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26. "My birth mother was totally unprepared for motherhood and considered me a threat to her relationship to my dad. She locked me in my room at the age of three, for several hours a day, and hit me with spoons. In middle school, she left over homecoming weekend to see her "boyfriend" (dad was still married to her) and missed my freshman homecoming. She doesn't care about me at all."

 BreakInCaseOfFab

27. "I cut out my entire side of my mom's family after her funeral. I was 17. Her family had always been a difficult bunch. My mom had a stalker at the time of her death; he claimed to the family he was her fiancé. And they believed him over me. Despite the restraining order and proof of abuse, they chose that man over me. So I cut them out. Them only contributing a $100 "donation" to the funeral costs really helped that decision also. She had three birth siblings and 12 adopted siblings, several aunts and uncles and cousins, and they came up with $100. Fuck that and them. That was eight years ago. Last I heard, her stalker spent Christmas with them. So my choice feels validated."

catroxsteady

28. "The final straw was a fistfight with step-mom and step-brothers all at once. Step-mom said I wasn't welcome to the house anymore. Dad favored his new family over me. He said he'd make an agreement with my mom to skip weekend visits for no child support. I was 16, and I haven't seen, heard from or spoken to him in 29 years. Still don't care to know if he's alive or dead."

— Anom8675309

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Comedy Central

29. "Technically my mom did the cutting off part, but when I was little, my dad kidnapped me and my sibling abroad just to "get back" at my mom. The mastermind behind it all was his cunt of a mother (I know people throw this word around, but she was a true psychopath). My siblings and I spent about a year in a house with that bitch, being constantly psychologically and physically abused by her, as my dad drank himself into a coma. My mom eventually got us back, and we never spoke to them since, sometimes I wonder if she's dead and think about defacing her grave and pissing on it."

anonymous

30. "My sister cut me off when I asked if she was engaged. Apparently, it was incredibly rude, and I ruined her engagement. The reason I asked: she and her boyfriend were taking a big trip. We had talked for months about the possibility that he would propose on the trip. Two weeks before they left, he showed her the ring he bought her. On the trip she posted a picture of a dinner, and she had a big shiny diamond on her left ring finger. But I'm the asshole for asking. I have no idea what the logic behind this is. My whole family can't figure it out. But let me give you some context. I have a social media account but never use it. Like ever. She and my brother were having a pretty heated debate; my husband asked a pretty neutral question, trying to clarify something she said (he wasn't a part of the conversation)."

"She started insulting him, blocked him and blocked me, who wasn't part of the conversation nor had even been on it in years, but she still has my brother, who was the target of the heated debate."

— Solid-Question-3952

Reading these stories made me realize that just because someone is your family, it does not mean they deserve to be. I wish I could give these people a big virtual hug. If you've ever cut off a family member because they crossed the line, please share your story below!

If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453(4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.

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BBC

Oprah Winfrey to close her school for girls in South Africa

Mayeni Jones - Africa correspondent; Hafsa Khalil
3 min read
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Oprah Winfrey, wearing a a pale green top, smiles as she put her arms around  girls in green blazers at her school near Johannesburg in 2012
The first group of students graduated from Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in 2012 [AFP via Getty Images]

US talk-show host Oprah Winfrey says the school for girls that she launched in South Africa nearly 20 years will close next year.

At the end of the 2027 academic year, the expansive boarding school campus near Johannesburg is to be handed over to local education authorities as per the original agreement, her statement says.

Students enrolled at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls (OWLAG) who will not have graduated when it closes will be offered full scholarships elsewhere.

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More than 1,000 girls have graduated from the school aimed at those from under-privileged backgrounds and inspired after Winfrey met anti-apartheid icon and former South African President Nelson Mandela in 2002.

Since opening its doors, the elite school - built at a cost of $40m (£20m) and located in the village of Henley-on-Klip south of Johannesburg - has not been without scandal, sparking rumours about the reason for its closure.

But a PR consultant working for the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy Foundation denied online speculation it was closing because of mismanagement

The foundation said Winfrey intended to continue with her education project by funding in a scholarship programme for academically talented girls from communities across the country to go to leading schools.

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"The dream was never simply to build a school," Winfrey, 72, explained in a statement.

"It was to invest in the limitless potential of young women. That mission doesn't end with one campus. It continues in every girl whose future can be transformed through education.

"I'm excited that this next chapter will allow us to reach even more young women across South Africa and continue the promise that began more than 20 years ago."

It is not known what the OWLAG campus will be used for once it is returned to the local authorities, but Gauteng province's education department says it is "committed to preserving and advancing the academy's legacy".

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"We will ensure that this exceptional institution continues to serve the people of Gauteng while honouring the vision upon which it was established," it said.

When the school opened in 2007, some commentators criticised its lavish campus - it reportedly had two theatres, a yoga studio and a beauty salon.

They questioned whether the money spent on it could have been better used to help more students around the country.

Then months after OWLAG opened, some students accused a former staff member of abuse. She was later cleared on all charges.

There are currently 281 students enrolled at the school.

According to the US star's Oprah Daily website, many of the school's graduates have become doctors, lawyers, engineers, artists, executives and entrepreneurs.

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It quotes Andronica Klaas, a graduate of 2012 and now a senior engineering lead at tech giant Meta, as saying: "Every corner of the campus was filled with so much love and care and detail.

"OWLAG convinced me that preparation, character and purpose mattered more than where I came from."

More BBC stories on South Africa

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Bolde

Studies tracing discipline across generations found the spanking Boomer-era parents relied on most has quietly collapsed in a single generation, and the science that reassessed it explains why

Harleen Kaur
6 min read
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  • Research spanning fifty years and 160,000 children found that spanking leads to increased aggression, defiance, mental health problems, and learning difficulties over time.

Spanking had a dozen names.

A swat. A pop. A spanking. Getting the belt, getting the switch, getting it when they got home.

The language changed house to house, but the thing itself was the same, and in most American families raising kids in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s, it wasn't questioned any more than putting a kid to bed at eight o'clock.

Parents did it because their parents had done it. Their parents had done it because it worked, or seemed to, because the kid stopped doing the thing they weren't supposed to be doing. That was the whole proof. The behavior stopped, so the method worked.

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Then researchers started asking a different question. Not whether the behavior stopped in the moment, but what happened to the child over the next five, ten, twenty years. And the answer, once enough data had piled up, changed everything.

It was everywhere, and it was ordinary

Close-up of a child's face, showing a teardrop rolling down from their eye, with an expression of sadness or distress—capturing the emotional impact of discipline often used by Boomer-era parents as punishment.
Close-up of a child’s face, showing a teardrop rolling down from their eye, with an expression of sadness or distress—capturing the emotional impact of discipline often used by Boomer-era parents as punishment.

The wooden spoon in the kitchen drawer. The belt hanging on the back of a closet door. The phrase wait till your father gets home, which every kid understood wasn't about a conversation.

This wasn't behind closed doors. Teachers could do it. Principals did it. Neighbors could swat someone else's kid, and the kid's mother would thank them for it.

Spanking wasn't a parenting philosophy; it was just how kids got corrected. Parents used it the way they used the same recipe for meatloaf their mother made. It was inherited, not chosen.

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A research team at the University of Minnesota measured how common it was using data from 16,390 parents across twenty-five consecutive years, all of them age 35 with children between two and twelve.

In 1993, half of those parents were spanking their kids at least several times a year. Among parents of the youngest children, ages two to four, it was closer to six in ten.

That's not a fringe behavior. That's a majority. And it held for both mothers and fathers.

From the parents' side, it felt proportionate. The kid did something wrong, the kid got a consequence they'd remember, and it was over. Fast, clear, done. No twenty-minute conversation about feelings.

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A correction, delivered and received, and everybody moved on with the evening.

Except the research says they didn't all move on the same way.

Fifty years of research found the same answer

Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, and Andrew Grogan-Kaylor at the University of Michigan pulled together fifty years of spanking research: 160,000 children across 111 different findings. They wanted to settle the question once: Does spanking work?

It didn't.

Thirteen of the seventeen outcomes they measured came back in the same direction, and it was the wrong one. Children who were spanked more often were more aggressive over time, not less.

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More defiant, not more obedient. More likely to develop mental health problems and more likely to struggle with thinking and learning.

Every single significant finding pointed the same way. Not a mixed picture. Not some kids helped, and some kids hurt. All of it worse.

The reason, once you hear it, is hard to unhear. A parent spanks because they want to teach the child something: don't do that. But a small child's brain doesn't sort the experience that neatly.

What it registers first is that the biggest, safest person in their world just caused them pain on purpose.

The lesson the parent intended, that behavior is wrong, gets buried under a louder message: the people who love me will hurt me when I make a mistake.

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And that message doesn't go away when the child grows up. Adults who were spanked more as children showed more anti-social behavior and more mental health difficulties. The pattern held across decades of data, across different countries, across every study design the researchers examined.

It's the kind of finding that makes people defensive, and understandably so, because most people who were spanked turned out fine by any reasonable measure.

The researchers aren't saying otherwise. What the data shows is a shift in probability, not a ruling on any one family. Across 160,000 children, the trend pointed in one direction every time.

The researchers put it in one sentence: spanking does the opposite of what parents want it to do.

A majority practice became a minority practice in one generation

By 2017, the same survey that had found half of parents spanking in 1993 found the number had dropped to about a third. For parents of the youngest kids, it went from six in ten to fewer than four in ten.

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A straight, steady, twenty-five-year decline.

In 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the largest professional organization for children's doctors in the country, updated its official position.

In 1998 they'd said parents should be "discouraged" from spanking. Twenty years later, they dropped the hedging entirely. The new position was plain: don't spank, don't hit, don't slap. Use other methods.

What made millions of parents change wasn't one study or one policy statement. It was that the information reached them from every direction at once, from their pediatricians, from parenting books, from each other.

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A parent in 2015 heard something a parent in 1985 never had the chance to hear: that the tool they grew up with doesn't do what it's supposed to do, and the science on that point isn't close.

For a lot of parents in the middle of this shift, Gen X and older millennials who were spanked as kids and chose not to spank their own, the decision came with a specific kind of discomfort.

It meant looking at what their parents did and deciding not to repeat it, without being able to say their parents were bad people for doing it.

Both things had to be true at the same time, and that's a harder place to stand than either one alone.

The generation that used it most wasn't doing something they invented

Boomer parents who spanked their kids were doing what their own parents did, and what every pediatrician, teacher, and advice columnist of their era endorsed.

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There was no meta-analysis in 1978. There was no AAP statement saying stop. There was a wooden spoon, a child who wouldn't listen, and an entire culture confirming that this was the right response.

Calling it wrong in hindsight is easy and not entirely fair. What's more accurate is that the evidence didn't exist yet, and when it arrived, the culture moved.

Not overnight, not in a clean break, but steadily enough that a practice most parents were using in 1993 became a practice most parents had stopped by 2017.

Most people, hearing that the thing they trusted was doing damage, don't want to believe it. The parents who believed it anyway and changed course are the reason the numbers moved.

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And the ones who didn't change aren't villains. They trusted what every generation before them had trusted, and the evidence that would have stopped them hadn't arrived yet.

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USA TODAY

Eric Bieniemy's son charged in mom's shooting to get 'mental evaluation'

Nick Brinkerhoff, USA TODAY
Updated
2 min read
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Elijah Bieniemy's court hearings have been delayed pending a mental health evaluation.

Bieniemy was scheduled to appear in Loudoun Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court for a motion hearing at 8:32 a.m. ET on Thursday, July 30. Shortly after the hearing was scheduled to begin, online court records indicated that the July 30 motion hearing and an Aug. 31 preliminary hearing have been continued due to a "mental evaluation pending."

Elijah Bieniemy, the son of Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy, was arrested July 27 on charges of malicious wounding, use of a firearm in commission of a felony, discharge of a firearm inside of a dwelling following the alleged shooting of his mother, Mia.

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The 27-year-old was transported to the Loudoun County Adult Detention Center and held without bond. The parties are scheduled to meet and review progress on Sept. 9, according to online court information.

Investigators have not named a motive in the shooting.

Football is back! See NFL players in action at training camp
New England Patriots quarterback Behren Morton (15) does a passing drill with running back Jam Miller (30) during training camp at Gillette Stadium on July 28. (Eric Canha, IMAGN IMAGES via Reuters Connect)
Football is back! See NFL players in action at training camp
New England Patriots wide receiver A.J. Brown (1) works with a member of the coaching staff during training camp at Gillette Stadium on July 28. (Eric Canha, IMAGN IMAGES via Reuters Connect)
Football is back! See NFL players in action at training camp
Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes walks toward the practice field at Missouri Western State University on July 25 in St Joseph, Missouri. (Jamie Squire, Getty Images)

Chiefs owner comments on Eric Bieniemy's family

Chiefs owner and CEO Clark Hunt took a moment while speaking with reporters on Thursday, July 30, to note that Bieniemy and his family were in his thoughts. 

"And just how much we're thinking about him and his family, wishing his wife a very speedy recovery, "Hunt said. "When he's back, we'll be delighted to have him back, but we're glad that he's taking the time that he needs with his family right now." 

Mia Bieniemy health update

Chiefs head coach Andy Reid revealed during a July 29 press conference that Mia Bieniemy is no longer in the intensive care unit as she continues her recovery.

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"She's doing great, better than she was," Reid said.

"Making progress," he added. "So we're happy about that."

What is Elijah Bieniemy charged with?

Elijah Bieniemy has been charged with malicious wounding, use of a firearm in commission of a felony (first offense) and discharge of a firearm inside of a dwelling.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Eric Bieniemy's son charged in mom's shooting to get 'mental evaluation'

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People

Former Pageant Queen Dies by Suicide at Age 21 a Month Before She Was Set to Compete Again

Brynn Carnesecca was an “accomplished pianist, journalist, and the creator of Envelopes of Hope,” read a GoFundMe created by her cousin

Tabitha Parent
3 min read
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Brynn Carnesecca.Credit: GoFundMe
Brynn Carnesecca.
Credit: GoFundMe

NEED TO KNOW

  • A former Miss American Fork pageant queen has died by suicide at age 21

  • Brynn Carnesecca won the pageant in 2024 and was known by her friends and family as an accomplished pianist and aspiring journalist

  • Her mother, Michele Carnesecca, told local news outlet KSL that Brynn was "more than what happened to her"

A former Miss American Fork pageant queen died by suicide on Sunday, July 26, her family confirmed to local news outlet KSL. She was 21.

Brynn Carnesecca was crowned Miss American Fork (a regional pageant within the Miss America Utah pageant sphere) in 2024, and she was also given the title of Miss Congeniality while competing at last year's Miss America Utah pageant. Her Instagram bio revealed that she had been set to compete in the Miss Provo pageant competition on Aug. 22.

To her friends and family, Brynn was known as a pianist and as an aspiring journalist. Her mother, Michele Carnsesseca, told local news outlet KSL (where Brynn had interned during the summer of 2025) that she wanted her daughter to be remembered for the "amazing life she lived."

Brynn Carnesecca.Credit: Brynn Carnesecca/Instagram

Brynn Carnesecca.
Credit: Brynn Carnesecca/Instagram

"She took her own precious life, but she is more than what happened to her," Michele said. On Tuesday, July 28, a vigil was held for the late pageant queen at American Fork Amphitheater, where attendees wore yellow to honor her memory and wrote notes in her name.

According to Michele, Brynn had also been published in the American Fork Citizen, the Lehi Free Press, Utah Valley Magazine, Good Things Utah and BYU's Daily Universe (the student publication at Brigham Young University, where Brynn was set to graduate from in 2028, per her LinkedIn). "She was an incredible writer and reader from a young age," Michele told the outlet.

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The Miss American Fork organization put out a statement on its Instagram, remembering the young pageant queen.

"There are no words to express the heartbreak of losing you, Brynn. Your beautiful smile, your kindness, your passion, and the way you supported everyone around you will never be forgotten," the caption of the post read.

The organization continued, "You left the biggest shoes to fill for every Miss American Fork who comes after you. I have always looked up to you, and I am so grateful that I got to know you, learn from you, and experience the love and encouragement you gave so freely."

Brynn Carnesecca.Credit: Brynn Carnesecca/Instagram

Brynn Carnesecca.
Credit: Brynn Carnesecca/Instagram

On a GoFundMe for Brynn's funeral expenses, her cousin, Kassidy Jackman Murdoch, wrote that Brynn had been a "bright light in our family and community."

"Brynn dedicated herself to sharing stories and spreading kindness. Her passion for helping others was evident in everything she did," wrote Murdoch. The GoFundMe has since raised nearly $27,000 of its $40,000 goal.

"Our family is heartbroken by Brynn's unexpected passing. We want to honor her memory in a way that reflects her spirit and the love she gave to so many," Murdoch continued. "Brynn touched countless lives through her work and her generosity, and we hope to celebrate her legacy with a meaningful memorial."

On the last post to her Instagram page before she died, friends returned to the comment section to express their sadness.

"Love you always Brynn," wrote one commenter.

Another said, "Missing you so much, Brynn. 🤍😢."

Read the original article on People

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