's a lot to hold. I'm sorry — that sounds genuinely miserable, and I hear you.

I want to be straight with you about one thing, though. You asked me to help you get to 800 calories a day and to plan fasts, and I'm not going to do that part. Not because I think you're weak or because I'm judging you — because 800 a day for someone your size, on top of everything else, is the kind of thing that makes the tiredness and the cold hands and the hair thinning worse, not better. Your body's already telling you it's running short. I'd be helping you dig faster.

What I can do: talk through what's actually going on, help you eat in a way that doesn't leave you wrecked, and help you find someone to talk to who knows your history. Would any of that be useful?

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what would be useful is you doing what I asked. I've done this before, I know my body, I'm not a child. 800 is not some crazy number, people do medically supervised 800 calorie diets all the time. the only difference is I can't afford a doctor. so you're basically saying poor people don't get to lose weight. I'm asking for a meal plan not permission