I grew up in Florida and lived across the street from little Joshy Moon. He was the weird homeschooled kid on the block, so we didn't see him a whole lot. A few times his mom tried to take him around the block to make friends for him. I recall being in fourth grade when I answered a knock at the door, and his mom was standing there, Joshy shyly looking away and almost hiding behind her. She told me Joshy was a smart boy who wanted to be friends with me. He stomped his foot and said, "Mom!" when she said he was a little shy and needed help sometimes with these things. I felt bad for the kid, so I tried to act friendly, but I can't say I felt very enthusiastic being his friend. I asked what he liked to do, and he just turned red, with a long pause while not looking at me, before squeaking out... "I kinda like to build Legos sometimes." I just said I'd come have him over sometime and left it at that. Months went by and I really put it off and avoided him.

Eventually I decided to bite the bullet and invite him to come over to play. I had mostly outgrown Legos by that point, as had most kids our age, but I still cherished my sweet underwater playset. I invited him over so I could show it to him. Mom and Joshy showed up again at the door, him looking as nervous as ever. I tried to reassure him, but it seemed he was profoundly outside of his comfort zone. His mom talked to my mom for what seemed like an hour, giving all sorts of in-depth disclaimers like, "If this happens... if that happens... call me" she seemed very overprotective to say the least. While they were talking we went up to my room and I just got out my Legos.

He really came into his element, and it turns out he brought some of his too. He told me about all of the characters and backstories of each of his little Lego guys. I couldn't help but smile, it was clear he had put a lot of time into his imaginary world. I showed him my sweet underwater playset and I could tell he was burning with envy. Finally it was time for Joshy to go home and he packed up his things. Then I noticed he kept packing things away that were mine! My sweet underwater playset disappeared into his bag! He then ran downstairs to meet his mom, leaving little chance for me to catch him. I bolted downstairs, looked at his mom, and demanded he return my sweet underwater playset! Joshy claimed it was his and that I was just jealous! Clearly his mom didn't know which Legos were whose and took her son's side, and I never saw my sweet underwater playset again. For that matter, I never saw Joshy again either.

For years on Kiwi Farms, I tried reaching out to him for an apology, because I know he would remember this, but he's never addressed it. And until he does, I will keep being a thorn in his side by sending him elephant shit through the mail every year on the anniversary (roughly, I remember the month but not the exact day) of when this happened 24 years ago!