r/AITApod

we now have flair

Quick background on how I was raised.

Money had always been a problem in our family and my mom has spending tendencies. She has a lot, and I mean alot of debt due to that and all her debt is kept away from my father's knowledge.

Every month my father would give my mom monthly allowance (around 10-20k) per month depending how much she demands but that money would just evaporate within a week so she usually use me and guilt trips me into asking for more money from my dad.

Because of that I learned that money controls my mom's mood, and that she's also very unreliable with money.

Back to present, my brother needed to go through multiple hospital tests idk why and my mom asked me 500 since I already have a side hustle, after a week I gave her that 500 but she found out I had 3k saved up and instead of accepting 500 she demanded I let her borrow 2.5k. Ofcourse I didn't immediately gave her the money, I asked multiple of my friends if I should let her borrow and majority of them said no.

Yesterday we had a fight because she read my messages and I apparently made her look unreliable with money and that she told me the reason we were in debt was because of me and my other 2 siblings. I had no choice but to give her the money yesterday.

Even now I'm still debating if I was wrong for doubting her, I've always been raised to give without question to family members who are in need but it's my hard earned money, shouldn't I have the choice to give it or not?

I (22F) got scammed over 140€ on an online reselling platform. I was really devastated, because I decided to trust that seller and he misused it. I set myself the limit of 40€ to spend on getting new tickets, as long as they would meet up in person. A woman agreed to the price, but couldn’t meet up because of her attending a wedding. We both wished each other a good time, but stepped away from the deal. Then, she texted me that she can’t attend anyway and just sent me the ticket for free. I didn’t ask her to do that for me, so she did it on her own terms without expecting payment. Now I would be happy to make up some of the lost money by not paying her anything, but I feel ungrateful in doing so. Should I send her the 40€ at least?

I have some lifelong friends I've known since 2018. They are female and all the same age as me(F 24). I know life has its ways, and everyone is on a different path. I feel like ever since my life started to progress, I've felt more distant from them. They all seem to be job-hoppers and don't want to finish school or have any plans for the future. Not that I am judging them because I know sh*t happens and things don't always go as planned when we are working while in school. I was the same at one point, but I tried to think of backup plans and what to do. But what I've noticed if one girl takes a break from school, the other one takes a break. They also work part-time together, so if one quits and starts at a new place, the other will do the same to work with them. They are all into the party scene/drinking a lot. Again, I am not judging them for their choices, but usually that is what their hangouts consist of when I am not around.

I often see them make plans together without me, post pics on social media, have group chats without me, etc. They sometimes won't even respond to my messages. I started to notice this pattern around 2022, and it still happens, although I pretend not to notice it. I am always initiating plans, and when we do meet, they are late or ask if their bfs can come. Whenever we do make plans to meet, they always come later than me. The last two times we hung out this year, they were late. The first hangout (Feb 2026), they were an hour late; the second hangout (March 2026), they were 30 minutes late. I didn't even say anything about it; I kept my cool the entire time. Idc if they are running late or want their bf to come, but it's the fact that they'll tell me when it is time to meet, that they are late, or they want their bf to come.

I really do try to be understanding because everyone's life circumstances are different. Ever since I went to grad school(2024-2025), moved cities(around 2026), and got a full-time job, things feel more distant. I don't really have any other girlfriends, so I don't want to let them go, especially when we were super close during 2018-2023. But at the same time, I'm on a different path from them now, and I'm not happy with our friendship.

Are my feelings valid?

( how should I approach this ) Soo me and this guys have been talking ( we’re each other first since middle school) but we’re just now rekindling. Idk if I’m being picky or what , but everytime we go out it’s like he doesn’t have money to spend . not just on me but to do things . Here’s the twist , he’ll run his tab and ask me to pay for it and he’ll cash app me later . He’s been pretty consistent on the loans but yk me it’s like when is my turn to lean on him? As of now he still hasn’t sent the $25 back but it’s not that much if so I don’t mind ? I come from a pretty wealthy home and I’m the only kid which he knows but I hate that people look at that as if it’s my money. It’s not it belongs to my parents I’m not entitled to any of it tbh and I make my own money anyways. People see that and immediately think I have money to splurge . Also, I’ve told him I don’t want to date yet ( my baby’s 7 months old ) so I’m constantly busy with college , work and my son . he never tried to plan anything like I’ve asked him to. everytime we go do something it’s coming from my thoughts and decisions because he won’t pick anythingggg. He’ll want to hang out at 11pm or 12am on a business day which is crazy knowing I have a child . Then some times I feel like he guilt trips me on how I’m not available to hang out…. Sir I’m busy af!!! Plus we’re not even bf and gf yet. He always wants to be affectionate and cuddly but it’s not me , I’m still coming down for from ppd and I’ve told him but I’m starting to think he thinks it’s a joke. idk if I’m being too harsh or what tbh

My sister is getting married next month and asked me to send her every voice message I still have from our grandma, who passed away two years ago. I assumed she just wanted to listen to them, but she told me she hired someone to edit parts of the recordings together so it sounds like grandma is giving a speech at the wedding.

The problem is most of those messages were sent to me privately when I was going through a really rough time. Some include personal stuff about my relationship, money problems and how proud she was that I made enough from Ѕtake to move out. My sister says they can remove anything too specific and only use the sweet parts, but it still feels wrong hearing grandma’s words rearranged into sentences she never actually said.

I told her she could use the few normal birthday messages she already has, but I’m not giving her the private ones. She got really upset and said I’m treating grandma like she belonged only to me and taking away the closest thing she can have to grandma being at her wedding.

My parents think I should just hand them over because it would mean a lot to her and nobody at the wedding would know where the recordings came from. I still feel like grandma trusted me with those messages though.

AITA?

I was at a bar/restaurant with my team for a rec league sport I play. There was I think 7 of us there. Originally there was me and one other person waiting for drinks at the bar. A waitress approached us and said we can open the tab with her and avoid the bar line (which was a little long) but damn i should have waited.

The drinks took very long. Probably 15-20 minutes. Mine was made incorrectly but I didn’t want to make a fuss. Ordered another round and it was still incorrect. Whatever. We ended up meeting up with the rest of the team. We ordered food and drinks. I personally ordered a cheese pizza for the table since we have a 2 vegetarians in the group. Plan was for pizza to be taken to go to the next bar for karaoke. So we all close our tabs.

This is when I find out the entire group was put on my card because other people tried to pay and she explained it all went on my tab. I asked to split it. She said she can’t (I talked to a restaurant owner I know and she said that was BS) but she can print an itemized receipt and everyone can Venmo me.

This was my first bit of sass. I said “okay, I’ll do your job for you so I guess print me the receipt.”

Then the pizza comes.

It’s a deep dish meat lovers. I’m already pissed about the tab but I accept the pizza. Then I think to myself wait then the vegetarians are screwed. I go and tell her this pizza isn’t right. She starts arguing with me insisting it’s what I ordered. I told her it’s not and I’m not sure why she’s trying to defend her fuck up.

Manager comes after she gets him. She goes to tell him privately for awhile. Manager comes up to me without her and asks what I ordered. I say large thin crust cheese.

I got sassy one more time. I told the manager that she was honestly brutal all night. The wait times. The wrong drinks. The tab mishap. Finally the pizza.

AITA or a Karen

I frequent a larger amusement park a couple times per week. When I park (or when I need a break), I sit and enjoy a few hits off a joint in the car. I enjoy the peace and quiet for 15mins.

The problem is the passer byes looking for a spot. They see me in the windshield, and start trying to communicate with their hands, to ask if I’m leaving. Sometimes they yell. Sometimes they’ll even get out to knock on my window. One would think I’d just wave them on, but it gets old considering it happens every 20 seconds. I’ve started ignoring it all together, which visually frustrates everyone.

I just want to sit in my car and relax without playing full time traffic duty. AITAH for just ignoring everyone at this point? Any suggestions?

A husband's coworker is a very good-looking guy—the bad-boy type: all tatted up, nice dark tan, 6'3", rides a motorcycle, and has a player reputation.

One day, he comes home with the husband, and the husband stupidly says, "Yeah, go for a ride on the bike." He trusts his wife like a good husband. Well, shocker—she ends up making out with him.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The husband lets it go because he's pretty laid back. Then his wife arranges for the hot guy to come over, but she gets her hot best friend to distract and keep the husband away from the back deck. They turn the music on, all the interior house lights are on, and all the deck lights are off.

After about 20 minutes of the hot best friend throwing herself at the husband, he heads toward the kitchen window to see where his wife is. The friend starts asking about his boots and other random stuff. When he goes to look out the window, she grabs his face and starts kissing him.

Shortly afterward, he goes out onto the deck just as his wife and the coworker are coming back inside. Even after 15 years, she claims they only talked and that her only intention was to tell the coworker she had told her husband about the first interaction.

The husband doesn't buy it at all. He just wants her to take accountability and stop gaslighting him over it so he can let it go and begin rebuilding the trust that was lost.

Is he the asshole for asking for accountability? What's your opinion?

I (33M) have been overweight basically my entire life. At my heaviest I was around 290 lbs. A few years ago I moved away from my small hometown, and between walking everywhere, being broke enough that I sometimes skipped meals, and eventually getting serious about meal prep and exercise, I’ve lost about 60lbs. Lately I’ve been putting even more effort into building healthier habits.

Over the Fourth of July I went back home and met up with a group of old friends. A few of them had also lost a ton of weight, like 60-80 lbs. I was genuinely excited for them and we started talking about what we’d all been doing.I talked about meal prep, counting calories, and exercising. They all looked at me like I’d forgotten something. Turns out every single one of them had been using GLP1 medications.

Personally, they’re just not something I want to take. I’m worried about the long-term effects, the cost, and I’d rather learn sustainable eating and exercise habits myself instead of relying on medication. I referred to that as wanting to do it “the natural way.”

That’s where things went sideways, one friend, Mary (33F), immediately got defensive. She said calling it “the natural way” implied people using GLP1s were cheating or doing it the wrong way. She pointed out that she’s still careful about what she eats, still exercises, and still has to put in the work.

I told her I wasn’t judging anyone. I was only explaining why I didn’t want to take them. I said I wanted to understand nutrition and build habits I could maintain without medication.

I also said that from my perspective it sounded like she still had to diet and exercise and spend around $1,200 a month on medication. That did not go over well.

Mary said not everyone has the luxury of spending hours meal prepping and exercising while working full time and raising kids.

I’ll admit this is probably where I became the asshole.

I rolled my eyes.

The conversation immediately turned against me. Mary then told me that despite all my hard work I was still around 250 lbs., had plateaued, and that my “high and mighty attitude” clearly wasn’t working. She said eventually I’d cave and end up taking GLP1s too.

I told her I wouldn’t. The night stayed awkward after that.

The next day she texted me saying she’d talked to her doctor, who “agreed with her” and that she could get me my first month of injections for free.

I just replied “No thanks.”

Then another friend, who’s admittedly a bit of a pot stirrer, told me Mary joked in their group chat that I was “a fatphobic fat person” and that “the skinny crew doesn’t want you anyway.”I never saw screenshots, so I don’t know if that part is true.

Looking back, I can see how saying “the natural way” might have come across as judgmental even though I meant it as a personal preference. But I also feel like everyone immediately assumed I was criticizing them when I wasn’t

So I’ve been dating this guy and we work for the same company and sit nearby. Dumb I know…it started organic as a 2 yr friendship and non stop flirting until we both just went forward with it and started dating. It’s often awkward at work between us now and I’ve had to tweak things quite a bit to get us on the same page with communication. Other red flags were him telling me he doesn’t typically date BW (I’m a BW) and his constant negative talk about his child’s mother (we’re both single parents) I solely care for my children and never speak about the other parent because I don’t have a co parenting arrangement like him. I have no drama. He flirts with our coworker friend sometimes in front of me and despite him always saying how locked in he is with us I’m starting to feel like a placeholder. I’ve had this talk several times and he won’t agree. AITA if I ghost him and act like this never happened at work?

So I am going into my junior year of high school and my moms best friend asked me if I would watch her 5 year old daughter who we will call B over the summer for 3 days a week. She said she would pay me $18 an hour which has been coming out to about $128 a day, so I said sure and because usually alone B is a good child.

However, her older sister who is 9 and we will call S is the more misbehaved child and causes many issues as in picking fights and just overall antagonizing B. I was told this would not be a problem as S was going to be going elsewhere for the 3 days I watch B, but upon hearing I would be there she told her mom she did not want to leave and without telling me her mom left me with both. This has been going on for about a month now and it is starting to become unbearable with all of the fighting and I don’t know how much longer I can handle it.

I also take summer classes for school so I can graduate with my associates degree and due to how needy S is with attention I have been having to push my work back and the quality is decreasing. I talked to my mom and told her I didn’t want to do it anymore and she told me that I would have to tell her friend and that she thought it wasn’t a good idea because the money isn’t bad. This was also my opinion at first but now I just don’t know how much more I can take. I am contemplating telling their mom Thursday which is my last day watching them this week that I am done and I can’t do it anymore, so she has time to figure out what to do with them. I feel it is important to note I do inform my moms friend of their behavior and she does yell at them, but nothing is changing and she has told me if it becomes to much to let her know.

I just feel bad quitting and I also like having my own money, but at this point I don’t know if it is worth it. So, please tell me would I be an asshole if I quit and should I quit? Please feel free to ask any additional questions I just need help.

My last note is my mom doesn’t want me to quit because she said I need to finish what I started but I this rate I don’t even think it’s worth it.

Edit:
Because my mom doesn’t want me to quit she also said if I finish the summer I won’t have to get a job next summer and she’ll pay me $200-$300 a week for gas money and stuff as long as I watch my little brother as needed.

UPDATE:
Thank you everyone for the feedback offered. To clear one main thing up no I am not getting paid more, despite the extra child. I have decided to quit and will be putting in my resignation tomorrow telling their mom I can do next week and the week after that I was off anyway, so this gives her 2 weeks to plan accordingly. I was originally going to stick it out for the money but it’s honestly not even worth it and I’m tired of screaming children.

I (21M) told my mom I don't love her the way I love the woman who actually raised me, and now my parents want me out of the house and may cut me out of their wills.

My parents are both professors with advances careers. My mom always said she preferred providing financially rather than doing the day to day work of raising children, so they hired a live in nanny when my oldest sister was born. She's been with us my entire life.

She changed my diapers, fed me, took me to judo and Muay Thai, cooked, cleaned, comforted me, and was the person I went to for everything. I see her as my mom. I'm also very close to her three sons, who feel like brothers.

I don't hate my biological mom. I appreciate everything she provided financially. But because she was mostly absent while I was growing up, I never formed an emotional bond with her. Being affectionate with her has always felt like interacting with a stranger. I feel nothing towards no feelings at all.

My dad was different. He made time for me, came to my competitions, took me fishing and camping, and encouraged my interests. We're genuinely close.

When I turned 18, my mom started trying to build a relationship with me, but I wasn't interested. Last week, at a family gathering, she asked me to be completely honest about why we weren't close.

I told her I consider our nanny my real mom. I said I don't resent her, but I simply don't have any love for her because we never built that relationship when I was a child. I thanked her for everything she provided but said I couldn't force emotions that don't exist. I told her I genuinely feel nothing when I see her face

She cried. My sisters called me misogynistic and said I was punishing a woman for having a career. My dad was furious, saying I'd deeply disrespected my mom. Now they're talking about making me move out and removing me from their wills.

My view is that it's their money and their decision. I don't think anyone owes me an inheritance. I answered honestly because she asked me to, and I accept whatever consequences come with that.

AITA

My grandma passed away last year and left me her handwritten recipe book. It’s nothing fancy, just an old binder full of stained pages and little notes she added over the years. My cousin asked to borrow it because she wanted to make a few of the recipes, and I said yes as long as she gave it back that weekend.

Three weeks passed and she kept making excuses. Then I found out she was hosting a paid dinner at her house using Grandma’s recipes and had even printed little menus calling them her family originals.

I went over a few hours before the dinner and asked for the binder back. She refused because she still needed it to finish one of the desserts, so I took it off the counter and left. She had to improvise the recipe and apparently the dessert came out badly, which she says embarrassed her in front of everyone. I offered to pay for the ingredients she wasted with money I won on Ѕtake, but she said that wasn’t the point.

Now half my family thinks I embarrassed her on purpose and should have waited until after the dinner. I feel like she had plenty of chances to return something that never belonged to her. AITA?

My aunt called me about baby stuff my cousin's daughter had outgrown since we are about to have a baby. I am very grateful they are giving us so much equipment and clothing and have expressed that. She mentioned them getting the walker out of storage and I said no need because we won't be using one, and she asked me why. So literally *all* I said was "I read online they aren't good for their physical development." I didn't go into detail or pass any judgements on what they chose to do. I didn't even say that I researched it or anything, I just said I had seen it online.

My cousin who I am not very close with has a following on Instagram and made a video about "mom-shaming" that was very obviously about me. My sister messaged her and confirmed, I do wish she hadn't, and my cousin said that I should be the one messaging her and apologizing. I did message her and said maybe some wires got crossed and I wasn't judging them at all, just that we were doing something different and had only said one sentence about it to her mom. Then my cousin sceeenshotted it and posted it to her stories and typed up a long post about people not being a village. And she said she's going to give the stuff to someone else unless I apologize.

I don't care about the stuff, I don't want it now, but I also don't want to apologize and don't think I should. I didn't do anything? My Mom thinks it's going to be awkward with family get togethers (they have a cruise at the end of August I obviously won't be on) and I should just apologize.

AITA?

I (22M) have a sister (19F). For context, our parents are religious immigrants and have always been loving and supportive. My sister and I both love them, and they've sacrificed a lot for us.

The biggest difference in how they treat us is our freedom.

My parents have no problem with me staying out late or sleeping at friends' houses or university dorms, as long as I tell them where I am. They trust me because I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or sleep around. I mostly keep to myself and have a good group of friends.

My sister isn't allowed to do those things because she's a girl. My parents say they're worried about her safety. She's 5'1" and about 120 lbs, while I'm 6'5", 230 lbs, have a black belt in judo, over 200 wrestling matches, and 18 amateur Muay Thai fights.

Even with that, I've still had multiple dangerous encounters just walking home. I've been threatened, gotten into fights with drunk or high people, and once fought off people trying to mug me. I was slashed in the face and now have a permanent scar on my cheek. I avoid trouble whenever I can, but sometimes it finds you anyway.

My sister thinks the different rules are unfair, and so do some of her friends. I understand why she feels that way.

On the other hand, there are also expectations placed on me because I'm a man. Since I turned 18, I've been expected to contribute $500–600 a month to the household. My sister has never been expected to do that. I'm currently in my first year studying math, so I can't contribute right now, but after I graduate I fully intend to help support my parents financially for the rest of their lives. I don't resent that expectation.

I told my sister that if she wants complete freedom, she can move out once she's financially able, even though our parents would strongly disapprove. At that point, she'd be free to make her own decisions. I also told her that while she doesn't have to follow our parents' rules forever, some of their concerns about safety are real.

For what it's worth, I love my little sister and spoil her whenever I can. She doesn't resent me personally; she's frustrated by the different standards.

AITAH for thinking my parents' rules are more about safety and traditional gender roles than simply favoritism or sexism?

I have two cousins, Julie (16) and Kendall (29), who are sisters. They’ve always had a distant relationship. Julie often comes to me upset because she doesn’t understand why Kendall keeps her at arm’s length despite obviously caring about her.

For years, Julie would ask me why Kendall acted in certain ways that were hard to read. She even wondered if Kendall had been adopted because she was so different.

The truth is that they have different fathers. Growing up, their mom constantly compared Kendall to her abusive biological father and openly favored Julie. Julie never knew they had different dads because her mom chose not to tell her.

One day Julie was again telling me how badly she wished she could just understand Kendall and why they struggled to bond. Knowing the lore (every sibling in all our families are half siblings and everybody knows), I felt like she was missing a huge psyche understanding, that was getting in the way of their bond. I also have a different father than my sister, so I understand how isolating that can feel for Kendall, and why she keeps a distance from her family.

I ended up telling Julie the truth. She immediately started crying and said everything finally clicked. She said she understood Kendall much better, stopped taking some instances personally, and wanted to make more of an effort to build a better relationship with her.

My mom found out and told me it wasn’t my place to reveal something Julie’s parents had intentionally wanted to keep from her. She said I overstepped and should have stayed out of it.

I understand that it wasn’t my secret to tell, but I also felt wrong watching Julie blame herself for years when one piece of information completely changed her perspective.

AITAH for telling her the truth?

I (25 F) and my partner Cleo (26 MTF) got married five years ago. And yes I know we were young but we grew up religious and that’s just how things went in our church.
Despite getting married so young, we managed to create a life of our own, each come out as queer in our own way and deconstruct the religion we both grew up in.

For some background. Back in 2023, me, my best friend, & Cleo went to the AITApod live show in LA that you put on, Cleo came out to me via text (which is absolutely bonkers to do at a show with other people but I digress). I was surprised. A little frustrated. But I kept it together, I was supportive. I told them I loved them and we’d talk more about it when we were home and it was just us.

After the show, we chatted a little about how they’ve felt like this for a long time and were hoping we could grow together as they figured this all out. Both started going to personal & couples therapy. We even created a shared note in the notes app to give updates and talk about the little wins. BUT as time went on they kept leaving me out of big decisions like coming out to our parents, starting hormones and most recently getting bottom surgery.

And before the keyboard warriors come after me YES I know this isn’t about me. I’ve tried to be supportive this entire time and been with them every step of the way. Even figuring out finances when they were fired from their job over their gender identity. But is a lot & I’m entitled to my feelings.

Now in 2026, it’s been three years since they came out and our relationship has devolved into more of a partnership than a relationship. We haven’t had sex once in those three years. It feels like we’re just platonic partners, not married or in a relationship in any way. I’m happy to be emotional support because I love them but this is so hard.

Realistically though, I don’t think attracted to them anymore. I think I knew it when they came out at your show that this wasn’t what I wanted. I just ignored that gut feeling though because this wasn’t my person and I thought we would figure it out eventually. But the three years that have gone by since that show and it feels like we’re barely married anymore. With them suddenly springing this surgery on me I’ve realized that this isn’t what I want.

So all that to say, AITA if I asked my trans partner for a divorce after they brought up bottom surgery?

I’m 22, and I feel really overwhelmed and conflicted about a long-term friendship from school. After going through a depressive period, I realized our relationship was entirely one-sided: he only reached out when it was convenient for him and was never there when I needed him. We had a serious argument about this and drifted apart. ​Recently, he texted me out of the blue—not to check on me, but to ask if he could park his motorcycle at my apartment. Replying felt exhausting, and he just ignored me afterward anyway. A few days ago, he messaged me again. I simply didn't have the mental energy to deal with him, so I didn't answer. Within four days, he removed me from a mutual friend group. It hurts, but it just proves he only cares about his own convenience, not our friendship.

I'm the bad one for not answering him?

My ex bf now (19) and I (19) broke up over this (he broke up with me) I need to know if I’m the AH in this situation. So back in February my talking stage from middle school reached out to me. Nothing happened except him asking how I’m doing and apologized for him being immature. We caught up on life and that was that. We were texting for a couple of days but it never got past us just catching up. I told my bf about this and he lost his shit on me. He said that it was cheating and was so sad about it. He went out with his friends that night and didn’t come talk to me until 4:30 PM the next day to break up with me. I don’t understand how me catching up with someone I had a 2 week talking stage with 6 years ago is that big of a problem. Me and bf were dating for 3.5 years. It felt like he just threw it out over nothing. Maybe I’m wrong but I need to know. Thanks.

Throwaway account but I just need get this out there. I like my boyfriend. He's weird. I'm weird. We like the same games and shows. It works for us, or at least it did for a long time. He's always gotten obsessed with something random, at best it's interesting, at worst it's cringe, but that's just how it goes. It was cool when he got into origami, it was weird when he got into cyberpunk jimmy neutron fanfiction.

I usually assume the wackier things he says are his sense of humor or just shrug it off, but a couple of months ago he started getting really deep into spirituality, but like, specifically this idea that (mostly direct quote) "power exists wherever you believe it exists". What this actually means is he started assembling his own pantheon out of literally whatever. Egyptian gods. The Hidden King from Deadlock. Herobrine. Some TF2 youtuber. I don't really even understand what he was doing, but he was spending all of his time on it, and it was getting really annoying, so I was kinda bugging him about it. Making fun of it, what are you even doing?

I think I might have gone a little far, because yes it's really strange but strange is typical for us, I guess this was just a line too wacky for me to get on board with, and after he asked me some bizarre question like "if I had to kill a man but go to hell forever, would you join me or let me burn alone" (to be clear I do NOT think he is actually a threat to anyone, he's just being edgy, and I'm almost positive this was about a videogame) and I said "no, wtf are you talking about" he's gone silent for awhile. This specifically I feel was unfair because I've asked him shit like "if I committed murder would you lie to give me an alibi for the police" so it's really not that outside of normal, I was just so irritated with him in general.

Obviously the easy answer is "NTA, this guy sounds nuts", I get that, but I DO really like him, and I have my own weirdness too. I feel like I might be a hypocrite for drawing a line here when he didn't for that time I sincerely claimed to be a vampire for like two years. Should I have just gone along with it for the sake of our relationship?

I (woman, 26 years old) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (man, 30 years old) for about a year and a half now. I have been in several relationships throughout the years. He hasn't. When we reached 6 months he told me "this is the longest I have ever been with someone." He doesn't have much dating experience. Says his focus was on sports growing up & didn't have an interest to maintain anything serious. I have a high s3x drive. I can do every day. He doesn't care for it. He could probably go once a month if that. BUT he does get himself off about twice to three times a week if I don't initiate the s3x. I have communicated a few times that I want him to initiate more, I have had several conversations asking if he is attracted to me, I have mentioned in passing conversations how high my drive is compared to his. There has even been nights where he will blow me off; he just isn't in the mood. I can't wrap my head around this. I have never been with a guy that ignores me dressing in short shorts around the house. Or ignores me getting out the shower with just a towel. I have never been with a guy with much a low drive. I can't help but think he isn't attracted. Help.. we live together & this is beginning to eat me up. I feel so rejected. I'm starting to not want to sleep together at night. & when he get himself off.. I feel cheated on. I have talked to my friends about it & as women they relate to him. "You're not going to always be in the mood." It is hard to accept that from a man though in my opinion.. I don't mean to say it like men CAN'T have a low drive.. I've just never met one. & it is hard to accept it as that verses something deeper.

update: i text him & said i wanted us both to quit masurbation & to go on this journey together.. hopefully this changes something! if not, i’ll go from there.

I have a long term friend we are both 29. My friend lives in a city that is a few hours bus ride/drive from where I live. I’ve visited my friend a bunch over the years to go to concerts and events and hang out. I’ve always enjoyed our time together and value our friendship. When I’ve stayed we always share a queen (or might be a full) sized bed in the house she rents with two roommates. There is one bathroom. When I stay I feel like I always have to wait for the bathroom and a little stressed about waking my friend up in the night to use it. Overtime I have not wanted to visit due to the space and experience. I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings but also it’s expensive to get a hotel which makes it harder to visit. I admittedly spend less time with this friend and I do feel bad about it. It feels like I should just suck it up and value time with my friend over my comfort and it beats paying for lodging. I’m also feeling like I am too old for that shit lol. AITA for not wanting to stay at my friends place anymore?

My sister is getting engaged soon. I say soon because her boyfriend already told the whole family he is proposing this month and now everyone is acting like its a national event.

She originally booked a private room at a restaurant for the engagement party. Nothing crazy, just drinks and small plates. Then last week she called me and said the restaurant wanted a bigger deposit than she expected and asked if she could just do it at my apartment instead.

I live alone in a two bedroom apartment and I keep it pretty nice, but its not a party space. Also I have neighbors who complain if someone breathes too loud after 10. She said it would only be around 18 people, then later I found out she invited 31.

I told her no, mainly because I dont want that many people in my place, and also because I have a new couch and a cat who hates strangers. She got really quiet and said I was making her feel embarrassed because she already told some people the party might be at my place.

My mom thinks I should just do it because I have the “biggest place” in the family and because my sister is stressed. My sister also made a comment like “you’re spending so much on my gift anyway, why not just let me use your apartment” which annoyed me because me spending money because I stream on Kick doesn’t mean my apartment is a free event hall.

Now she’s saying I ruined the vibe around the proposal before it even happened. I told her she can come over after with her fiancé and we can celebrate small, but I’m not hosting a full engagement party.

AITA?

am i the asshole? so let me get this straight, i had this one friend we'll call her kyla (not her actual name) but anyways i knew things about her and she knew things about me, we were in class and me and her got in an argument, the teacher didnt do anything because they thought we would 'work it out', she ended up saying "at least i never got raped" loud enough for the whole class to hear which pissed me off beyond imagination, so i decided to say "at least my adoptive father doesnt abuse me" and then she started crying. she knows what happened in my past is very traumatizing to me so am i the asshole for bringing up her stuff?

edit: i forgot to mention this is not the first time she has done things like this, but im being honest its the first time i've made a comment like this towards her

I'm an easy going guy. I've worked in an office for just over a year and everyone knows I can joke and take a joke. I'm a large guy (currently working hard on losing weight) and I'm okay with people calling me fat in jest.

We just recently got a new guy in the office that came in on day 1 talking about his lazy-eye as being one of his best features. Of the 10 people, myself and this guy included, in our office, everyone except me makes constant friendly natured jokes about the lazy eye.

Only twice have I made a comment, and both times were during group conversations where someone had just made a joke about him as well. Both times though, this person singled me out telling me to shut up about his disability. So, to make sure I can keep my job, I never talk to him unless directed to do so I don't talk to him about anything, not even the weather.

The day he noticed and asked why I had changed, I told him the truth: that he seems to be fine with everyone but me saying anything about his eye. He even posted a "thank you" in a group text where someone had made a comic book cover calling him the "LazyEyed Loon."

I told him I didn't appreciate being singled out as the only one in the entire office not allowed to contribute to the friendly ribbing. But if that's the way he wanted to play it, that was fine. I ended the conversation by telling him we weren't there to be friends but to do a job, and that's all I would ever do with him.

I’m passionate for animals, to a whole different level. Been foster rehabbing aggressive dog adoption rejects for 15 years. Volunteered training 3 service dogs for the VA. And took a break from my career to work for minimum wage at an African safari, working with aggressive wildlife, for six months. I’m this level of passionate.

When one of my pets is sick or dies, I get beyond emotional. 42m, I’ve survived war and 20 years in uniforms… but will fall completely apart over an animal.

Last week, my eleven year old Great Pyrenees died. I don’t want to talk about it, but since he went everywhere with me, going anywhere will trigger the questions. I recognize it’s unavoidable, and accept that.

My problem comes in that people won’t listen. They ask, and I say “He died a few days ago, it was just old age. I don’t want to talk about it at all.” Then either they ask questions, try to talk about it, or give me the old “well if you want to talk, I’m here”.

I’m getting flat out angry at this point. My saying I don’t want to talk about it, shouldn’t trigger people to offer to talk about it. Or ask questions. Or blow right through my boundary and talk anyway. I don’t want the comments, and flat out say it. I don’t appreciate them. I’m not grateful. I know the intent is there, I just don’t want to talk about it… and I want my saying that to be respected.

AITAH here? Is there really such a problem with wanting to grieve the way that -I- need?

I (31M) have been with my wife (35F) almost 7 years, married for several, and we're raising two kids together.

I'm a transgender man (FTM). From the start, my wife's mom has never accepted me because of it. As a result, I'm regularly excluded from holidays, birthdays, family dinners, and other gatherings. My wife and our kids are invited, but I'm expected to stay home.

What hurts most isn't even her mom anymore—it's my wife. She might mention that I'd like to come, but if her mom says no, that's the end of it. She still takes the kids and goes. She's never said, "If my husband isn't welcome, neither are we."

Even our kids have said they wish I could come too.

For context, my mom passed away, and I don't have family where I live. I hoped that when I got married, I'd finally have a family again. Instead, I feel constantly reminded that I'll never truly be part of theirs.

Now it's happening again for the Fourth of July. My wife's sister is visiting, and her mom invited my wife and the kids over, but not me. The excuse this time is that her boyfriend either will be there or might stop by, and apparently he also has a problem with me being transgender.

At that point, I walked away and told my wife I didn't want to hear about another family event I'm not welcome at.

I understand no one has to invite me into their home. This isn't about forcing myself into someone's house. It's about my wife continuing to attend gatherings hosted by people who openly exclude me for who I am.

If my family refused to invite my wife because of her race, religion, sexuality, or any other part of who she is, I wouldn't keep showing up. I'd stand by my spouse.

So, AITA for walking away and feeling hurt? Should my wife be setting boundaries, or am I expecting too much? What would you do?

I had vaguely interacted with this girl in HS to let her know some guy was saying they were dating when they obviously weren't. After a while she unfollowed me and removed me on Instagram and I just unfollowed her. Fast forward to University and we go to the same university. I saw another post saying awful things about her and I decided to let her know. (I generally tell people if I hear someone telling groups of people awful/false things) She said thank you and we had a couple of other interactions. Anyways, I heard her talking bad abt someone and I decided to unfollow her. I went to class afterwards but by the time I left class she had sent me a paragraph about how she's never going to be nice to someone like me and that she's not a fan. I told her I didnt realize how much of a b**** she was. Tbh it was all I could think. We argued and then i blocked her. Her friends started messaging me and saying similar stuff so I blocked them too. She emailed me through my school email threatening to sue me for defamation? Even though she's the one who had people message me? Is unfollowing without removing someone really this serious? AITA for unfollowing without removing?

I (20M) have a friend (21M) who loves embarrassing people for laughs. He constantly roasts everyone and acts like it’s harmless banter, but he targets me a lot.

Over the last year he’s made jokes about my appearance, my dating life, and private stuff I told him in confidence. I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t like it, but he always says I’m too sensitive and need to toughen up.

Last week we went out with friends and he took it way too far. He brought up something really personal in front of everyone and the whole table laughed. I felt humiliated.

I decided I’d had enough.

This weekend he had people over at his house. While he was distracted, I got into his room and found a box under his bed with letters, photos, and gifts from his ex. I knew about it because he told me he kept everything because he wasn’t fully over the breakup.

I took the box.
The next day I burned most of it in my garden and sent him a photo of the ashes with the caption, “Time to move on.”

I thought he’d be angry, sure, but also maybe finally understand what it feels like to have something personal used against you.
Instead he completely lost it.

Apparently some of the stuff in there was irreplaceable polaroids, handwritten letters, and even a necklace from his late grandmother that his ex used to wear. I genuinely didn’t know that was in there.

Now he’s telling everyone I’m psychotic and demanding I pay him back, but I don’t even know how you put a price on sentimental stuff.

Some friends think what I did was unforgivable. Others think he pushed me to breaking point and had it coming.

I know it sounds bad, but part of me feels like if he hadn’t spent years humiliating me, none of this would’ve happened.

AITA?

Yesterday I visited my dad and step mom. They like to sit outside in the summer. The high was 82 degrees Fahrenheit. I am disabled and cannot tolerate heat well at all. I dressed lightly, brought a fan, had multiple cold waters.

Eventually I started to feel delirious, and my neurological condition started flaring as I was struggling to walk and use stairs. They told me its cooler inside because the ceiling fan is on, and they refuse to turn on the AC because the grandkids run in and out of the house and would waste the cold air.

I head inside and lay on their couch, its just as hot inside. More symptoms of heat stroke appeared. Im trying to hang in there until dinner is ready, as I dont want to be rude and leave before eating since they spent the money on enough food for all of us. My dad walks in and says "its cooler in here right?" I say "Not really." We eat. I start slurring my words. We leave as soon as we are done eating.

Im feeling really sad and angry that they didn't turn on their ac for me, knowing my health is what it is and watching me struggle. I felt like I shouldn't need to ask. You see your daughter suffering and you have the means to help, but refuse for selfish reasons. Is it their house their rules? Am I the asshole to ask them to turn on their AC for me before I come over?

Last year somewhere around Christmas I think my best friend (we’ll call her Jane) and my guy friend (we’ll call him Frank) started dating. Me and my ex kind of egged them on to be together bc they both kind of liked eachother.

February me and my ex broke up and then a week or two they broke up. Jane was devastated and would come to me even though I was going through the worst. Me and ex were together for 3.5 year and they were only together for a few months. To this day she still is obsessing over him and won’t leave him alone. She keeps calling him asking him to come over, checks his location and when she sees he’s not at home she freaks out.

He was at his friends house last night who just so happens to be a girl and she freaked out even though it was just a grad party. She acts like they’re still dating. I can’t be fully mad at her bc he does play with her feelings like they’ll send spicy pics to each other and dirty talk every now and then but he doesn’t show interest in her unless it’s 12:30 at night.

I can’t take it anymore. Every sentence is about him. I had a pretty traumatic break up with my ex like cheating was involved and lying as well and I feel like she tries to fit her experience into mine even though none of those things happened to her.

I cant name a time she even tried to care for me when I went through that but I’ve been there for her many times with this. Me, her mom, and her sister were talking and think the same thing. It’s time to move on and she won’t accept that.

I (29M) made plans with five friends for dinner last Friday. We picked the restaurant earlier in the week, agreed on 7:00 pm, and everyone confirmed that morning. I got there a little early because parking around that area is usually terrible, so I grabbed the table and ordered a drink while I waited.

By 7:20 nobody had shown up. I texted the group asking if everyone was still coming. No response, spent another 30 min just scrolling on myprize and one person finally replied saying they were "running a little behind' that was it. No ETA, no explanation. I waited another 20 minutes, ordered an appetizer because I was starving, and still nothing. At that point I paid for my food, left the restaurant, and went home. What bothered me was sitting there for an hour and a half with almost no communication, wondering if I had somehow gotten the time wrong.

About 20 minutes after I got home, my phone started blowing up. Apparently everyone had arrived around 8:30 and was annoyed that I had left. They said I should have just waited because they were all together and assumed I knew they were coming. I told them I would've stayed if literally anyone had kept me updated, but sitting alone in a restaurant for 90 minutes with almost no communication felt disrespectful. Now a couple of them are saying I overreacted and made the night awkward for everyone. Am I the asshole for leaving instead of waiting even longer?

Hi I'm 27 (F) and since I just got laid of from my VA work, with no choice I applied as a chatter. They promised that we will have a paid training, but was delayed. Tenured chatters told us it was normal though I have a hunch that it's already a scam or somehow red flag. But since I needed the money I continued working.

Now the problem is we haven't been paid since last month and I think the models (they are trans btw) ghosted us. I'm thinking that since I have their contents I'll just sell them off online. AITA for just even thinking about it?

If you think it's only fair, can you give me an idea where to sell it?
Please help!

I (27F) met my boyfriend (32M) at our apartment complex last year. After I asked him to draw me on his iPad we grabbed lunch and really hit it off. We have been together since September 2025.

Things were great until he came over one night to bring me some feminine products. I heard a huge commotion outside. My neighbors had tackled him in the hallway. I screamed at them to stop, and they were shocked, saying he had a key and was coming in. When I told them he is my boyfriend, they backed off and mumbled an apology.

Two days later, four women and those two guys cornered me in the gym, telling me he is a creep. They claimed he used to loiter in public areas, stare at women, and repeatedly beg for dates after being told no. They said he only stayed in the building because his cousin is the leasing manager. I asked for specifics, and they explained he had never assaulted or broken into anywhere. It was all just creepy behavior. Also, all of this happened in early 2024.

He has been nothing but respectful to me. When I asked him about it, he admitted his past behavior was wrong. He explained that a very abusive, isolated childhood left him with poor social skills, and he has been in therapy to work on it. Even the neighbors admitted he apologized and has not bothered anyone since 2024.

One of the women, asked how he reacted to me breaking up with him and I told her that we did not break up, she looked like she had seen a ghost. Now she has been messaging me, calling me a pick me for staying with a predator. She says staying with him rewards his bad behavior. I don’t agree… his bad behavior was met with negative reaction and then a year later he and I met in a normal way. He was nice to me without expecting anything in return and I genuinely liked his personality and getting him out of his shell. My roommate thinks if he is not an issue anymore, I do not have to dump him, but Kate insists I am not a girls girl and wont stop messaging me and making posts on the apartment community app.

AITA for not wanting to end our relationship over his past behavior?

Okay. I (18F) have a boyfriend (19M) who we will call Mark. Mark and me have been dating for two years and are planning our first overseas trip together. We are both broke students so we agreed on a trip together to Wales as it is affordable. Ever since agreeing on this trip I have been the only one doing anything to make it happen. I’ve been asking him constantly to come over and help me plan it, I have adhd and am extremely forgetful so I forget to do it, but he remembers and says nothing. He also hasn’t inquired about planning the trip despite saying he wants to go.

This has been happening for weeks so I took initiative myself and sorted everything today after coming home from work. I sorted flights, accommodation, transport, planning days, booking etc. He was working a three hour shift while I was doing this. He was aware of what I was doing. I asked him if he still definitely wanted to go and I outlined everything to make sure he was okay with it. He said yes. We agreed to book it under his name and details and I would pay a deposit and the rest weekly as he is in a better financial position than me. After spending hours doing this the only thing I needed was for him to call me so I could show him what to book and we could book it under his details.

He said he’d call me after work. He then tells me that he’s going for a drive with his friends and will “be back to do it later.” It’s almost midnight. Im exhausted and need to sleep soon. I got a little annoyed at him because he can go out with his friends whenever he wants and this needs done. I told him he isn’t behaving like he cares about this at all. He combatted me by telling me he was at work and needed to decompress. I reminded him that I also worked today, several hours more than him and still managed to do everything. Maybe I overreacted out of tiredness but now I’m debating even going at all. So reddit, AITA?

I have been on the "Progressive Jews for Tikkun Olam" for about a month. Someone posted an article about the last gay bar in Tel Aviv. The administrator demanded that all who comment report on the sexual identification as Gay, BI, Lesbian, Queer or Straight. I ask simply "Really?" I was told I had no right to speak for gay people as I did not know what they go through and to stop "Queer Splaining". Several people attacked me and I said you don't know who I am or how I identify and you put upon me your assumptions without a basis. The administrator gave me a warning that if I continued I could be removed from the group. Anyone else had this kind of experience?

Last Saturday, my friend group and I went to GSP mall. The week before, we made a group chat to organize everything. The person who organized this, were gonna call him M, said that if you were late and the group went to a store already that you wanted to go to, they are not going back to save time. We collectively agreed on this. The day of the mall comes. M texts the group chat “Sorry guys, I don’t wanna go this early, I’m tired I’ll come later“. Mind you, he is an adult with no job, living in his mom’s basement, definitely doesn’t have kids and has almost no responsibilities. So what can he be tired from? Drinking Monster and playing Minecraft all day? Whatever, the group goes shopping without him. Then, he comes to the mall and HOUR LATER THAN HE SAID HE WOULD BE. So he asked what stores we went to. One of them being Hot Topic. He went silent. He asked “what, why would you go without me?!” This kid has never mentioned even liking Hot Topic out of the 11 years I’ve known him, besides when I asked to go during the planning stage of this. My other friend, M’s other brother reminds him of the rule that if you’re late we’re not gonna go back to any stores to save time, which he thought of. So I said we weren’t going. He said it was unfair and racially motivated because he’s African American and starts acting immature, but the whole group agrees we’re not going to Hot Topic. He starts calling us horrible names I will not repeat on here and leaves the mall early. It’s been a week and nobody, not even his brother has heard from him. So AITA for saying no when my friend asked to go to Hot Topic?

Would you be married and allow your husband to work out of town FULLTIME…. And be expected to work a full time job while taking care of multiple kids and the household day in an out and be expected to split bills?

I go to school and get financial aid every month to maintain my car payment, while also doing Amazon flex to make extra income to take care of home expenses like household supplies. He does not take care of anything but rent and honestly barely shows up for that while working getting paid 900+ a week.

I’ve sacrificed my career 3 years ago when we got married to stay home while he uses my car to fulfill his career and be the provider.

I (25F) known my bf (38M) for 3 years and been dating for 6 months. One ongoing issue in our relationship is that I tend to jump to conclusions about him, when he has never given me a reason to not trust him.

He's asked me many times to stop assuming and ask or talk to him when I'm worried. He finds it hurtful because my conclusions often paint him in a negative light, despite his consistent behavior over the years.

Recently, we slept together, and afterward his texting became less frequent. Instead of talking to him about it, I convinced myself he was distancing himself because he regretted being intimate with me. In reality, he was very busy.

When I told him what I had been thinking, he was deeply hurt. From his perspective, after knowing him for 3 years, I should know his character better than that. He feels unfairly judged and says he's tired of having to defend himself against assumptions that aren't based on his actions.

I've made progress with my overthinking over the years, but I still have moments where I slip back into old patterns. This time hit especially hard for him, he told me that if I truly loved and trusted him, I wouldn't automatically think the worst of him, and he said this may have been the "nail in the coffin" after giving me so many chances.

I feel terrible and don't know how to repair the damage or rebuild his trust after hurting him this way. Aita?

Hey guys. So I’m a 23 year old male, and I’ve been seeing a girl for a few months thinking we might act start taking things serious but a few days ago she asked me my body count and I didn’t want to lie and told her the truth, around 90. Since then she’s been real stand off ish and and now she’s said that she’s done. We had a massive argument, is it rly that bad. My mates say it’s extremely high but idk.

Edit : Obvs I’m aware it is high. It has only got out of control in the last year which is deff why she’s turned off I suppose, I’ve been with close to 40 woman in the past 12 months. I guess I just have to straight up start lying to every girl that I’m abt to be serious with. I’ve been in 5 years worth of relationships too and they’ve never seemed to mind it’s high

2nd edit: I had no idea this post would blow up so much. To clarify, no I don’t think this is a flex I’ve never rly told anyone random this number I find it embarrassing at times. And to those who have never left ur basement, yes there are plenty of ppl my age with the same numbers if not higher.

My mom and i booked flights together to visit my aunt in Phoenix. We booked at the same time, same card, seats right next to each other. I had some miles saved up from some trips last year and used them to upgrade myself to first class like a week before the flight, didn't really think twice about it, i'd been really stressed and just wanted the extra space.

Never crossed my mind to offer it to her or use the miles on her ticket instead.

Fast forward to the airport, she sees me go to a different boarding line and kinda pieces it together. Didn't make a scene or anything but she got quiet in that specific way moms get quiet you know. I felt it.

The whole flight she's back in economy and i'm up front eating a warm cookie and playing Ѕtake and i'll be real i felt a little guilty but i also paid for those miles through work travel so its not like it was free money, i earned that.

When we landed she brought it up and said she wasn't mad just that she thought it was a little thoughtless that i didn't even consider offering it to her. My aunt actually sided with her which i did not see coming.

My argument is that I booked it for myself with my own miles and it never occurred to me that i was obligated to offer it. Its not like I had two upgrades and picked myself over her.

But maybe i'm missing something here idk. Was i just oblivious or does she have a point. AITA

42m, and I live a pretty “outside the box” lifestyle.
I have ASD, but can blend in with society with the help of meds and therapy. Some of the traits of autism still leak through, and always will. Other people’s emotions overwhelm me considerably, and it’s a problem I haven’t been able to trump. I’m also retired early, and really try to make life about experiences, and less about having to fulfill responsibilities. I recognize that I’m on the winning side of what everybody wants, I’m grateful, and I don’t want to waste it. I’ve come to get to know myself, and have learned well that it’s okay to just be me.

A social struggle I’m experiencing is how people define friendship, and I just can’t get on board with societal expectations. I want my friendships to be about fun and enjoyment. I want them to add positivity to my life, and not weigh me down. I’m a generous friend, am always the one hosting parties or paying for outings… It’s not one sided, but I can’t handle (and have zero interest in) being someone’s emotional support. I don’t want to be the guy with his phone on overnight in case friends need me. I don’t want to be the guy you call to cry to after a hard day. I don’t want to be the guy counted on for favors, rides, places to stay, money. I want to be the friend you call for fun, and not for support. I’m not saying it’s a zero tolerance, but I just don’t want, and can’t handle that in my life. My emotions don’t allow for it; I react well in person, but struggle internally. This is something I do openly discuss and explain when I run into this.

I know I don’t match the societal standard of what a friend is… And I don’t desire to change my stance. but does this make me the AH?

Over the last few months, I went through a very lonely and difficult period and started drinking heavily as a coping mechanism. I’ve since realised I have a serious issue with alcohol, especially because when I drink too much, I black out. During these blackouts I appear “normal” to others but have no memory afterward, which has caused real harm to my friendships.

I live with my best friend and another roommate (C). Previously, my drinking led to situations where I wasn’t there for my friends when I should have been. I acknowledged this, apologised, started therapy, and actively tried to reduce my drinking. I even asked not to be invited out or offered alcohol.

This past weekend, I drank again and blacked out. While out, C was robbed and assaulted outside a bar. I was physically present at the time but have no memory of the incident. According to others, I stayed with her initially, till they left with some guys, but later I left with someone I’m seeing. I didn’t go home with her and didn’t fully grasp what had happened until the next day.

C is understandably hurt and feels she can’t trust me. She’s told me she no longer wants a friendship, and I accept that. I’m not trying to excuse my behaviour, being blackout drunk isn’t an excuse, but I’m struggling with intense guilt and the reality that my drinking puts people at risk emotionally.

This situation has made it very clear that moderation may not be an option for me and that I need to seriously reassess alcohol in my life. I’m taking accountability, but I don’t know how to process the guilt or move forward, especially since we live together.

I guess I’m posting because I know I’m in the wrong, and I’m trying to figure out what accountability and growth actually look like from here.

AITA for wanting to go no contact with both my parents?
Hi everyone, I want to start off by saying no real names or ages will be used to protect my privacy.
I (20f) want to go no contact with my parents (40f and 43m). They have been separated and trying to divorce since 2021 due to my father repeatedly cheating on my mother. Their most prevalent affairs were coworkers, and one long-term affair partner of nine years told my mom about secret men he met on dating apps after she broke up with him. My mom would tell me every detail, even after I repeatedly said I didn’t want to know. I was around 14 when this started.
She would also take my phone and pretend to be me to contact my dad, saying, “He only listens to you, you’re his everything.” If I refused, she’d cry, guilt me, or threaten to break my phone.
Although she now wants nothing to do with him, she still vents to me about the divorce despite me saying it stresses me out. She often guilts me by saying she’s alone and doing everything herself. If I cry after she yells at me, she accuses me of trying to make her feel bad.
I recently moved in with my partner (26 enby) and their mother. After not seeing my mom for a month, the first thing she did was guilt me for leaving a physically abusive job and dropping out of a degree I couldn’t afford and didn’t want, saying I was failing her.
I had a better relationship with my dad before learning about his affairs. He did things with me my mom wouldn’t, but he also made comments about my sexuality from a young age, had a serious drinking problem, drank while driving, and became physically abusive toward my mom. When I confronted him with specific memories, he denied they happened and called me a liar.
Over the last year, he’s tried reaching out. My only condition for rebuilding our relationship was family therapy, with him putting in the effort to find a therapist and make the appointment. He lied about getting one to get me to dinner, then gave excuses about therapists not taking our case or not being able to afford it. My therapist and my mom’s therapist both offered sessions, but I felt he needed to do the work himself.
Both sides of my family have implied cutting my parents off would be rude and disrespectful. But since moving out, I’ve been happier than I have in years.
So, AITA?

I’m 22 and my best friend is 20. I moved out at 17 and have lived alone ever since. I’m very introverted and need a lot of quiet time. My home has always been my safe space, especially because I grew up in a toxic family where I was basically parenting everyone else.

My friend also comes from a toxic family, so I let them move into my small studio apartment. The problem is that living together has made me feel like I’m back in that old dynamic. I’m the only one working. If I don’t cook, clean, or organize things, they don’t get done.

Before moving in, they promised they understood my need for space. Instead, I haven’t had a single quiet day since. They’re constantly talking to me and wanting my attention. I’ve told them I need more space or I’ll start resenting them, but they respond by asking how they are supposed to feel when I don’t want to listen.

I leave for work around 9 a.m. and often don’t get home until 1 a.m., yet I still can’t relax in peace.
To be fair, when they first moved in I was unemployed for about two months, and they helped with groceries and some expenses. That’s part of why I feel guilty.

The original plan was for them to move to London, but that didn’t happen. Then we talked about moving abroad together, except I’m the only one saving money because I’m the only one working.

Update:
I recently gave birth, and now they suddenly want to leave. They’ve been living with me rent-free since February and are now asking me to repay the money they spent helping me while I was unemployed so they can move out.
They want to move to Germany with someone they met through online acting classes and have only known in person for a week.
I’ve also been in the hospital, and while I was there they had this near-stranger staying in my apartment.
After six years of friendship, the first thing they asked when I told them I’d given birth was, “Are you keeping it? I’m not ready.”
The baby was already born.

Am I the asshole?

She was a great cohost. Smart, articulate, good pauses between phrases. Easily the best person on the rotating group of cohosts that Danny is cranking through right now looking for a good one.

My (22, F) girlfriend (23, F) and I went on a city trip for her birthday, along with her brother. Some background- my girlfriend comes from a family full of potheads--and not just her parents but her aunts, uncles, etc. She is also one. Although I am not a fan of weed, I knew this going into our relationship and told her she it's her life/her choices and if she wants to use weed it's not a problem. However, when she uses she can become distant/rude/unable to engage in conversations, and I told her that I would appreciate it if she limits her use around me. Since we were going on this trip with her brother, I knew they would be getting high, and she mentioned that "they would be smoking" prior to us leaving. I said that was fine, it was her birthday. While planning our trip she mentioned wanting to see a mutual friend from high school who lived in the city, so I set up a surprise birthday dinner with this friend at a restaurant with her favorite food. Then the trip started...and my gf and her brother were high the ENTIRE trip. No exaggeration. The only times they were sober was driving to and from the airport, then immediately using edibles/smoking for the entirety of the trip. At first I didn't REALLY mind, but as the trip continued and I became designated navigator/manager of them, I got frustrated. We didn’t explore a lot and spent every night just watching movies. THEN came the birthday dinner...my gf and her brother got super high, were reatively quiet and awkward, and just made the whole thing a bad experience. On the drive back home (after I drove an hour out of our way through a snowstop to drop off her brother...) she asked if I was annoyed. I explained, ya I mean a little bit...I know you said you were going to be high but I didn't think that meant the WHOLE trip. At first she apologized, but then she told me that I was the problem for assuming that they wouldn't be high the whole time and that I need to work on not making assumptions.We broke up about a week later (for various reasons) and she again referenced this situation and how it reflected my problems with assuming things. She also said I planned the birthday surprise assuming that they wouldn't be high/she would enjoy it....I mean that was kinda the point since it was a SURPRISE. Anyway...AITA because I didn't ask how much they would be high/because I assumed it wouldn't be the whole trip??

I (28F) adore my partner (30M) and his parents (60s). They are the most nice and supportive people I have ever met. I genuinely love them and see them as family.

My partner’s grandmother (85ish) visits from Europe a couple months a year. I felt bad for her because her spouse and her live-in-son ended their own lives over the last 10Y, and even though we don’t speak a common language I was always respectful towards her.

I found out after her last visit (3 months straight) that she apparently just openly hates on me in her language. Anywhere. At the dinner table, at public events. With any guests that speak the language. A lot of it has to do with the way I speak since I have poor hearing and auditory processing delay. Or my outfits, which (I work in a research lab) are never revealing so idk the issue. And honestly I don’t really want to try and understand it. Nobody told me this until after the grandma that was here for 3 months last year left to go home. My partner will leave the room because he doesn’t want to argue with her.

So, grandma is back after 9 months. First dinner with her today and my partner left the room. I got the memo…

I just don’t really feel good about it and don’t want to be there. And I also kind of feel betrayed that nobody is strong enough to tell her to be kind. Idk. I’m just really sad about it. I don’t feel unsafe, because what is an 85YO woman going to do, but I just feel so uncomfortable

AITA if I refuse to go to weekly family dinner when she is around?

I (21M) and my wife (22F) lived with my mom back in 2021-2022 after a falling out with her family. She loved my sister's and they loved her, she worked full time and was very respectful of everyone offering to help, cook and clean when and where needed. After a while we got married (a few months into being together) and were in no financial position to move into a place of our own so I need to live with my mother. There were tiny comments here and there from my mom calling her names (crackhead, hussy, heifer, son stealer etc.) starting from before we got married. My wife had expressed that her family had framed criticism as jokes all of her life starting with her looks, weight, clothes, what she ate, all of it. And how what she said made her uncomfortable but that's just who my mom is and I told her that she meant well.

I got my first job out of highschool and was working until really late at night, leaving her with my mom and sister's almost all day every day. I started to get messages on my Instagram from her, it was my mom yelling and calling my wife lots of names, saying how she was stealing me away and didn't want me to have a relationship with her, how she was a nuisance and nothing but trouble turning all of her kids against her. She then kicked her out saying that she was ungrateful and used a past trauma against her and how she didn't want it around her son. Another message had stated that she was moving out and that she was taking me with, my mother then told her there's no way that her son would choose a floozy like her over his own mother.

It's been a few years and me and my wife are still together, there have been plenty of rough patches, no apologies on either side, and their relationship is still on the rocks. It gets upsetting when my wife doesn't want to come with me to see my mom and sister's and I don't get it, she yelled at me one time saying I never defended her and how I just didn't get it. But all I want is for all of us to have quality time with family!

We've been together 5 years and got engaged in March, I'm 29F he's 31M we live in Brooklyn I'm a data analyst making around 145k and he teaches middle school and makes like 67k also I've got about 180k saved from before we even met some of it from when my grandmother passed he's got maybe 12k and some student loans but has never been a thing between us.

So we got a prenup and I'm not gonna lie I was the one who brought it up first and it was awkward for like a day he got quiet and I could tell he was in his head about it but then we started going through everything together and something shifted so we ended up having conversations about money we'd been dancing around for years like I didn't even know he had a small credit card debt he'd been stressed about also he didn't know I'd been sending my mom $500 a month since her divorce dumb stuff we should've talked about way earlier but just never did by the end of it he said he was glad we did it not in some dramatic way just like yeah this was good.

But then we made the mistake of telling people so his sister made this face at dinner and said something about how she could never do that to her husband and my coworker asked if things were ok between us also my aunt who I'm not even close with called my mom to say she felt bad for him as if he didn't sit right next to me through the whole thing and agree to all of it so that part bothers me more than I expected it to. My mom went through the worst divorce when I was 14 and my dad hid money moved things around and she ended up with almost nothing after 20 years of marriage she was 46 working two jobs trying to keep our apartment in Queens, I watched that happen so yeah when I think about marriage I think about that too and I don't think that makes me broken or unromantic or whatever people want to call it.

The thing that kind of gets me is the people with the strongest opinions about our prenup are the ones who never talk about money with their own partners and my sister's been married 3 years and told me last month she doesn't even know what her husband makes like exactly but sure I'm the problem. I don't know I'm just tired of feeling like I have to defend something that made us closer we're better for it and I wish someone had told me earlier that it doesn't have to be this scary combative thing because it wasn't.

I (19F) have been best friends with “Aria” (19F) for 3 years. Last October, she met a guy (21M) on Tinder. They never officially dated because he lives in Austria and we live in Germany, but they flirted heavily (like HEAVYYY) for months and even talked about meeting up.

A few days ago, Aria found out he had a girlfriend the entire time. She discovered this through Instagram and confirmed they’d been together since October. I asked if she was going to tell the girlfriend. She said she wasn’t interested and told me I could do it.

So I messaged the girlfriend and explained the situation. The girlfriend thanked me, but Aria was furious. Apparently, she was being sarcastic when she said I could tell her. I apologized because I know it wasn’t really my place, but I genuinely felt the girlfriend deserved to know.

The argument quickly became personal. Aria said I’ve been getting on her nerves for weeks, that she couldn’t wait to leave for her 5-month internship so she wouldn’t have to deal with me, and that I’m judgmental. She also claimed I never let her talk about her boy problems, even though I’ve always listened whenever she wanted to vent.

She brought up a time I didn’t reply to her texts about a date, but I was having a rough few days and wasn’t responding to anyone. I explained that and even met up with her the next day to hear about it. She also said she doesn’t want to hear my stories anymore because they’re always “boring” and “the same thing.”

What hurts most is that it feels like she used this situation to unload a bunch of unrelated frustrations and paint herself as the victim. Now I’m questioning both my actions and our friendship.

AITA for telling the girlfriend her boyfriend had been flirting with another girl behind her back?

me and my roommate have been living together for about a year, pretty solid setup overall. his girlfriend started coming around more like 4 months ago and at first i didnt care at all, few nights a week, cool whatever.

but now this girl is just HERE. every single day. she showers here, eats here, i came downstairs at 6:45am on a wednesday and she was making eggs in my pan. i had to do a double take in my own kitchen. she doesnt even text before coming over anymore she just shows up.

when i first moved in splitting bills two ways was actually a big deal for me, helped me keep a bit of money I won on Ѕtake saved on a tight budget. now the electric and water bills have crept up noticeably and theres still only two names on the lease.

i pulled my roommate aside and kept it pretty chill about it, just said hey man i think we gotta talk about the fact that maya is basically living here and maybe she should throw in something for bills or at least you two should figure it out between yourselves. he got all weird about it and said i was being territorial and that shes "just around a lot"

bro she has a designated shelf in the bathroom

AITA for saying something

I (21 female) met my (26 male) fiance two years ago while I was in college. We are getting married this summer. 

A year into dating, SIL accused me of making fiance cut off BIL. (BIL and fiance had issue, I urged them to talk, they did, it resolved) I responded to SIL saying that wasn't true and she could talk to them for details. She didn't.

MIL posted how much she loves fiance's ex. Fiance talked to MIL about how rude/weird that was. MIL didn't care. I at one point also reached out to MIL asking to move forward respectfully. No response. 

After our engagement we felt MIL didn't support us so she wasn't on our wedding invite list. Fiance told her upfront and she threatened to take him off health insurance, accusing him of doing it to hurt her, how horrible I am, I'm not like his ex's, she won't live forever etc. The SIL blew up his phone about how she's standing up for mom because she's so hurt, she prays I won't hurt him, the family dislikes me, how immature I am, it's me not him etc.

MIL messages fiance's best friend's wife (who is my friend now) saying she ruined her christmas and she thought they were friends so how could she talk to me then blocked her and me. Fiance told MIL to apologize. She didn't.

Then, fiance went no contact with MIL who will sporadically message him, implying I blocked her (it was other way around), how could you, you sound like (my name), hope you're happy etc. 

Now MIL and SIL aren't invited as they haven't made an effort to reconcile and our previous attempts failed. We'd invite them if they made any effort. Rest of the family is attending. I'm not sure why this hate towards me started and no one's ever said anything to my face. Just to him regarding me. I don't understand why MIL/SIL would want to go if they seem to hate me so much but AITA?

I (late 20s F) have been with my boyfriend (early 30s M) for 15 months. He's very career/business/finance-focused, constantly working on plans, projects, side businesses, etc. I'm more present-focused, I prioritize my health (gym, nutrition), travel, comfort, and enjoying my life as it is. I'm genuinely happy with where I'm at.

Today he sent me a long message saying he's "worried" about me, that I have "absolutely no goals in life," that I'm "stagnating" while he's "constantly developing," that I used to be "too good for my friends" but now I'm "on the same level," and that he's stopped discussing moving in together because of this.

I responded calmly, said some of wjat he said felt hurtful and patronizing, and explained that my way of growing (health, mental wellbeing, relationships) is just different from his, not inferior or wrong.

He said he "stands by" everything he said100% and has "nothing more to add."

I tried again, I said I wasn't attacking him, just sharing how his words made me feel, and that he doesn't get to decide whether I felt hurt.

He replied that he "tolerates" my way of thinking, though it's "as far as possible from what he considers right," and accused me of attacking him.

I pointed out the inconsistency, that him calling my entire approach to life wrong isn't an attack, but me saying I felt hurt is. He changed "tolerate" to "respect" and said it was "probably not the right word," but then accused me of "always needing to be right", because I said his words were "hurtful, insulting, and patronizing". After all he was only making an observation, and I was the one who turned it into an attack.

I tried once more, explaining I just needed him to acknowledge how I felt without making it about how my feelings affect him. He replied "take it or leave it... I'm out of this discussion, it's energy-taking."

Hours of silence. Then he sent "Goodnight, sleep well 😘" like nothing happened.

I responded that I couldn't pretend everything was fine, that I was still hurt, and that what I said hadn't been acknowledged at all — but I wasn't trying to fight and said goodnight.

He replied: "I find your behavior towards me completely inappropriate and will not respond to it."

So... AITA here? Genuinely trying to see this from outside my own head.

(For the record she is only my half sister and way older than me) Not to long ago my father called me saying my sister wanted to get in contact with me, for some background information I've probably only seen her four times in my life (including the day I was born) and any attempt for me to contact her was blocked, ignored, or she just didn't care. To the point where she named her daughter after me but refused to let me see her so I assumed she just wanted the name.

The day he called I was informed from my father that instead of her reaching out to try to contact me he had given me her number and I had to contact her. Which is what had finally broken me I was a sobbing mess. I felt the pressure that was on me to go out of my way to contact someone I've went my whole life without.

She only started trying to reach out to me after my father had told me not to long before that she and her partner at the time broke up, (seemed important to put in i dont know if she has any ulterior motives) but I still refuse to contact her to this day... so AITA and I should contact her or should I just live in my peace without her?(sorry for my bad grammar)

I host a group of us that go to an amusement park together weekly. We met in a group therapy program, and stayed in touch after graduating. It’s two of us consistently, and others join and fade away over time. We just added a third who’s excited to join, and have plans to go Thursday.

An ex that I had a strong connection with recently caught up with me. She’s someone who was awful to me… and with my friends being from therapy, they know all the details. This ex and I have been spending time together lately, and there seem to be some changes. My expectations are low, but I am having fun with whatever we’re doing in the here and now.

I asked the two ladies if I can invite the ex, they know her as well. One excitedly said yes, knowing how fun she is… The other is refusing, with a revolving list of reasons, one sillier than the next.. She’s dressing it up as concern for me, but I think the truth is she’s worried she’ll receive less attention. (This is an issue she has regularly, feeling left out, and plays the victim even when there’s no problems). I made a mistake and already mentioned to the ex that I want her to go. And now, it seems I made one too many promises, and don’t know how to resolve this.

I’m frustrated. My options are either don’t invite the ex (who’s loads of fun)… Or invite them all, and say everyone can decide if they want to go out not. I don’t want the history with her to be the focus of topic… I’m living in today.

What’s the advice? What’s the right thing to do here? AITAH?

Am I the asshole for calling a 25 year old UK man a pedo for dating a 16 year old girl? I met a 25-year-old guy through an anime Discord server and thought he was pretty normal until he mentioned being called a pedophile online. When I asked why, he told me his girlfriend was 16 and turning 17 soon. He said it was legal because they both live in the UK, where 16 is the age of consent, but that still made me extremely uncomfortable due to the age and maturity gap. I ended up calling him a pedophile and distancing myself from him. I understand it's legal where they live, but I don't think legality automatically makes something okay. Am I the asshole for reacting that way?

I (40M) have been married to my wife, Elizabeth (40F) for 16 years. A few years ago, I met a woman named Maria (23F at the time). I prayed to the Lord and asked him to show me how to say no to this, but I gave in. This affair lasted about one year, and I felt terrible. Maria's husband, James (33 at the time) used this affair to blackmail me. I ended up paying him around $1000 in separate chunks. My friend, Aaron (41M) found out about the money I sent to James, and accused me of treason and using national funds to pay off my debt. I confessed to him that I had cheated on my wife, and he promised not to tell anyone. However, everyone already had believed I committed treason. I didn't want people to think I was a fraud, so I told them what actually happened. I publicly published a pamphlet explaining the affair and the blackmail, I expected it to make everything better, but it did the opposite. My wife felt betrayed, and burned every letter she had written for me. I know what I did was wrong, but I feel like this is an excessive reaction. AITAH for cheating on her?

Little bit of backstory here, my friend (25F) and I (23F) have been close friends for the past 3 ½ years. We used to do everything together. But once I got pregnant with my oldest, suddenly it was like I was chopped liver because I couldn't always be over at her house with her two kids. This only got worse once my oldest was born.

She clung to another friend who could drop everything at any given time to be there (hurtful, but kind of understandable). Well now shes getting married today and I'm not even invited to the wedding! She has told me over the last few weeks how I'm still one of her best friends and how much I mean to her. But when I asked to be at the actual wedding, she said that if they let me go then they'd have to let about 10 other people go. Which honestly I could understand to a point, but here's the kicker. Her other best friend (the one that took my place once I had my child), is the maid of honor and gets to be there! She's even told me about how her MOH has been a bridezilla and wanted things done her way! Wtf is up with that??

This is all super hurtful and she wants me to be st the reception only. I understood wanting a private ceremony as it's cheaper, but theyre not even getting married at a venue, theyre getting married in nature. So it literally doesnt matter how many people are actually there?? I honestly feel really betrayed by my friend as this isnt the first time shes made me feel alienated recently. She always makes me feel like I'm not enough. And makes me feel bad about myself.

So AITAH for not wanting to go to the "wedding"?

Recently me and my fam (brother 28, boomer mom and dad) went to a tourist town to go on a dinner cruise. Prepaid food and cruise, $150 a head. 1 food option, wedding style, steak, chicken, or vegetarian.

We sit down, order drinks (not included in $150) and due to low attendance, they moved us to a better, window seat. However, during that move, our drinks got lost. It ends up taking over 15 minutes to get them which puts my dad in a really bad mood. Our drink server apologized and it blew over.

The first course, a salad, is set down, and then our drinks finally arrived. and a new server comes to the table. She asks what we'd like to eat. We said we already picked when buying the tickets. She says that's just to assess how much food to have on the boat, not our order. We order again and she says, "We all work as a crew here. The gratuity is $65 per person. This includes everyone on the ship."

I didn't believe my own ears and assumed I misheard. I did not.

When our bill arrived for $100 (just for drinks), there was a laminated card that reiterated: $65 per person. My dad barely clocked any of this and had already tipped 15% on our bill, $15. Normally, we'd push him to at least 20%, but I couldn't bring myself to argue this time.

The people next to us tipped the full $65 per person, explaining to the server it would be split across 2 cards, there were four of them. We were shocked. And it left me wondering, was this really a reasonable request and my family is just weird?

I felt a fair number would've been 20% on the cost of the food, which we could generously say is $100. $20 per person. But tipping "everyone on the boat"?! I wouldn't tip my pilot. And besides, it wasn't really full service, we only picked one item.

AITA and was this a cash grab?!

Bassically, we had this inside joke that my friend (male, 15 years) didnt know shit about this one band he liked. He claimed he liked Pierce the Veil and then only knew like 6 songs from the top ten. So me and my other friend begin to make fun of him and he doesn't take it that seriously, he just gets a little bit offended and says that he doesn't need to know all their songs to claim he likes them.

I was just personally offended that he claimed he was a "fan". as an absolute pierce the veil fan, I have practically every single one of their songs in my playlist. im a huge metal fan. And get this! He says he's alternative! How can you be alternative, dress alternative, and only know six pierce the viel songs??

But today, I decided to share the joke with my other friends (we're all in the same friend group) and my other friends also started making fun of him and he got really upset that I shared the "rude" joke and got really upset at me and just blatantly left when my other friend cracked the joke. I feel like he overreacted. Aita? He never really seemed to react poorly at this joke..

me and 3 guys rented an Airbnb in Barcelona for a week. we split it 4 ways upfront, i had some money saved on the side because i do Kick livestreams so i covered the deposit no big deal. anyway one of them (lets call him M) got into a massive argument with the host on day 3 over some stupid house rules thing and the host ended up kicking us all out early. we got a partial refund for the unused nights.

heres where it gets messy. M thinks we should split the refund equally like we did with the original cost. but me and the other two think he should get less since he literally caused us to leave. we lost money on activities we already booked and one of the guys had to pay to change his flight home.

M is saying im being "financially punitive" and that it was a miscommunication not his fault. the host literally has the whole thing documented tho.

i get hes still my boy but also like we all lost more than he did because of him. AITA?

i (23 F) recently started talking to a guy (23 M) i matched with on tinder. we ended up talking all night otp. we have chemistry, he’s easy to talk to, and i genuinely enjoy talking to him.

the issue is that my family already knows who he is. years ago, when we were teenagers, he briefly dated my cousin for about 1-2 months. according to what I’ve been told, they mostly saw each other at school and the relationship ended after family members found out where he lived and they were no longer able to see each other. my cousin later dated his brother. during this time my cousin was rebellious and left the family.

my family hates him and his family. they described him as “trash” and “losers” because of where he grew up, his family’s reputation, and where he came from. my mom recently told me she will never approve of a relationship with him and that he would never be welcome in anyone’s home.

from my perspective, a lot of what they’re judging him for happened when he was 16-17 yrs old or involve his family rather than him personally. he’s now trying to provide for his daughter, is considering joining the police academy or military. he has been extremely calm, respectful, and easy to talk to. i’m not saying he’s perfect, but i feel like people can grow. he can’t control who/where he was born.

the bigger issue is that i feel like my family has a history of influencing my life decisions, including dating, career choices, and future plans. i feel like i’m in an enmeshed family. anytime i go against the family, i am pressured to “suck it up and keep the peace”.

my family claims him and his family ruined the lives of my family members (that’s a whole different post). i feel like they are judging someone unfairly and just because they don’t meet their standards.

AITAH for telling them i want to continue getting to know him and asking they respect my decision?

Me (23f) and my best friend (26f) have been really close for years now even though we live very different lives, she has kids, moved out,I don’t and still live at home.

I’ve noticed for the last few years she’s always asking me to help her out and me being a people pleaser I say yes, however it feels like she’s messaging me to ask for something more than messaging to see how I am nowadays.

I know she’s going through a lot in her personal life so I feel like I’m being a diick by saying no to her. I also have a lot going on mentally right now and have done for the past year being quite bad for me (I’ve just lost my job and have had other traumatic things happen around me). However I feel like my issues are nothing compared to hers which makes me feel even worse about things between us.

She’s also asking me for money a lot (she always pays me back with no issues) I don’t mind but I’ve started to resent her asking me so often. This has continued after she found out I lost my job and I’m trying to be careful with money. Again this isn’t a big issue, I just don’t really like being asked so often.

I want to set boundaries but I feel like it won’t be taken in the right way and I’m scared with a mix of my current emotions and her reaction it could be the end of our very close friendship.

Does anyone know how I could go about discussing this with her in a polite and respectful way. I don’t want to lose this friendship but I don’t like how I’m sub consciously feeling towards it.

Or am I being the asshole and should I not bring this up to her and instead work on myself?

Okay, I (15m), had recently stopped being friends with my (now ex) friend maybe a few months ago. We had met in 7th grade from a friend of a friend and she was alright at first, but after a while she started becoming a worse and worse person, so I ultimately left her. Of course she was probably upset but obviously I avoided talking to her because of her actions and stuff. So, about two months after leaving her (the present time) I’d found out from a friend that she was posting my face on HER TikTok story for.. no reason? Also, claiming I’d called her slurs, which, never happened.. but anyways, so obviously I got mad because why are we doing that, but at first I ignored it, until she kept posting pictures of me, so I of course got upset, and ended up ranting on my instagram story, using her full name, which, in the moment I thought was okay but obviously it’s NOT. I checked her TikTok and she’d also decided to post my full name, so I’m pretty sure she’s stalking my account. AITAH though..?

I (37F) am married to my husband (32M). We met 3 years ago after my divorce from a marriage that ended due to long-term infidelity. Because of that experience, I was very clear from the beginning about the importance of honesty, commitment, and boundaries.

We quickly built a life together, got married, bought a house, and now have two children. During my first pregnancy, I discovered my husband was masturbating and using social media to view sexual content. What hurt most wasn’t the behavior itself, but the secrecy, deleted history, hidden accounts, and repeated dishonesty when confronted.

Over the years, I’ve found evidence multiple times, including recently discovering saved videos of another woman in a locked app. Each time there have been denials, explanations, or minimized accountability despite clear evidence.

We are intimate frequently, often multiple times a day, so this doesn’t feel like a lack of physical intimacy issue. Instead, I feel like I’ve continuously changed and pushed my own boundaries hoping things would improve, but the pattern remains.

My husband believes our main issue is communication. I feel the larger issue is broken trust, dishonesty, and a lack of emotional safety. I’m constantly anxious, hypervigilant, losing weight, crying often, and always waiting for the next discovery.

At this point, my instincts are telling me to leave, but I’m struggling to separate trauma responses from reality. How do you know when a relationship is no longer emotionally safe, and when trust has been damaged beyond repair?

This started a few years ago but became relevant again recently.

I (18F at the time) started college already knowing a few people through a club I joined. One of them, “C” (19M), lived two dorm rooms away from me.
At first I thought we were just friends since I had no relationship experience. But within the first week, C started making me uncomfortable: following me around campus, showing up while I was doing laundry, jumping into my bed while I was in it, and shining a flashlight through my peephole while I was sick or asleep.
I quietly distanced myself instead of confronting him.

Around the same time, I became friends with another guy on the floor, “B” (19M), who lived across the hall.

At a party, C got drunk and tried to make a move on me. I avoided him and later texted that I wasn’t interested, then blocked him.

After that, C told people B had “taken” me and that he had “dibs,” creating a rivalry with me stuck in the middle as the “prize.”
It escalated around bikes: B had a motorized bike and gave me a ride; the next day C bought one too. They openly competed and tried to outdo each other.
C later told people he planned to modify a lithium-ion battery. The next morning, there was a fire in the workshop from that modification. The space was damaged, repairs cost thousands, and motorized vehicles were banned on campus.

Second year, B and I broke up for unrelated reasons. Almost immediately, C started asking me out again, and I declined.

After that, I heard C was spreading rumors that I led him on, chose B, and encouraged the battery modification. I had stayed quiet, but eventually I told people the full context, including his obsessive behavior and the rivalry. Most people distanced themselves from him and he was removed from the club.

Recently, he joined another group, and someone from it contacted me after similar concerns came up. I shared my experience when asked, and he was removed again.

Now I feel guilty because I never intended to ruin his social life, but I also knew there could be consequences when I spoke up.
AITA?

So years ago, before I was even born, my grandma's brother got loans and used his and his siblings' lands as a collateral after their dad died. He had told everyone that he paid it off but records recently showed up that he didn't and now my grandma's siblings and two branches of my family may go homeless because of him.

Obviously my family doesn't want this. Now my mom has to pay off his debt of I think over million instead of spending it for herself, or to help me with education or things we need.

I was pissed about it because that's a lot of money, and I sort of told my aunt, "Relative? He's not a part of this family." and I got told off and she told me he was still family. AITA for ignoring his existence (greeting everyone else when I get home but just passing by him on purpose, not glancing at him at all, not inviting him to events that are centered around me, etc.) because of this? What can I do to help my mom?

I’ll be turning 25 this Sunday.

My mom has historically ruined my birthday in the past. not every year, but maybe every other year or so.

This year, she asked why I ordered my own cake. I reminded her she once got me a mango cheesecake for my birthday. I’m allergic to mangos. she got it because it was her favorite.

This year she asked me to pick where I wanted to go eat for my birthday dinner (btw, this is a common thing my family does for EVERYONES bday). I chose a mid level restaurant that serves really good seafood. She complained and complained about how bad the service is there (I’ve never had issues there when I go on my own or with friends). so I said ”okay, how about this nice Mexican restaurant “. she said okay. mind you, this restaurant is NOT expensive. everything is around $12-$40. She then goes on to say that she wants to go to olive garden for my birthday. I don’t like Olive Garden.

she keeps saying it’s her favorite. but we just went 2 weeks ago for my cousins bday! I tell her she can go on her birthday or any other day and she says it’s too far away. I ask her what time for Saturday since this place does get packed! and she just says she doesn’t know bc they have a furniture delivery coming in on Saturday. that she’ll let me know on Monday. it’s Tuesday now and when I asked again she sounded annoyed saying ”I don’t know yet”.

I thought of making plans with my friends instead and going around 9pm to this bar and grill. I know that my mom probably wants to wait to the last min until I can’t make a reservation and it’s booked for her to say “well we can go to olive garden then” and I don’t even like it there. I feel like a brat. but my friends offered to take me out for my birthday, would I be the AH if I just ditched my family to go out with friends instead?