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[–]MirrorRevolutionary4 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Assuming your mother is the homeowner, she doesn’t need a reason to end your tenancy.

Not wanting you to live there is reason enough.

If she gives you notice to vacate and you do not leave, she can move to evict you for failing to comply.

[–]sic0049 16 points17 points  (1 child)

" ive offered to pay $300 or more a month rent to my mother, she agreed. But she kept giving me cancer raging at me for random stuff, so i stopped paying it."

"Considering i only payed the rent once, im assuming it's not much help in a legal battle."

Honestly you sound like you have a lot of growing up to do. Being kicked out of your family home might be the best thing for you. It's time to find a new place to live and stop mooching off your Mom.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not like im trying to stay here forever. Ive got plans to maybe leave the state but i need enough money for a down payment on a home. Dont want to throw money into the void by paying rent. I find my actions perfectly reasonable. I understand many are unable to do this, and are often forced to rent. I do not have to be one of them. Might as well play the hand i drew for myself from getting my degree, save up the money, and do something smart with it. 24 years living with them in a toxic environment, they can manage a couple more. It costs them next to nothing.

[–]SendLGaMQuality Contributor 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Is there a minimum dollar amount or minimum recurring payments that would help me win in court? Is there even a way to win?

No and no. I would suggest finding a place to move out to now before your mother files for eviction because after she does it will make it almost impossible to find someone willing to rent to you.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

I will call her bluff, but in the future if she ever does go through with it, i read somewhere that if i can provide a history of payments to her, that gives me some kind of edge in a legal battle.

[–]Irritable_Curmudgeon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

At most, it would show that you were a tenant-at-will and would need to go through the formal eviction process. So, yes, it establishes that you live there - and may extend the timeline - but it doesn't allow you stay.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok thanks.

[–]katatvandy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

You’re not entitled to anything. You’re a grown adult not paying rent. Grow up

[–]GlouriousLamp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She can evict you. It’s not instantaneous but it also won’t be pleasant for either of you. She would have to go through the proper channels to evict you. That’ll take a long time and cost quite a bit of money. If she is granted the eviction it’ll remain on your record for a long time which will make things very difficult for you when you’re trying to find another place to live.

Just start looking for other housing options, it’ll be easier on both of you in the long run.

[–]derspinyQuality Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is there even a way to win?

There are holding actions, but unless your name is on the lease as a tenant (if it's rented) or on the title to the property (if you own it), then there's nothing you can do to prevent your mother (whose name is in one of those places) from recovering possession from you.

If you've got a job, then find some roommates and get your own place. Spending money preventing your mom from kicking you out is only going to delay the inevitable and deprive you of money you could spend on a deposit and rent.

If you stop paying rent with a formal landlord, you'll very rapidly find yourself on the wrong side of that relationship, too, even if you feel you have a good reason. Withholding rent is almost never a good idea. In this situation it's more of a relationship issue than a legal one, but it'll get you evicted from most tenancies in short order.

[–]No-Cloud-6941 2 points3 points  (15 children)

Honest question: why do you want to live with her. Sounds like the relationship is rocky at best and you’re both miserable.

Either way best you could do is force her to give you 30 days notice since you’ve lived there so long. You need to start looking for a place to live.

As an aside, not paying rent because someone wasn’t nice to you is ridiculous. You don’t get to choose to fulfill obligations based on your whims and feelings.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (14 children)

They dont want the rent. These people have two incomes, two million dollar houses, three cars, they pay for a maid. They dont need it. They've said so themselves. I was willing to pay rent for peace of mind but am not granted that so fuck it.

I am not ready to leave yet. I dislike nyc, and need to find a new job and place in a different state. Ideally enough for a down payment on home or apartment to purchase.

But i like the job i have in nyc. So im a bit conflicted, plus preoccupied with studying for a licensing exam that, when i achieve, should help me land a better job out of state.

Why would i throw money to the void and pay rent if i have the ability not to? Its not financially smart. A home can be sold for a profit. It just baffles me that people who ive lived with for 20 years are unable to give me a roof for several more. At no cost to their stability, lifestyle, habits, etc. They are far more childish than me.

[–]No-Cloud-6941 2 points3 points  (3 children)

The rent is not the point. The fact that you feel you deserve to live for free or at a laughably low rental rate because they can afford it is the problem.

They owe you nothing. If this is how you view the world it’s going to be a really rude awakening for you. Being able to buy a home or apartment is a luxury not a guarantee. Being able to live at home is a luxury not a guarantee. Quit treating your parents like a piggy bank until all the perfect stars and moons align and you have the absolute perfect platform to launch into life. That’s just not how it works.

Your parents did you wrong by spoiling you and teaching you that you are owed everything. That’s on them. But the ball is in your court. Grow up and work your ass off and struggle like the rest of us.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I don't ask for anything but a roof over my head for a bit. If that is considered entitlement, then i hope you never be a parent. Why even have kids if you're setting up such a deadline for them: "oh i dont owe you anything once your an adult!" Like okay? Is that how you think you maintain a good relationship with them? Why such an arbitrary insistance to kick them out at adulthood in the big 2026? Its not a matter of who owes who. Its a matter of how do you treat people kindly enough to maintain a good relationship with them. You would apply this to roomates as well, wouldnt you? You would apply this for your own mother, or friend, if they needed a place to stay? Or would you say: "well now you owe me"?

Also you act like struggling with work/money is part of growing up. Back in the day, a rich man would hide that he had to work if some need compelled him to work. It was seen as shameful to their status. If you don't need to work, you shouldn't. Peasants and slaves used to work. Nobles didn't "work". They pursued whatever creative liberties they wanted. It's the norm nowadays to see one's struggles with work and money as an indicator of responsibility and growing up but this wasn't always the case. One can find duties outside of their "work".

I work though. Im no noble. Just disagreeing with what you consider "grown up"

[–]No-Cloud-6941 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You’re not ASKING for the roof over your head. You’re demanding it because they owe you. That’s a massive distinction.

I am a parent and have an adult kid at home. But there are expectations of them living here. I also spent their life teaching them the value of hard work, nothing is owed, and you have to work hard.

And my dude, struggling is part of growing up! How do you think people learn resilience? If your best argument is slaves and peasants then there is not much hope for you.

Consider pausing and doing some serious self reflection. You may come to the same conclusion but the fact that you won’t even consider another point of view is a big red flag on your level of selfishness right now.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I explicitly denied that perspective. Its not about who owes who. It's about not treating people poorly. I would probably be far more inclined to help with whatever responsibilities they want to throw on me if they weren't as toxic as they are. Its like walking around with two ogres who shout at everyone at 800 decibels and arent afraid to throw some hands and break some furniture. When people want something, they ask nicely. They don't shout and call each other names and give each other grief until someone bends. Thats the truly childlike behavior right there. I feel like kids should want to help their parents. It's a psychologcal fact that when people are treated poorly, they don't want to help those who treat them that way. And it doesnt matter what parents do for them if parents tone and attitude is shit all throughout.

If you are kind, they will be kind in turn. People can be really wonderful that way, and im sad i wasnt born to a family i could get along with. Because i have seen the greener grass for sure. I cant consider their point of view because they are insane (and would probably be diagnosed this way if they were to see a psychiatrist) and i, miraculously, am not.

[–]Irritable_Curmudgeon 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Why would i throw money to the void and pay rent if i have the ability not to? 

Because you no longer want to live at home. Instead, you're actively choosing to continue to live in this environment.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

True. Im sacrificing mental stability and growth. But, every year i do this is huge for me from an investment perspective. While it's the case that, in this sense, i reap what i sow, it is also still the case that these people are disgusting and have no excuse for acting the way they do. Both can be true, i suppose. How can i not be spiteful towards them when they physically attack me and break locks on my door. They wake me up in the morning, 800decibel screams about a missing remote. Shits my home too. Treating me like that, they deserve my spite

[–]Irritable_Curmudgeon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You can be spiteful, for sure.

Legally, though, it's not your home. You have no ownership interest in that property.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lmao where is saul goodman

[–]SendLGaMQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (5 children)

It just baffles me that people who ive lived with for 20 years are unable to give me a roof for several more.

Why does this baffle you? You are an adult now not the child you were for the first 18 years of your life.

Instead of being pissed that you are now being asked to act like a self-sufficient working adult maybe you should be grateful for the extra years your parent has already given you to live with them when they did not have to do so.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Because it costs them nothing. Parents who kick out their kids just because they are 18-24 and working is disgusting, especially in the highest cost of living city in the world. There is zero change to their stability, lifestyle, habits, etc. My stability, on the other hand, is massively changed from moving out. My parents own multiple homes, cars, pay for a maid, etc. They lose nothing from letting me get my bearings financially.

[–]SendLGaMQuality Contributor 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Your sense of entitlement is epic.

Once you are an adult your parents owe you nothing else and can legally end your tenancy in their home and if you will not willingly leave they can go through the eviction process and have you removed.

And if they do that your chances of being able to rent from someone else is going to be severely hampered.

But that is all on you not them.

[–]Firm-Donkey6453[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I don't ask for anything but a roof over my head for a bit. If that is considered entitlement, then i hope you never be a parent. Why even have kids if you're setting up such a deadline for them: "oh i dont owe you anything once your an adult!" Like okay? Is that how you think you maintain a good relationship with them? Why such an arbitrary insistance to kick them out at adulthood in the big 2026? Its not a matter of who owes who. Its a matter of how do you treat people kindly enough to maintain a good relationship with them. You would apply this to roomates as well, wouldnt you? You would apply this for your own mother, or friend, if they needed a place to stay? Or would you say: "well now you owe me"?

[–]SendLGaMQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is a legal sub not a my idea of social responsibility sub.

Your parents do not legally owe you anything once you become an adult regardless of it being 2026.

And yes. Your demanding like a spoiled brat that your parents continue to house and support you once you are an adult IS most definitely entitlement.

Grow up. Your are legally an adult and need to take responsibility for yourself.

This is my last reply to you.