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u/PeanutGrinderZ_2091

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What is it like to fail a subject, and how do you bounce back from that.

commented

I failed two major courses that significantly held me back.

Initially, I got sad about it since I was an achiever in the past. So I decided to stop talking to everyone I know for a month. I knew that my problem was not really that I couldn’t keep up with academics, but with starting assignments because I believed that my outputs would be subpar if I’m not at the perfect condition to work. In addition, I was over fixated on people’s view of me—I wanted to look smart and maintain that image. I think that I was able to achieve that though I felt like a fraud and was worried that people would discover that I’m actually pretty stupid. This is worsened by the fact that my best friends were performing excellently in college (consistent deans lister), and I was jealous since we had roughly the same grades during high school. I also felt really bitter about people who had high grades but, I knew, shamelessly cheated on tests and heavily relied on AI for their papers.

After spending a long time introspecting and developing habits that cultivated my interests in reading (primarily through notetaking), I was able to at least alleviate some of my maladaptive habits. Whenever I was in a good mood, I would take advantage of that short period to plan ahead and prevent actions which I know will start and prolong my pessimistic and apathetic attitude. From watching countless of mental health videos (since I’m too scared to confront a therapist), I concluded that mental health is mainly concerned with the malleability of the construction of your identity, and awareness of what’s in your head and what’s actually happening in reality.

I usually feel like a burden to everyone I know since I don’t really contribute much and, nowadays, my identity revolves around my academic performance. However, I truthfully stopped deeply caring about that. I started forcing myself to believe that if I tried harder than anyone else, I would be above average despite not being born smarter or more talented than others. Whenever the results do not reflect my hard work (e.g., I fail test despite studying all week), I just respond with “it is what it is”, then see what I can do better next time.

I should stress this more: “awareness is key to staying positive”. For this reason, I take a lot of notes to make sure that I am always mentally present and actively and, as close as possible, accurately thinking. This is applied not only in my studies but in my plans, hobbies, conversations, and etc.

Lastly, though this sounds super silly and I acknowledge may not apply to everyone, I watched Evangelion and became happier after extracting a positive message from it. It genuinely transformed a large part of my thought process and started my route to working harder to improve myself.

Although I’m still not a deans lister, I can finally start studying and working on my assignments without excessive amount of fear holding me back. I also think that I perform significantly better than all myself in previous terms, even with more course work/load. Right now, I just try to enjoy the process of working instead of worrying too much about the results.

How to use books efficiently
How to use books efficiently

When I was in high school, I would usually read books to prepare for a test but because of online classes, I got too used to just reading my professor's slides, re-watching their lectures, or just looking for someone in YouTube to discuss the topic. Whenever I read the recommended textbooks, I either feel really sleepy, have a difficult time understanding what I'm reading, or be able to read one chapter but end up using the whole day. I wanna learn how to read better so that I can actually absorb and learn from what I'm reading. My current methods for studying is pretty okay for now, but I feel like avoiding books might affect me later in the future. I realized I'm horrible when it comes to reading. What can I do about it?

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My parents bought online cameras in many of the rooms in our house. Is there any way to disable it?

commented

The first sentence you said reminded me of “Why do you care about privacy? Is there something that you are hiding?” question. I don’t have a problem with my parents monitoring me, but I’m just concerned with how secure these online cameras are since I don’t really feel comfortable with the idea that random strangers could also possibly see me if they gain access to these cameras. I really want to convince my parents to not use it, however, they’re not taking me seriously. They usually would only take it seriously if they find it in a Facebook post or something.

My parents bought online cameras in many of the rooms in our house. Is there any way to disable it?
My parents bought online cameras in many of the rooms in our house. Is there any way to disable it?

I remember hearing from somewhere that these cameras are easy to hack or something. I tried to convince my parents to stop using these online cameras because of that but they still won't take me seriously. So, I would just pull out the wires when they leave. The problem is when they come back home they always scold me for turning it off. I feel very uncomfortable with the cameras on, is there any ways to disable it without physically turning it off by pulling the wires?

Random Freezes Every Game
Random Freezes Every Game

Whenever I play, the game freezes for like 15 seconds at random times in the game (I get like 5-15 freezes each match). I’ve been looking for solutions in this subreddit but I can’t find anything that solves this issue. I’m using the lutris installer version (I tried wine-lol but it doesn’t work). I’ve capped my fps to 60 and I play on the lowest settings.

Specs:

OS: EndeavorOS

Host: 81W8 Lenovo Ideapad S145-15IIL

Kernel: 5.16.2-arch1-1

Resolution: 1366x768

DE: Plasma 5.23.5

WM: KWin

CPU: Intel i5-1035G1 (8) @ 3.600GHz

GPU: Intel Iris Plus Graphics G1

Memory: 4657MiB / 11528MiB

I’ve borrowed the same laptop model but with windows (also 8 gb ram instead of 12 and with an ssd instead of an hdd) from a friend and their game runs smoothly without any random freezes. Is there a solution to my problem?

Edit: I enabled character inking and it fixed the problem