Hey, so why is it called the Grand Universal Theory Of Weirdness anyway?

We know on some level why Ford was so desperate to find the answer to the theory. Like, he wanted to return as a hero instead of a freak. He wanted to be seen as more than just his six fingers. So he hinged his self-image on being a Lone Genius, and strove to find the answer to that theory so he could be famous and beloved and recognized for his intelligence. A household name up there with Einstein or Tesla.

And he believed that if he could just find the answer to where Gravity Falls’s weirdness came from, he’d finally prove his worth. Anything less than that- complete success, the breakthrough of the century, becoming a famous and universally loved scientist, going above and beyond, going down in history- was, in his mind, him failing. He could’ve just published his findings on Gravity Falls by themselves, as Fiddleford states repeatedly. But in his mind, if he did that, he’d be lost to history. He’d be forgotten. If Ford doesn’t excel, it means he’s a failure.

We know that, Journal 3’s subtext lays that out pretty clearly. But I think there’s more to it. More to why Ford was so desperate to find the Grand Universal Theory Of Weirdness. I haven’t really seen anyone else make this observation, but it’s something I picked up on and realized when I got to the first time Fiddleford tells Ford to just publish his findings.

ALT

Because right here, Fiddleford just refers to it as the Grand Theory. Ford even puts it in quotation marks, as though that’s the exact term Fidds used. Which draws attention to the NAME of it, and specifically that one word. Universal.

“Universal” implies it’s going beyond Gravity Falls, instead going to explain all weirdness, everywhere, across America and across the world. Ford doesn’t just want to explain why Gravity Falls specifically is weird, he wants an explanation for where ALL weirdness comes from. Why it happens in the first place. Why it can exist in the most unlikely of places.

…Why across the country from the biggest hotspot for oddities in the world, a little boy in the Lead Paint District of New Jersey can be born with six fingers on each hand.

It’s a universal theory. All weirdness. Everywhere.

Including him.

Ford wants that Grand Universal Theory Of Weirdness because he wants it to explain not just why Gravity Falls is like this, but why he’s like this. Why he was born with his extra finger. Why he’s always been drawn to the strange. Why he’s always failed at socialization and understanding other human beings. (Why he’s not attracted to what he should be attracted to, when you take into account his canonical queerness.)

Ford wants the Grand Universal Theory Of Weirdness because it’s going to explain why he’s a freak.

Is it any wonder that he became so desperate to find it? Why he wasn’t just content with publishing a report on Gravity Falls, instead set on being the one to find the reason for it? Why when Fiddleford suggested ditching it (and then eventually did), he took it so personally?

Because if Ford ditches the Grand Universal Theory Of Weirdness, not only will he be forgotten, not only will he have failed to go above and beyond, but if he ditches that theory, it means he never finds out why he’s like this.

There’s no reason for everything he’s been through, no grand calling for him, no meaning behind any of it. It means everything he went through, all the bullying and isolation and ostracization he suffered, it was all for nothing.

It means Stanford Pines is just some six-fingered freak who can’t make friends and can’t exist as a person, and there is no beautiful, strange, grand reason for that.

And that’s unbearable.