C.H.U.D.

"C.H.U.D." is one of those semi-name oddities that always stood out on video store shelves when I was a youth (lamenting the 'parental lock' on all horror movies I so badly wanted to rent), what with the darkened figures congregating around a manhole, eyes glowing white. Years later, I have finally gotten a chance to see the film, and my response is pretty mixed: it lies somewhere between the Land of Campy and the Dominion of Creepy, with some elements of the Retro Rest Area thrown in for good measure. "C.H.U.D." takes a formula familiar to anybody who's seen a '50s 'Big Bug' flick: Evil Guys In Suits are dumping toxic waste where it doesn't belong (in this case, the sewers below Manhattan), thus inspiring some unexpected and unpleasant side effects in the homeless people living under the city--they transform into C.H.U.D.s (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers), reptilian-looking monsters with a taste for human flesh. While the premise is extremely cheesy, director Douglas Cheek teeters the line between camp and horror rather well--not all-out serious nor a straight romp, it strikes a fair balance (the creepily minimalist, synth-driven score helps, too). The cast of semi-name actors (John Heard, Kim Greist, and a wonderfully wiggy Daniel Stern) treat the material at face value, but never wink at the camera, thus engendering a bizarre charm to the events that transpire. Unfortunately, even for a film that plays as fast and loose as "C.H.U.D." does, it leaves a few too many unresolved plot points for my liking. But if you want something a fair distance from the mainstream radar, greased with the grimy spirit of the 1980s, look no further than "C.H.U.D."

Forgot the bad title this is wonderful horror film , great cast, the creatures look cool and the story is good Worth a watch if you like 80s horror it makes a nice change from slashers film from that era

A movie more well known today for its infamous acronym of a title than anything else, "C.H.U.D." (short for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers...as well as something else) is a shoddily made, dingy affair from 1984 that still manages to somehow entertain. In it, the city of New York has come under attack by these monstrous denizens of the sewer lines and subway system (or is that a redundancy?), the result of the ill-considered dumping of radioactive waste by those bastids at the NRC, and a beleaguered cop (Christopher Curry), a hippy-type soup kitchen owner (Daniel Stern) and a hunky fashion photographer (John Heard) try to get to the, uh, bottom of the escalating nastiness. Befitting its grimy underground milieu and many seedy characters, the film has a dark, dirty feel but is still fun to watch; "C.H.U.D."'s no dud, but it sure piles on the crud! The film would surely have benefited from a larger budget--its glowing-orbed monsters look pretty ridiculous when seen clearly--but still features decent-enough acting, an effectively somber synth score by Cooper Hughes, an explosive shower scene, John Goodman and Jay Thomas (of all people!) as a pair of goofy cops, and some mildly effective gross-outs. As far as monster movies go, it is nothing special, but still fun enough, and deserving of much more than the "Bomb" rating that the drips at Maltinville have given it. And really, how can you dislike any film that manages to quote from both the Grateful Dead's "Uncle John's Band" AND Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime"? The picture is well presented on this Anchor Bay DVD, and includes some interesting extras as well. As revealed in the book "DVD Delirium," not to be missed is the hidden "Easter egg" extra, located by clicking on the C.H.U.D.'s eyes in the main menu. Fans of the film's female star, Kim Greist, should certainly appreciate this one! And oh...I love the appropriate name of the actor who plays the film's coroner: Henry Yuk!

I don't know why I always believed this to be a comedy with bad acting. On the contrary, this is a serious movie with good actors and a pretty good script.

So, C.H.U.D. stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, or Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal, as it is later revealed. Either way, that's a mouthful! Considering this is a monster movie, we didn't really get to see enough monsters, did we? Instead, the film played like a dramatic thriller, with monsters now and then. Despite this fact, I rather enjoyed the movie as it is. It was an interesting mystery thriller (to a certain extent), and I actually never found it boring. I enjoyed the characters, who were nicely fleshed out so I cared about all of them.

I must admit, the creature designs are bad. At times it was obvious they were only hand props, or a guy in a suit - with glowing eyes... yup...! Let's blame the budget, shall we? In general this was rather entertaining.

One of the opening images in "C.H.U.D" is a full-on shot of a truck banner reading "Slow Moving Vehicle." That's the most valid image in the whole movie.

Under Manhattan, mysterious creatures terrorize the homeless who live in the sewers, and begin striking those who walk the streets as well. When one disappearance involves a precinct captain's wife, the captain starts investigating the situation by asking around a neighborhood soup kitchen.

The captain, Bosch, is played by Christopher Curry, a here-and-gone Martin Mull lookalike whose casual handling of his wife's disappearance would come off as absurd if we hadn't previously gotten a load of what she looks like. While Curry is the main actor, two better-known names have key supporting roles, Daniel Stern as the grimy soup kitchen director (only the destitute would accept a meal from him) and John Heard as a photographer.

Heard's character has little to do with the story, and the way he's brought in is lazy and forced. He has some photos of streetpeople, and one homeless woman calls him for bail. He takes a photo of a gored leg that shows something sinister is going on, though all I saw was bad make-up. Through most of the film, we see him blow off deadlines and interact unaffectionately with his live-in girlfriend, played by Kim Griest. Heard here is smug and charmless, yet we are supposed to be impressed by him because he's played by the great John Heard.

The torpor and aimlessness of "C.H.U.D." amaze me. Sewer creatures rising up in the big city is not a bad concept, but not only does the film fail to do anything with it, we get a lot of inert moments where people trade cliché-ridden dialogue like: "Keep a lid on it." "Nothing, huh? Sounds interesting." "Watch your step, Bosch, remember you don't belong here." "I don't believe you! What are you trying to hide?"

There's a stonewalling government official played by George Martin who bulges his eyes and sneers at every question and gives us an obvious central villain since the budget is too cheap to show us much of the monsters. The creatures are meant to horrify but merely look like inept Halloween window displays, while the unbearable synthesized score sounds like a seven-year-old toying with a department-store display organ. Then you get goofy sequences like the one where Griest is in a shower, gets drenched in blood, and is next seen dry and unfazed. Must have set the showers controls on "Bobby Ewing."

The whole movie is like that, jumping from effect to effect, hitting us with little shock moments here and there, not tying anything in. This is not scary, just annoying.

It's true I didn't see the director's cut, which is a bit longer and shows one C.H.U.D. attack in the middle rather than at the end of the film, where it makes less sense. But whatever the editing, the product on screen is deadly dull, and surprisingly unfunny given its enduring cult reputation. "C.H.U.D" gets mentioned as an askew satire, but just isn't in the same class as "Tremors" or "Return of the Living Dead," let alone an Evil Dead film. To recite another cliché: You have been warned.