All of our stories, starting with the newest!
Customer: “The drinks on your menu listed under ‘Hot’, that means they’re hot, right?”
Me: “Uh… yes.”
Customer: “I mean, like hot as in “ouch that’s hot”, not “oh wow, they’re so hot right now”.”
Me: “It’s referring to temperature, not popularity.”
Customer: “Well, everything is an online trend right now, so I wasn’t sure.”
Me: *Looking at the menu.* “Well, unless a simple hot Americano is trending on TikTok right now for some reason, it only means temperature.”
Back in the day, I was a new hire and had to take a skills test to prove I knew how to use Excel. I’m talking about it with my boss.
Me: “Even though I proved I knew it in my interview?”
Boss: “We’ve been burned too many times by interviewees who outright lied and tried to fake it until they made it. They never made it.”
Fair enough, so I took the test.
The problem was, the test required click-by-click, key-by-key adherence to a recorded script. If the instruction said to save, and the script clicked File, Save, but you typed Ctrl-F, S, or clicked the Save icon, sorry, that’s wrong. If you had to move from C3 to E5 and pushed right right down down, instead of down down right right, sorry, that’s wrong.
This caused me to fail the first time, and I was telling my boss about it.
Me: “Did the person making the test know how to use Excel at all? Did they not think that a scripted guide is a terrible way to test someone’s Excel skills?”
Boss: *Smiling.* “You sure seem to know how to fix it! Congrats, guess what your first assignment is going to be?”
Now I’m not so sure if I failed or passed that test…
I work in a superstore with a small phone section.
Customer: “I wanna return my phone. I have the receipt.”
Me: “Okay, thanks for the receipt. Give me the phone, and we can start the return process.”
Customer: “I don’t have it.”
Me: “I can’t return it without the product.”
Customer: “It’s broken so you don’t need it. I just want my money back. I gave you the receipt. That’s all you should need.”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s not how this works.”
Customer: “I want to speak to the manager then.”
My manager comes over and the conversation repeats.
Manager: “Ma’am, to return something, you need to actually return it.”
Customer: “But it’s broken, why would you want it?”
Manager: “We need to have it back. That’s how it works.”
Customer: “Ugh, can’t I just say I lost it?”
Manager: “That still doesn’t solve the issue. We need the product back before we can give you any kind of refund on it.”
Customer: “Ugh! Why?!”
Manager: *Prints a test receipt from the checkout and writes ‘return’ on it.* “Here’s a receipt for your return.”
Customer: “But I don’t have any money.”
Manager: “Yes, but that’s a receipt for it.”
Customer: “But I don’t have it.”
Manager: “Do you get it now?”
I thought she was trying to scam a free phone, but she was just stupid, because she came back with the broken phone and got her refund, but still seemed super confused why we’d want it back because “it’s broken, you can’t play Candy Crush on it or nothing”.
My friend and I worked at a fast-food chain together that stayed open 24 hours. If you were unlucky enough to get an overnight, you start at 11 PM and finish at 8 AM. If you are unlucky enough to get the overnights, you’re almost guaranteed to be unlucky enough to work one before your vacation. Meaning you technically work eight hours on your first day of the vacation.
My friend had requested their holiday in advance and stated that, on the request, they had a plane flight that very day, so they could not do an overnight shift the night before. The scheduling manager didn’t care, so they were scheduled on an overnight anyway.
My friend was angry, asked them again to change it, and they refused. My friend then clarified their holiday began ON THAT DAY, to which the manager said yes.
My friend then showed up for his overnight, completed one hour, and clocked off at exactly midnight. When asked why they were “walking off their shift,” he informed the manager that today was officially his holiday, so he didn’t have to work, left the store, and went on vacation as planned.
Surprisingly, they didn’t argue with him on it, though they weren’t pleased! They tried to look at issuing a warning, but had to settle with a stern “please tell us next time and we’ll sort out the problem” when he got back.
I am pleased to say they are a little more cautious about giving people an overnight before their holiday time, though…
I’m working at a Natural History Museum. A visitor points to a diorama of some cavemen and wants to complain about the sign.
I check the sign:
Sign: “Paleolithic Cavemen society operated as nomadic hunter-gatherer bands of twenty to sixty people. These highly egalitarian, communal groups relied on shared resources and division of labor, moving seasonally to track game and gather vegetation.”
Me: “What’s the issue with the sign, sir?”
Visitor: “I don’t wanna bring my son here and have him thinking we all descended from communists! Take that sign down!”
Related:
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 14
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 13
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 12
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 11
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 10
