But a Jape

“But we don’t worship them because they’re celebrities! We worship them because they are genuinely supernatural avatars of goodness far beyond our mortal capabilities!”

– some redditor, meta-ironically

Redditors don’t actually hate worshipping celebrities, they just think people are worshipping the wrong celebrities. Granted, I have no idea what redditors mean when they say “worship” – I’ve seen this accusation lobbed at others for simply enjoying a celebrity’s work, gossiping about their lives, or just being inspired by them? And it’s always a certain kind of celebrity whose “worship” gets called out – Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, some Kardashian – but nobody ever brings up hating celebrity worship when internet dorks call Mr. Rogers, Steve Irwin, and Bob Ross the “Holy Trinity of Wholesome” (hated typing that, by the way).

Look, I personally don’t like it when anyone gets idolized, celebrity or not, but it’s the pompous hypocrisy that Reddit exudes that really gets to me. And yeah, Keanu seems like a nice guy, but c’mon people, he’s not a good actor! We all used to know that! But somewhere along the line, people went from, “He seems really nice!” to “Can you BELIEVE Keanu Reeves never won an Oscar?!” For fuckin’ what? John Wick?! Are you guys fuckin’ listening to yourselves?!

– James