The myth of the three-year-old is wrong, but I also think it's not wrong.

I am Mami-chan, a full-time public health nurse raising two daughters, aged 5 and 3. I am aiming to start my own business because I have questions about how organizations and work are structured.

I'm not starting a business because I hate being a public health nurse; rather, I want to step up so that I can do what I want to do while still utilizing my skills as a public health nurse.

So, today I'd like to talk a little bit about child-rearing from the perspective of a public health nurse. It's been a while since I've had a full day off to spend with my children, and children are precious, after all.

To get to the point, the myth of the three-year-old is a lie!! People today are told not to believe in such things.

It is certainly true that the idea that a mother must be glued to her child until they are three or else child-rearing will fail is wrong. That has never been the case, not even in the past.

In times when we didn't have nuclear families, many family members raised children together, and our ancestors in agrarian societies worked hard while carrying their children on their backs. Dual-income households have been the norm since long ago.

The myth of the three-year-old, which says that a mother must be the one to watch her child, is wrong. That's impossible. Or rather, that is the kind of parenting you should actually avoid, because it doesn't foster social skills.

However... the growth of a child up to the age of three is still suuuuuuper important!!!

This is the point I want to emphasize. The foundation of a human being is built by the age of three, and various challenges are piled on top of that. So, if that foundation is shaky, things really won't go well.

I support people in various situations, including children with developmental differences, adults who are shut-ins, children who refuse to go to school, domestic violence, people with mental illnesses, and cases of lonely death. Each life has a story, and there is almost always an episode that suggests they have lived with difficulty. Everyone stumbles at some point, but looking at the field, it is undeniable that whether or not someone has resilience and flexibility is largely related to how they were raised.

There are many moms and dads who often make their children make heavy choices from a young age or demand a high level of development from them. I think this is partly due to high expectations, but also because parents lack peace of mind and don't have the capacity for child-rearing.

I think this is a problem with the social system of this era. The fact that dual-income households are the norm is really sacrificing the hearts of children. That said, if you look at whether poverty is decreasing because people are working, it isn't. I am engaged in child-rearing support activities because I want the children around me, at the very least, to grow up happy and free.

Anyway, I want you to cherish and value your children until they are three. Oh, and of course, please keep cherishing them after they turn three too (laughs).
It's okay to leave your children in someone else's care. If that makes your interaction with your child richer, then that's fine. People in the past worked too, and they had relatives and neighbors look after their children a lot. It is more stressful for a mom to do all the child-rearing herself. You need to use different parts of your brain. A mom's mental health comes first. Because that is directly linked to the child's mental health. It is very directly linked. When I get frustrated, my children also get cranky.

Even when there are times like that, I want you to have the feeling that your children are so precious that you could just eat them up.

As in Mr. Sasaki's book, the idea that "you only need to do what makes your child happy" is really easy to understand.

I think it's better to distinguish between spoiling and pampering, but if you keep that in mind, I want to say that while they are children, you should just do what makes them happy. Then the children will calm down, and the mom will calm down too. And if the mom also lives by doing things that make her happy, she will be stable, and the child will be stable. Instead of thinking about all the difficult aspects of child-rearing, I just want you to think that your children are cuuuuuute. That is my wish.

https://www.amazon.co.jp/子どもが喜ぶことだけすればいい-佐々木-正美/dp/4591168948/ref=sr_1_10?dchild=1&qid=1635888600&s=books&sr=1-10&text=佐々木+正美