The State of the Union is Fucked

I didn’t even have to watch that bullshit speech last night. I knew it was going to be a trainwreck. Donald Trump is a traitor to America and an embarrassment on the world stage. He’s wrecked our country in just six weeks.

So hell fucking no, I wasn’t about to watch him brag and lie for over an hour and a half. His slack-jawed, mouth-breathing Cult 45 members can do that.

Reading about the low points without having to hear his irritating, grating voice coming from his face-anus was more than enough. And there were plenty. Just ask Democratic Representative Al Green, who was removed from the MAGA propaganda sit-in for calling out the Count of Mostly-Crisco’s lies early into the evening.

Good for him. No need to sit there and listen to the Grifter-in-Chief suck his own cock in front of the world.

I’m sure I can convey his message just from the things I’ve read about the speech. And from knowing what I know about the dishonest, insecure, petty man that Jabba the Trump is. Plus my version of his speech would be funnier.

Ok, I’ll do it. Here we go.

Welcome to the greatest speech you’ll ever hear! Given by America’s favorite president of all time…