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[Course] Step 2: Disrupt Your Defensiveness

Pivot #2: Watch your defenses instead of wielding your defenses.

Openheartedness isn’t a personality trait, it’s a practice.

More specifically, openheartedness is the practice that turns triggers into togetherness. And that practice becomes most important precisely when you least want to practice it.

I kicked off this session of The Less Triggered Teachings by sharing a story from my own marriage, when I was absolutely convinced I was being the world’s greatest husband and father. Helping. Serving. Showing up. Until one small comment from my wife revealed the truth:

Part of me wasn’t simply loving, it was performing for approval.

From there, this session explored these core insights:

  • Some of our most “openhearted” behaviors can actually be closed hearts in clever disguise.

  • You don’t solve your defenses, you soften to them.

  • The defensive parts of us aren’t enemies to destroy—they’re younger versions of ourselves trying to keep us safe from loneliness, rejection, shame, disconnection, etc.

  • Transformation begins the moment we stop attacking those parts with criticism and start welcoming them with compassion.

  • A practical framework for instantly turning disconnection into connection, by confessing our closing.

I concluded my keynote with this quote from The Road Less Triggered:

There’s no such thing as a perfect world, but a more peaceful world is well within our watchful reach.

And then we concluded the call with a deeply meaningful time of conversation, Q&A, and coaching, which proved that to be true.

Enjoy!


Paid members, I’d love to continue the conversation from the call with you in the comments.

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