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Had a disappointing visit
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Lmaooo as a black person who moved here from the south, people here aren't that social with strangers. Very reserved types. I'm the type to sometimes nod when I pass strangers and only in MA have I seen other black folks ignore/pretend they didn't see the passing salute. I'm used to it now but I still wish there was more warmth to people.
Lol 5 years later my husband has finally (mostly) stopped saying "hi, how are ya?" To anyone who makes eye contact.
Nodding to someone in passing was always a thing that was normal and I did it in DC, LA….but when I got to Boston, it was slowly socialized out of me.
I feel anytime I get into a conversation with a stranger, it almost always turns out to be a person in the midst of a mental health episode.
Got stopped on the street the other day, started normal, guy complained about how “no one says hi anymore.” Ended after I could break it off and get away from the schizophrenic ramblings
Sorry you had a bad experience. Boston is definitely not a place I'd expect folks to strike up convos in public. Sounds like your experiment was a success though as you saved yourself from a bad move.
virtually nobody here is afraid of me for being black. never have been. over a decade running. some days i wonder about these experientially irreconcilable supposed experiences being told
I think this is what's missing here for new visitors - People just don't like to be bothered in public. I generally will cross the street if someone looks too friendly or if they are likely to bother me. I don't want to talk to you about your dog or your garden, I want to get where I'm going without being annoyed or accosted by someone with an agenda.
So, I won't speak to the racial stuff, because I'm sure that's accurate. But I did want to comment here as someone from the south: people in Boston don't strike up conversations with strangers. It's just not a thing and has nothing to do with your race. And people will absolutely think you are loony-toons for doing it.
Basically the only people who walk up to strangers and start conversing with them in Boston are homeless drug addicts trying to warm up to you before asking for a hand out, or the incredibly old and lonely who have no one else to turn to. (EDIT: Oh, and the cultist. A good 20-30% of strangers who try to talk to me in Boston are Witnessess or some other cult group trying to induct me into their cult. Probably nothing puts me off strangers trying to walk up to me more than this. If you're a younger man trying to talk to a stranger, especially if you were dressed well, people probably assumed you were trying to convert them.)
Like, you can make friends with strangers. But not until you've gotten to know them, if you get me? I've made great friends at say the dog park, but not until I had naturally run into them there like 5-10 times.
lol I am from South Carolina but have lived in MA since 2001 so I definitely have more of a new englander personality. When my mom comes up to visit she always tries to talk to strangers and it drives me crazyyyyy. Like stop, the T driver does not want to talk to you!
I won’t speak to the racial aspect either, but I’m sure your perceptions are valid. I’ll just say that I moved from the midwest to Cambridge; experienced people here as willing to help out if you need help, but not conversational, unless they know you. It’s not snobbery; it’s more like self-protectiveness.
Or people trying to get you to sign some petition. It sucks that these people are the friendliest on the street, so I strongly associate "outwardly friendly to me in public" with "trying to get me to do something".
As a Bostonian - this is accurate
Lived here most of my life, when a stranger talks to me I immediately think “what do they want from me and why”
It might be less of a race thing and more of a slow, you're in my way, why are you speaking to me kind of thing. I moved from Houston to Boston last June. I've noticed when people are 2-by on sidewalks people will just cross the street to go around them. Massholes want to be left alone. Only times I've ever had Massholes talk to me is when heading to a sporting event on the T. It isn't the friendliest state but they'll help you when you want help
Half the people on my bus going into Davis in the morning are POC. I’m not trying to disqualify your experience, but people here aren’t super friendly with strangers in most settings. Valid point that people aren’t overly friendly and the food scene is terrible compared to NYC
It’s possible people crossed the street so they weren’t in your way. I regularly cross quiet streets as a kind gesture to give people the sidewalk if there’s a tree, a dog or if they are multiple people with kids in tow. Also sometimes bc I’m in a rush and our sidewalks are small.
I’m black and live in Somerville for 10 years originally from Houston. Boston is a very proper and conservative social environment. (Not politically) however most people are very uptight. This isn’t a common trait in cities in America so a lot of people are surprised. It’s New England racism. I’ve lived in Somerville for 10 years. At the bar Orleans right next to Dave’s fresh pasta. An elderly local man called me negress. I told him that’s a rude thing to say to your neighbor. He said it didn’t matter how long I’d lived here I would never be part of the community. Bartender did kick him out.
Woooow, can't believe you got hit with the negress! I'm also black and from the deep south, haven't heard that one but MA was the first time I got called the n word to my face 😭
Sorry about your bad experience u/LowAdvantage4150 I live here with kids and wish there were more black families around. I tend to be friendlier with some strangers, especially if they have kids the same age as mine but finding a community took some time. If you and your family ever come back this way hit me up!
I'm sorry you had to deal with that--that sounds like a old-school townie to me, and yes, a hell of a lot of them are seriously racist. I get the impression that the restaurant caters to that crowd to some degree, which is probably why the bartender didn't do anything; the asshole was probably a regular, and nobody wants to lose their business.
deep breath IIRC Somerville used to be known for being home to mainly working-class and lower-middle-class white people, who tended to be very clannish re: their own neighborhoods and sometimes aggressive re; "new people" moving into "their" neighborhoods. (I apologize if I'm completely wrong about this, but that's the impression I've gotten from a lot of older people whose families have been here for multiple generations.) They're pissed about "yuppies," students, and pretty much anyone moving in that hasn't been born in the area; it definitely applies to minorities, and a certain amount of snobbery on the part of the technorati toward everyone else in town doesn't help, either. Anyway, there's a lot of barely hidden subcurrents among the people who live here; it sounds as if you ran into some of them, and I'm sorry they were assholes to you.
Who told you housing was “so much more affordable”? Metro Boston is absurdly expensive for housing, you write like you think you’re moving to Buffalo
The one thing I find hard to believe is the "people crossed the street" bit. Pedestrians in Somerville are more than used to encountering freaks of all colors and persuasions on their daily walk to the T. I don't dismiss accounts of racism anywhere, very much including Somerville, but that part just seems...made up.
lol right? “I’m used to standing between a ranting drunk and a fented out husk while I wait for the train, but walking near a family that doesn’t look like me? Well that’s where I draw the line”
10000% attributing a very normal occurrence (crossing the street to make space for a family slowly walking together) to racism
I'll be completely honest, that bit struck me as odd. I fully concede I didn't experience this and have no way of knowing, but if you stick a gun to my head and ask me to be honest I'd say I don't believe that part. I have no doubt of the overall experience but that to me seems a bit of an extra portion to make the area sound like Dante's Inferno.
I hear this big time. I’m white but moved to Somerville after living in Philly for most of my 20s and I miss the diversity. Despite our very progressive reputation and voting record I find people here can be very snooty and closeminded. Sorry that you experienced this with your family. I’ve also visited NYC and felt more of a sense of community in some neighborhoods there so I get where you’re coming from.
I also used to live in Philly and just visited and it struck me how willing people are to talk to one another there compared to Boston. It’s not something I thought much about while living in Philly, but now after living in Boston for 6 years and going back, there’s a stark contrast.
Come to Malden instead! We are less expensive than Somerville, have 2 Orange Line stops and are super diverse and welcoming.
Did something change in the last few years? Cape Verdean wife and I lived in Somerville for 5 years in the 2010's and we both loved it for the diversity, things to do, food, and walkability.
I can totally buy the shoplifting thing, but get real for a sec, nobody is crossing the street to avoid a random couple and their child, I don’t even see people cross the street to avoid actively tweaking crackheads in Somerville. I fully believe you experienced some form of discrimination and judgement, but not every single person is out to get you 😭