Rant

You raised your right hand and took an oath where others wouldn't. You have helped keep the Army a wholly voluntary force.

That's something to be proud of.

I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” -J.R.R Tolkien

OP, as someone who missed an opportunity to deploy into a combat zone, I can understand how you feel. I am very resentful. However, whether we like it or not we can’t control all of the circumstances in our lives. Sometimes we do have a say and sometimes it’s out of control. The best we can do is control how we feel.

It took a long time for me to accept why I didn’t go. I really wanted to. But even without it, I can still point to cases where I had a meaningful impact for someone. Things I am proud of. Helping a soldier grieve the loss of a loved one. Escorting a soldier to the ER for suicidal ideation. Helping a soldier challenge themselves.

I am sure if you think about it they are times where someone was proud of you. Do you have anything like that? Helped a soldier get promoted, learn a new skill, helped someone.

I understand the feeling, but envy is destructive. There is a SF guy who become a pro MMA fighter and still made up crazy shit because he felt inadequate compared to others.

You showed up, you went where you were told and did your duty. There is nothing to apologize for.

Not really big into the self deprecation stuff. If you can't find anything you're proud about from 14years of service then you've been asleep at the wheel for too long. There's a quote I like to tell my Soldier's, Envy is the thief of happiness.

I went to AIT and met dozens of cool people. Some I still have added on social media. I went to ALC and met about half of them. I stopped counting how many I knew from AIT. 

It caught me off guard because I felt that I was behind my peers because I didn't make SSG for the first two months into my primary zone. Some of those peers were still SGTs trying to make points.

We all spoke about the things we did. Some deployed, others saw combat, some spent all their lives in a SCIF, some in tradoc and others just did random Army shit, such as preparing family day events or running details. 

Our experiences varied so drastically and it truly defined what kind of leaders we became. Some were very laid back others hard and gritty. some had four racks others were barely starting their third.

I've been in for about 10 years now, airborne, 1 combat deployment. Never seen combat. My buddy, several combat deployments, has been in firefights, air assault, airborne, jungle, Ranger, MSM, first look SFC and he's been in maybe about two years longer than I have.

And yet he has come to me for advice about numerous things, and I have come to him for advice. 

Shit what was I going with this? Eh it ain't that deep. Take pride in your accomplishments and everything you've done whiling serving. 

I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for the mostly supportive messages. You guys are right, I probably need to look deeper and identify things and moments I am proud of.

I also wanted to say for any current and/or future soldiers that my lack of combat experience has never been used against me in any way. My chain of command really doesn’t care about that, all they care is about current and future performance.

You did your time. Be proud of that. Being deployed or getting schools isn't everything.

Deployments are just an opportunity to do Garrison shit 24/7 for 365 days in a different country. Some people get shot at and some folks are bored in a guard tower.

I guarantee everybody feels their service is inadequate compared to somebody else. Oh I deployed 2 times, but my peer deployed 4. I went to Iraq, but this muldoon went to Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. Same shit with special schools or number of years served.

All this to say, your sacrifice and service is just as valuable as anybody else's.

Fuck now i think I need a Frosty to dip my soggy ass fries in.

I had infinitely greater impact on thousands of people as a drill in TRADOC than I ever have on deployment. I've gotten my guys promoted, sent to schools, mentored dozens of proverbial baby birds in the most mundane of garrison environments such that their future will be better than my present. I did nothing so significant overseas. We have got to stop with the fetishization of deployment, combat, etc.

Everyone who joins has a different experience. Stop comparing or you’ll never find peace 

It's kinda overrated, honestly. Not to diminish people that got hurt or killed but combat is the end state of your job (whatever that is).

The practice of planning, training, performing maintenance, reherals, etc is the craft. If you are successful in those things the likelihood of success in a combat situation skyrockets.

Not to mention, a guy that went through a NTC or JRTC cycle in a given year is going to do more of the above than some dude that made sure a tower didn't move for 12 months.

There are talented people on both sides of that experiential divide and both have valid contributions to the profession.

Don't let it weigh on you too much.

Most troops that deploy, do not participate in active CIB/CAB combat.

It's a luck thing, depending on how you look at it.

Most people deploying get a patch, then go home when the tour is over.

Comparison is the thief of joy

My first two deployments I felt the exact same way.

I’m not sure where I lost my innocence but somewhere between the next two: I WANTED SHIT DONE RIGHT!!! Looking back was the worse pain ever. I stand on my porch and life is chill. It’s hard to accept.

I’m an old man. I showed up late for OIF. I learned in OED/OND. The frustration is there for me. Through therapy; through accomplishments. This is my problem.

END RESULT: you have done shit the generation under you has not. Your job as a leader is to train them to not die. So their friends aren’t as fucked up as you.

It’s rough. There’s no over the mountain. There is no win.

It's just a patch, bro. Everyone's experience is going to be different. If you have one of the fancy guy badges (especially one you never really use) you probably get young soldiers who think it's amazing and you could care less about it.

You can have impact on the world in ways other than engaging in combat operations.   Look a little deeper at the things you have done for your joes, the things you uave accomplished in garrison and just the fact that you signed up to go through hell all the time.  That always has my respect and the respect of many around the nation.  

Sounds like you were right where the army needed you at the time, my dude. Thanks for all of it.

We don't get to choose.

How many deployments involve actual combat? Most soldiers never see it. It's not that deep.

If you did see combat, you'd probably wish you hadn't. Or you or your buddy might be dead, or an amputee.

Getting blown up by an IED doesn't sound very cool to me.

It's not like the movies.

You could volunteer for Ukraine and get killed by artillery. Or blinded by shrapnel.

Would you feel like you accomplished something then?

Getting killed by an Iranian missile doesn't sound great either. Maybe you should tell the families of our brothers and sisters recently KIA.

What a dumb fucking thing to write.