I am in Paris, a city that has sold itself to the world as a backdrop for romance, as if love only counts when it’s witnessed by another body. And still, I chose to go alone. I hesitated, because even the most liberated among us are taught to second guess solitude. We’re taught that beauty should be shared, that wonder needs a witness, that a woman alone must either be lonely or waiting. But I went anyway. I saved the Eiffel Tower for the night. Not because I ran out of time, but because I was deliberate. I wanted my first time to be mine. I stood there as it sparkled, not held, not claimed, not performing intimacy for anyone else. Just me, breathing, present, whole. The city did not collapse without a lover beside me. The magic did not evaporate. If anything, it sharpened. This is self love in its most radical form, choosing yourself in a culture that profits from your longing. Paris taught me something it doesn’t advertise on postcards, that solitude can be sacred. A woman alone is a complete woman. And right now, this is the relationship I’m tending to. And it is not lesser or sad. It sparkles too. ✨
I think my book should be called “How to live in the “wrong” body and love it”. Sounds perfect, isn’t it? #futureicon 😉
Lesson one of self respect: remove yourself from situations that drain you. I really didn’t just do it for me. I did it for my younger self and anyone who ever felt like they didn’t have the power to walk away.
My coming out letter to my younger self and everyone who needs it 💌
Liking a trans woman doesn’t make you not normal, it means you got great taste 😌💅🏼
There is a specific kind of comedy that only trans girls master, it’s called the art of receiving a man’s bullshit made believe pickup line and not romanticize it with potential outcomes. For a split second, it’s sweet and then muscle memory kicks in. Because being humorous is how trans girls survive being desired without being fully understood. We let men keep their fantasy intact while quietly translating ourselves into something they can digest. I’d call it harm reduction. When I joke about fertility and nuclear family unit, it’s not that I haven’t thought about it. It’s that I’ve thought about it too much. I am skilled at it. This isn’t tragedy or deception, it’s truth with a punchline.
Coucou 🫦
Men really think they’re the prize huh?
Dating apps as a trans person are an endurance sport, and I’m unfortunately well trained. I’ve already given you enough examples of male behavior that qualify as lesbian propaganda. But for balance, here are a few recent greetings from men that passed the bare minimum. Applause is unnecessary.
This is how I make decisions regarding men
Every time I think I am mean to men, I feel like I could be meaner.
The male lonely epidemic isn’t real. They keep calling it an “epidemic” like it’s a natural disaster, like women just woke up one day and decided to abandon to men. And why is it always our responsibility? They think that the solution for men to be less lonely is for women to be kinder, love harder, lower your standards to meet men. No. We can’t fix a problem that isn’t real. Let’s start with the obvious math no one wants to say out loud. The population is roughly 50/50. If a massive number of men are single, that means a massive number of women are single too. But notice the difference? Women aren’t lonely, we aren’t demanding access to men’s bodies, time, or emotional labor to survive. We adapted. We build community and sisterhood, we create chosen families. We learned how to be alone without being empty. We learned how to sit with ourselves without turning that discomfort into violence. Men were never taught that because they were never taught to be emotionally evolved. They were taught to compete and suppress, and that showing emotions or admitting pain is a sign of weakness. So male friendships become shallow, they get together, get drunk, joke around but you don’t know each other. No one ever demanded that they learn how to communicate or hold space. And now that women are no longer forced into relationships for survival, that emotional neglect is finally visible. Instead of asking men to grow, society turns to women and says, “fix this.” Be the therapist. Be the mother. Be the emotional rehabilitations for men. Fuck that. Instead of confronting that, patriarchy reframes the problem as women being too independent, too picky or entitled. Maybe this isn’t about loneliness at all. Maybe it’s about men realizing that without patriarchy and guaranteed access to women, there’s nothing left holding them together. Women built bridges. Men built walls. And now they’re alone with the echoes. So instead of asking women to return to the cage, maybe it’s time men learned how to build something that people actually want to live inside.
2016, pre op and thriving 😌 I can confidently say I never tucked 🤪🫶🏼❤️
The audacity of men will never cease to amaze me. It’s 2026 and they still cant reach the bare minimum of trans etiquette. Let’s be clear, however you choose to show up, that is your right. Especially when you’re just talking. We’re exchanging words, not genitals. So here are my three survival tips for dating while you are hot and trans: 1. If they ask about your genitalia upfront, that’s your cue. Block. Leave. Disappear. 2. If you’re not getting intimate, you don’t have to disclose anything. Personally, I disclose before anything intimate because I don’t enjoy surprises or awkward TED Talks. 3. Your body is yours. Period. Do what feels right and safe for you. You can always tell when someone is into you for what you have instead of who you are. And now for the people hiding behind “personal preference.” You’re entitled to it. That still doesn’t make you less of an asshole. Because until we start asking everyone what they’ve got going on down there within five minutes of chatting, I don’t buy it. Miss me with that excuse. Ask yourself this, what changed in the five seconds between you not knowing and you finding out? Was I suddenly less attractive? Less funny? Less real? Or did your bias finally have a name? Because preferences don’t appear out of nowhere. Prejudice does. And remember, once a chaser, always a chaser. Let them chase, expose themselves. Just don’t ever let them catch you. Choose people who see you. Date boldly. Laugh loudly. Block freely. Have fun out there divas 💅✨
A raw personal essay on harassment, power, and healing ❤️🩹
Dolls vs “bricks” discourse: tearing down a “brick” won’t build you a doll house.
One thing imma do is always give what I get 👊🏼😉
The art of leaving early | My guide to dating 😌✨ 1. Don’t date out of obligations I don’t go on “might as well” dates anymore. That sentence alone tells me everything. If I’m not curious from the messages, I won’t suddenly be curious across a table. Obligation dates are just two people politely wasting each other’s time. I’m done cosplaying interest. 2. Be honest with yourself I stopped asking if the date was fun and started asking if I felt lighter or heavier once it was over. Was I excited to see them again or relieved I could go home? If my body exhales when it’s done, that’s the answer. Chemistry doesn’t drain you. Confusion does. 3. Look out for patterns, not words One good date means nothing. One grand gesture means nothing. Consistency tells the truth. Texts that come back. Details that are remembered. Plans that actually happen. Anyone can perform once. Very few can show up repeatedly. 4. Use all your resources without shame All the apps. No discrimination. I met my ex on Tinder, what started as a one night stand turned into ten years. Apps didn’t cheapen dating, they clarified it. We all online shopping these days so why not. People say what they want, and I stopped romanticizing ambiguity and calling it “potential.” 5. Stop with the potentials If someone isn’t sure about me or I am not sure about them after a few dates, I’m gone. You cannot audition your way into being chosen. Interest doesn’t stutter. And I refuse to shrink, sparkle, or strategize just to be tolerated. I don’t chase clarity. I respond to it. Anything less than a fuck yes is my cue to leave. Have fun and be safe girlies 🩷
Ive been a woman for 13 years now, Ive learned which battles deserve truth and which deserves a punchline 🤭
Have you ever gotten a text from someone you don’t even know that well, someone who barely exists in your life emerging out of nowhere telling you they’re about to commit to someone else? Not an ex or a lover. Just a stranger with history you never had. It’s such a strange kind of intimacy, isn’t it? Almost intrusive. Like being handed a confession you didn’t ask for, “I’m choosing someone”. And you’re left staring at your phone, wondering why this moment passed through you at all. That’s dating, I guess. For a lot of people, exclusivity is a destination. Proof that you were worth stopping for. I don’t judge that. I really don’t. Reading that message, I didn’t feel jealous. I didn’t feel left behind. I just felt, different. There’s something tender about wanting to belong that badly in a world that teaches us we’re disposable. Somewhere along the way, I became too independent to confuse being chosen with being saved. I guess I am too honest to pretend I want to be tied down just to feel legitimate. I like the thrill of it all, moments that don’t promise forever but still feel alive in my body. Maybe that makes me restless and unfit for the fairytale… Still, I’m happy for them. I mean it. And to the hopeless romantics reading this, the ones who ache for permanence, for being picked and kept, your longing isn’t naïve. It’s brave. Just know this too, some of us chose freedom not because we fear love but because we already survived it.
Dating isn’t apolitical. Neither are bodies, identities, or who gets to feel safe. So yes, politics belongs in dating spaces, because values aren’t a side quest, they shape how you love, listen, and show up. For some of us, politics isn’t a hobby, it’s survival. It tells us who sees our humanity and who debates it. At the end of the day, isn’t it better to spend time with people we can trust with our bodies, our time and our futures? If politics makes you uncomfortable on a dating app, it’s usually because you’ve had the luxury of separating intimacy from consequence. Not everyone gets that privilege. Talking politics isn’t ruining the vibe. It’s clarifying it. Because chemistry without shared values is just attraction on borrowed time.
Men…
I saw this girl on TikTok asking AI to generate a man that would “suit her,” and out of pure curiosity, I tried it too. And can I tell you, AI knows me better than I know myself. Which is deeply impressive and slightly concerning for my therapist. You’re telling me this is the man that suits me? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of beautiful men. But this one? After all the conventionally attractive men, the emotionally unavailable men, the “I swear I’m different” men? Omg. I get why people are fascinated. Why people feel seen by AI. But let me be clear, no algorithm, no matter how hot, is replacing real life connection. I don’t want a perfect picture. I want chemistry, I want presence, a soul that sparks, a person that challenges me, grows with me, and meets me in real time, not just good lighting and clean lines. So yes, this was fun. Hilarious, even. A little validating, a little humbling, a little “damn, maybe I do know what I want now.” But at the end of the day, I’m still choosing humans. Messy, real, imperfect humans because connection isn’t generated. It’s felt. All in all? 10/10 experience. Would laugh again. 💅🔥
