cosmic_root
New member
canceled
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Some advice would be highly appreciated :)
- Thread starter cosmic_root
- Start date
Bit of an unorthodox answer coming here.
It sounds like your metamour went through something like this when you were new on the scene. And now you're going through this when he's just met and started having sex with another person. And you and the meta are friendly. So have you chatted to her about how she processed it all?
Also, for a little perspective, a used condom is a fact of life, not an act of disrespect. He's perhaps a bit of a slob if it was on the floor rather than in the bin, but there's absolutely no reason to believe he did anything to deliberately hurt you.
As for rebuilding trust, you've broken his trust significantly, too, so this is going to be work on both sides. You seem insecure in your attachment to him, even though you said that the hierarchy has begun flattening out. So he's secure with you but you're not secure with him as he starts dating other people. Just like your meta. And you want him to stop dating other people just like he stopped dating you when your meta asked him to. Are you testing him? Are you testing the hierarchy? What are your fears around him still dating? You didn't replace your meta, so why do you think a new person will replace you?
It sounds like your metamour went through something like this when you were new on the scene. And now you're going through this when he's just met and started having sex with another person. And you and the meta are friendly. So have you chatted to her about how she processed it all?
Also, for a little perspective, a used condom is a fact of life, not an act of disrespect. He's perhaps a bit of a slob if it was on the floor rather than in the bin, but there's absolutely no reason to believe he did anything to deliberately hurt you.
As for rebuilding trust, you've broken his trust significantly, too, so this is going to be work on both sides. You seem insecure in your attachment to him, even though you said that the hierarchy has begun flattening out. So he's secure with you but you're not secure with him as he starts dating other people. Just like your meta. And you want him to stop dating other people just like he stopped dating you when your meta asked him to. Are you testing him? Are you testing the hierarchy? What are your fears around him still dating? You didn't replace your meta, so why do you think a new person will replace you?
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